Variance
by dances.with.sunflowers
Summary: Life. Sasuke is back, her team is always gone, and the hospital is a grave. Sakuracentric. Updated weekly. COMPLETE!
1. Prologue

**Author's note**. Hello, fanfiction readers. I'm back with another story. I've written this in its entirety; updates will be weekly. The whole thing is about 80,000 words. I started writing this because I couldn't find a story exactly with this idea, so I just decided to write it myself. I hope someone enjoys reading this because I've kind of enjoyed writing all of it. :)

First chapter isn't really like all the others. This is sort of a prologue; emphasis on Sakura's life. (As a side note, I imagine Sakura to be between twenty-two and twenty-five. But the age isn't strictly necessary.)

This DISCLAIMER applies to the chapter below and all others: I'm sure you're all surprised, but I don't actually own Naruto.

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by danceswithsunflowers

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Sakura sighed. Walking down another hallway, she took a left into the lobby of the hospital and shrugged off her lab coat. The receptionist at the front desk smiled and waved goodbye; people loitered in the waiting room across the hall; everything smelt just as strongly like wounds and medicine as always.

The thought made Sakura smile. Death was never "easy," never "clean." With blood came wraps, knives, stitches, and chemicals.

Her boots echoed on the steps outside the hospital, and the sun hid behind the forest horizon with its rosy color. Sunset, Sakura thought. When was the last time she had gotten off work this early? She wasn't used to walking through the paths of Konoha with _people_. The people she interacted with nowadays were the ones dying, the ones bleeding and needing help. It was almost a stab to her profession to see these villagers alive and well, to see people who didn't need her or anyone else to mop up their blood and package them in the morgue.

Sakura shook her head. It was hard not to be morbid when she smelled like death.

A few nodded her way, remembering her face telling them so-and-so was fine and so-and-so was recovering. She used to remember all her patient's names. They were important to her; they were what made her remember she was worth something. Now after so very many faces, not everyone meant something. Most faded into the background, like she did.

Taking a right, Sakura caught sight of her apartment a block away and became intensely aware of the blood in her hair and the blood under her nails.

Marks, blood—those were things she knew.

Sakura jogged up the stairs and took the fire escape up to her apartment, swinging in the window. She threw her coat into the sink and filled it up with hot water. Opening the refrigerator door, she snatched out a lemon and squeezed it over the sink. Tangy. Sour. Bitter. The scent and taste seemed like it stayed on her hands for days. She turned off the tap and went to her room, slipping off her skirt and zipping her shirt off. Throwing another shirt over her head, she toed off her boots and left them laying by her bed.

She plopped onto her bed. And she lay down, some of the blood on her arms and her hands (blood on her hands) still warm and wet. She could just remember how it used to pulse in someone else. It stained her sheets.

Sakura closed her eyes and pulled the covers up to her waist. It didn't matter. She'd have to wash all her clothes, anyway.

She used to think things would be okay. That it wouldn't be perfect, but that it would still be okay. Everything would go back to some sort of normal. Everyone would be there. But somehow, someone wasn't good enough and someone wasn't strong enough and someone didn't do enough for things... to be okay. Someone, despite all her efforts, still managed to lose...

Maybe it was fit to just stop there, Sakura mused to herself.


	2. Chapter 1

It was five to twelve. Moonlight cast its glance over the trees and the cobblestones, while the sleepy sounds of night kept everything quiet. This wasn't what she pictured. She sat on that same bench; and she watched him enter into the gates. Quietly and with dignity.

Somehow, she had assumed that when Sasuke finally came home it would be during the day. People would smile or frown, greet him or not. She hadn't thought it would late at night when he stole into the village like a thief. Maybe it was better this way, she thought.

Cold prickled at her skin. Naruto threw a grin at her, that same childish smile that always broke across his face. Kakashi stood there with the type of pride in his eye that a father would have when his son came home. Sai was with them, too, a confused expression on his normally blank face; he couldn't really understand.

They were all bloody, of course. That was to be expected. Ten minutes ago, a messenger bird had tapped onto her window at her office in the hospital, with the simple note of "the front gate." Wind had cut at her face as she raced to the village gates. Breathless, she had dropped her medical bag and taken a seat. Speechless, she hadn't even had the words to think. To think of how this affected everything.

Naruto called her name, and she motioned him to her. His clothes were torn and his chakra was weak, but he ran like he felt alive. That was almost enough to make her smile.

Sakura peered over Naruto's shoulder, at a pair of black eyes under thick bangs. Moonlight looked good on him, she decided. As he neared, she smelled the blood on him. With a practiced eye she decided he needed medical attention first.

"Sit," she said, motioning to the bench she'd just occupied. She didn't have the cruelty in her to make a snide remark about it. Even with the nagging, old pain settling in her chest.

He was bleeding still. But he was Sasuke, and he moved with feline grace and an ease that she never could completely comprehend.

With authority, she moved aside his black shirt to inspect the deepest wounds. One eye on his ribcage, Sakura shifted her head over her shoulder and intoned, "Kakashi-sensei, will you tell Tsunade? And Sai, tell the nurses at the hospital's front station to prepare a room, please. Along with what they need for a physical."

She turned back to Sasuke and gingerly removed the wraps around his torso. Crudely bandaged, the gauze tore at his skin as she unwrapped it. The wound itself was incredibly deep, with circular cuts that surrounded the main damage. The Rasengan.

"Kakashi should've bandaged him instead," Sakura murmured, shooting Naruto a pointed look. She dropped the gauze to the ground and placed her hands over Sasuke's chest. Green light wound around her fingers. She watched as Sasuke's eyelids fell, as he sucked in a breath while the gash slowly closed.

With a distracted smile on her lips, Sakura asked, "Couldn't you have aimed for something less vital, Naruto?"

She heard the chuckle behind her, and she knew he was probably pumping his fist in the air. "You know he deserved it, Sakura-chan!"

The smile lingered on her lips. Raising her eyes to his, she tried to ignore the subtle intensity of those eyes, the watchful and observant quality that made her self-conscious. "Look at my right shoulder," she commanded softly, waiting until his onyx eyes landed on her shoulder. "This'll feel cool as I repair the tissue."

Focusing chakra into her hands, Sakura let her chakra probe into his retinal tissues and judge the extent of damage from his Sharingan. Vaguely she was aware of the sigh that slipped past Sasuke's lips. Again his eyelids drifted down.

She stopped the soothing chakra in her hands, and retracted her fingers from the sides of his face. His skin was soft. He opened his eyes and looked at her, exhaustion swimming in his black gaze.

He was heartbreakingly close, she thought. After being away for so long. Sakura closed her eyes and licked her lips, her throat suddenly feeling unbearably dry. Maybe it was the lump that stopped her from speaking. Not that she even knew what to say to him.

She opened her eyes to the hazy image of his newly healed chest and met his eyes to offer a small smile. Then she turned to Naruto. Her blond teammate stood tall and relaxed, every inch of him the same dependable tower everyone found themselves relying on.

"You'll take him to the hospital?" she asked, finally satisfied Sasuke wasn't in any danger of dying on the way.

"Of course," Naruto replied. He glanced at Sasuke and taunted, "Come on, Sasuke. Nurses are going to finish patching you up." Sasuke responded with a half-hearted glare. Like he had forgotten something, Naruto spun around and questioned, "You're gonna get some sleep now, though, right, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura shook her head. "I'm going to drop by the interrogation quarters. I've got connections, you know."

Ino owed her, and with her level at the hospital, she knew she could get Sasuke out of Ibiki's line of fire. She felt Sasuke's eyes on her as she thought that, and could just imagine his disapproval. Of course he didn't want their help. He had his pride. But she had hers, so she could forgive him of that.

"Then don't think of it as a favor," said Sakura. "I'm saving myself the trouble of healing you again."

Sasuke's disapproval lessened into a reluctant acceptance. She watched the two of them jump over a series of roofs and out of her sight.

* * *

The next day.

The paperwork was endless.

Sakura rubbed the back of her neck and finished signing the last of the legal papers. It took an hour or so to bargain her way onto Ibiki's good side, so he wouldn't use any force as long as Sasuke told him what he needed to know. Which she agreed to. If Sasuke wouldn't tell, then she wouldn't interfere if force was necessary. He owed them that much. To be honest about what he'd done and what he knew. She didn't think that was a lot to ask.

Her headache pounded in between her temples. Sakura brought the heels of her hands to her eyes, leaning against them on the desk. Sasuke's face flashed into her mind's eye, and she sighed. She was tired. So tired. It seemed like for months her exhaustion only accumulated. With a monotonous schedule and hundreds of faces a day at the hospital, she was left feeling sad and tired and alone.

Naruto, Kakashi, and Sai had been in Grass—dealing with a political mess—for the past four months. Of course she couldn't come with them for such a long mission. The hospital was understaffed and needed her. Then by some stroke of luck, they ran across Sasuke. And by some miracle, he was persuaded.

She shook her head. So much happened in that brief second he set foot into the village. It would take days to settle it. She hadn't slept since he came back and there was still so, so much to do.

Setting her hand down, Sakura tapped a polished nail on the hard wood of her desk. After a moment's contemplation, she pushed out of her chair and started the trek to Sasuke's room. Naruto's chakra pulsed next to him, and she smiled. Sasuke probably had gotten an earful from him. About what happened, about what he missed, about how everyone was doing, and about how he would kick Sasuke's ass if he ever left again.

Sakura turned the next corner and hesitated outside his door. What would he be like? Her heart racing, she lifted her hand to the cool handle of the door. She could take his silence. But she didn't know if she could handle walking into a room where everything was so similar. And just so, so wrong. What if things never felt right again?

She pushed down and entered the room. Naruto was perched in a chair by Sasuke's side, balancing the task of slurping ramen and talking. It was easy for Naruto. He did it at the same time.

She wrinkled her nose and chided him, "I'm sure Sasuke doesn't need to see half-eaten ramen noodles rolling around in your mouth, Naruto."

Naruto turned to face her, stricken. "Sakura-chan! So cold."

Sakura smiled at his antics. But her eyes were automatically drawn toward Sasuke. He didn't like hospitals, she knew. Who would when it vividly reminded you of death? The death of something important.

She softened at the faint amusement in Sasuke's eyes, however reluctant it was. Naruto was an idiot, but he was free. Somehow he managed to keep the sadness of living as a murderer from tainting any of his happiness. That was something both painful and refreshing to be around. Like staring into a lighted room after a dark one.

"How are you feeling?" Sakura asked.

Sasuke swiftly changed his gaze from Naruto to her and stared. He nodded, keeping his eyes on her. She gave a self-conscious pat to her hair and reached for his medical form. She knew what she must look like. She hadn't slept in at least thirty hours. Hadn't eaten in longer than that.

Skimming over his sheets, Sakura averted her attention to the words on the form. But Sasuke's gaze had her inching her eyes over the form, onto his face. He looked much better, she noted.

"You look better," she observed on impulse. Sasuke's eyes didn't waver, and she wrenched her thoughts back to his health. Flipping another page, she asked, "Are you in pain?"

"No."

She looked back at Naruto and lightly hit him on the head with the stack of medical sheets. "Shouldn't you be with Kakashi?" she reminded. "He wanted your help with Tsunade and the Elders."

Naruto scratched the back of his head and laughed. "Oh, yeah. I was going to! But I couldn't resist paying Sasuke-teme a visit. Doesn't he look pathetic in those bandages? And I'm as good as new!" He pounded his chest with his fist for added effect, then grinned.

Rolling her eyes, Sakura motioned him out of the room. "Go on. Be punctual."

To humor her, Naruto left. Never in his life, had he actually cared about being punctual.

Setting the clipboard onto the window sill, Sakura turned back to Sasuke. He was so dark in comparison to the crisp white sheets. He had apparently refused a hospital gown and wore a black t-shirt instead, much like the last he was hospitalized.

Gently she set her hands on the sides of his face and motioned towards her right shoulder. Sasuke stared at the same spot as last time, while she tested the pressure in his eyes. She couldn't touch the bloodline Sharingan, but she could heal his eye.

He had overused his eyes. Severely. It had to be painful.

"You should have taken better care of yourself," Sakura remarked. "You could go blind like that."

Sasuke didn't bother responding. Of course.

Although she had already finished, Sakura ran more of her chakra into his eyes. Just to ease away some of the pain. She continued with, "Will you cooperate with the interrogation team?"

His eyes remained closed, and he parted his lips. She remembered again how soft his skin was. "Yes."

A little piece of her relaxed. "Thank you," she whispered.

And he opened his eyes. He stared at her blankly, as if he couldn't understand. She realized the strangeness of her thanking him for anything and smiled.

"Feel better. Sasuke-kun." She walked towards the door. Holding it open, she paused as she heard his deep voice.

"Sakura..."

She knew he didn't have the words. She leaned against the doorway, smiled, and walked out. How could she resent his silence, when she hardly knew what to say either?

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a/n. hello, readers! thank you to everyone who reviewed:

**smiley-face-central, iUchibi, SasuSakuisforalways, Heartbroken Confession, ribbons-paws, foreversnow, Storms-winter, Crystal Koneko, MidniteCurse4Eternity, callmeclueless, Misery's-Toll, IrinaXP, Broken-Midnight, and youbrokeapromise.**

you guys are amazing, and i hope you continue to enjoy the story and to review. :D


	3. Chapter 2

Another day went by.

The cellar was cold, dank. Black. There were no windows; there was no sound. It was hard to imagine that there were hundreds of ninja in the building when she could hardly sense a pulse.

Sakura trod down the grimy hallway and stopped outside of the door labeled 405. With a delicately raised eyebrow, she knocked once, not sure if proper etiquette was strictly necessary in a place like this.

It was Ibiki's voice that rumbled through the darkness: "Come in, whoever you are!"

Just like him, she thought as she pushed the door inward. Ibiki stood tall and dominant in the room, hands leisurely folded behind his back. What an insult.

He wasn't happy with this arrangement, Sakura knew. And time hadn't helped his attitude. Sasuke sat in the chair in front of Ibiki, surprisingly docile. Sakura set her eyes on him, expecting to see some semblance of his pride, in the way he held himself, the look in his eye. Something. But there was none.

"Ah, Sakura," Ibiki greeted, turning from his captive to speak to her. "I expect you're here to see if I upheld my end of the bargain?" He threw the words around carelessly.

It grated Sakura's nerves. Nervously she glanced at Sasuke, recognizing the look of displeasure. Bargain? his eyes seemed to say. As in, a bargain to help him? The semblance of pride she had looked for manifested itself then, in the cocky tilt of his head. In an unusual way, the familiarity of the gesture was comforting.

Sakura smiled, tight-lipped, at Ibiki. "Of course not. You're a man of your word, Ibiki-san," she answered effortlessly, mindful of angering him. Ibiki was _not_ someone to provoke.

"Then you're here to take him?"

She shook her head. "I'm also here for you. Lady Tsunade would like your report."

He shoved his bulking hands into his black coat and headed for the door. "Oh, yes." He paused at the door, as if remembering something. "She's still making you run her errands?"

A mock. Sakura eyed one corner of the dungeon with distaste. "You forget what section you're in, Ibiki-san. I'm the only one in the hospital with clearance here."

His back tensed; she could feel the motion from where she was standing. He angled his arrogant chin over his shoulder and remarked, "You don't like my workspace, do you, Sakura? The hospital is much nicer."

She was getting tired of his jibes. "It is. But even you, Ibiki-san, have needed help in my," she paused with a smile on her lips, "much nicer hospital."

A short grunt echoed from his chest and Ibiki was gone, steps utterly silent. Pursing her lips, Sakura walked to the cellar door, opened it, and leaned against the frame to wait for Sasuke. "Then I assume you're done."

He was just a shadow in the darkness. The underground of the Konoha Penitentiary was as pitch black as any place she had ever been. His clothing was dark; it took her several moments to see his form in the hall. She shut the door, listening to its heavy iron edges slam against the frame.

"Bargain?" Sasuke murmured when they began to walk to the surface.

She swallowed and ignored his disapproving look. "If someone's willing to talk, there's no excuse for torture."

"But wouldn't that depend on who the prisoner was?"

Light was thin slit under the door to the upper half of the penitentiary. She kept her on eyes on it, as if it were salvation. "Yes," she replied firmly. "Which is why I talked to Ibiki for you."

* * *

"I need someone to look after him."

Those were the words that transformed Sakura's one and only day off into an ANBU mission. Tsunade studied her with those honey eyes, hands clasped, elbows leaning on the desk, peering at her with curious speculation. Sakura looked down and wondered if she had jinxed herself when she threw on her regular ninja clothes today. Perhaps she should have known better.

And after all she was doing for Sasuke already (naturally without his permission), she had to sacrifice a perfectly good day-off. Damn.

She listened as Tsunade continued with the reasons why she needed Sakura in particular to do this and how no one else was available. Tsunade finally finished and waited for the positive response Sakura was sure to give. It was for the village; she knew Sakura wouldn't decline.

With a professional nod, Sakura said the words Tsunade had been expecting.

"Of course I'll do it, Lady Hokage."

Those were the words that landed Sakura outside of Sasuke's house for the remainder of the day.

Sasuke trained in the back of his yard, still unable to set foot outside of his house. Lucky his house included a large amount of land. Sakura passively watched as he threw one shurikan after another, knowing that it wasn't lucky at all. Sakura wasn't blind, and Sakura wasn't cruel. He should have been allowed to stay somewhere else. Somewhere other than a lonely mansion that still smelled like death and blood. Abandonment.

Sakura eyed the exhausted twitch of his right leg and pondered whether or not she should eventually step in. As an ANBU watching him, she shouldn't. It was against the rules. As herself, though...

Sasuke threw another series of kunai and thundered up his chidori. Lightning flashed around his face in jagged, sharp whips, cutting through the air and filling it with heaviness. He roared and pummeled into the forest line. Wood gave way to his thunder and screamed its protest.

When the crashes died down, Sakura wondered if he'd collapsed. Looking around his property, she eyed the leveled spaces of used-to-be forest.

Her heart thudded in her ears. She hesitated, then made her decision. After jumping off her branch, Sakura slid through the mess of limbs and leaves and spotted the massive, swirling chakra in her mind's eye.

She dipped into the forest clearing and landed next to Sasuke with a soft thud. Grass crinkled under her weight. As she sat beside Sasuke, she pushed aside her ANBU mask. She was sure Sasuke already knew her chakra; under the circumstances, the mask was just unnecessary.

Sasuke peered at her from under his bangs. Sweat caked his body in a thick sheet.

Something about the intensity of his eyes trapped her in that gaze. Sakura gave him an unsteady smile and began, "You know that if an old building is unsafe, the Elders have to give another living space. To be confined in."

There wasn't a lot she could do to change any of the arrangements that were agreed on for Sasuke's "punishment," but she thought she saw the frown around his mouth lessen. Even if it was just a little bit.

"You're not supposed to talk to me," he stated.

"I know," she replied.

He never liked using more words than he needed to. She thought she explained herself... She wanted to talk to him. And she was worried about him. It'd been weeks since he'd first set foot in Konoha, weeks since he'd been stuffed into his old house. Sakura knew he must have been training like this every day. She could tell from his body's reactions.

Sasuke merely nodded and moved to stand up. She fought off the habit of helping patients to get up; he wouldn't appreciate that. He lifted himself off the ground and started toward the main house of the Uchiha district.

Following him, she breathlessly realized that even in his exhaustion he was faster than she was. She wondered what it would be like to see him fully recovered. He must lose himself in his own speed. How exhilarating that must be. That was her last thought as she landed on the front doorstep and followed him inside.

The house itself was elegant. If one could look past the signs of desertion, of loss.

Sasuke's footfalls were quick and soft ahead of her. He stopped inside a living room and sat onto a couch. Sakura skirted around the couch and sat sideways next to him.

He understood so many things without anyone having to tell him, she thought. Sakura ran her glowing hands over his arms and torso, looking for all the damage he caused. And the damage was everywhere.

Sasuke knew what he was doing was reckless, so Sakura simply settled for a firm, disapproving glare and asked, "Can I use your kitchen?" After receiving a nod, she walked into the adjacent kitchen.

She grabbed a few things out of the bag strapped around her waist, then began rummaging through the cabinets. She felt, rather than heard, Sasuke walk to the doorway and pause. She started mixing the contents of the jars with her chakra, and watched the liquid turn into its rosy shade of red. Sakura glanced up and motioned back to the living room. He should be sitting down.

Sasuke could pull of being miffed in any situation. He looked slightly offended, before he gave in to her request and slouched onto the couch in the other room.

Smiling, she turned into the living room, the drink in her hand. Sitting beside him, she offered, "It'll help your muscles repair the damage you've done."

A scowl settled onto his mouth. Nevertheless, he took the glass and downed it in one gulp.

Watching the medicine slide down his throat, she reprimanded, "It goes without saying, but you shouldn't have been training yourself so hard."

In his typical brooding nature, Sasuke leaned forward on his knees.

Sakura felt like she shouldn't leave it at that. It wasn't as if she didn't understand why he did.

She stood up and walked toward the door. "Come on," she urged. Sasuke just looked over at her, eyebrows scrunched together. "We need to go report the house, remember?" she said. "I'll be your witness."

There was a faintly hopeful tone in his voice. "But you know I can't leave."

Sakura smiled a little wider than she had in weeks. It wasn't often she got to help Sasuke with something that he would appreciate. "It'll be fine," Sakura assured. "I'll be your official escort through town."

* * *

a/n. this chapter is kind of a transition chapter, but i hope everyone's still enjoying it. :D (since i know i personally like the later chapters better.) and the next chapter will be longer, as well. and a HUGE THANK YOU to all my reviewers:

**Storms-winter, darkangel261, GoonieLove, Sakura's Indecision, shkh4ever, Misery's-Toll, smiley-face-central, callmeclueless, aNgelik aYis, Heartbroken Confession, MidniteCurse4Eternity, TigerLilyette, SasuSakuisforalways, foreversnow, Kaze and Kiba, youbrokeapromise, tastes-like-crayons, RinarinaXP**, and **ribbons-paws**.

thanks for sticking with this so far. :)


	4. Chapter 3

Sasuke was disgruntled, she could tell.

Hands firmly stuffed into his pockets, Kakashi style posture. He was not dissatisfied—just very disgruntled.

Few people knew the political system of Konoha better than Sakura. So she could use that knowledge to manipulate. What bothered him was the fact that things turned out _so very well,_ when Sakura recited in front of Tsunade that the Uchiha district was too neglected to live in safely.

That resulted in being able to find another suitable living space. Rather, confinement.

Since Sakura knew everyone in the village, she got the owner of an apartment building not too far from hers to agree to sell Sasuke an apartment. Against the owner's better judgment, at that. But Sakura was willful, and she won when she set her mind to it. The apartment owner had even said it would be "bad for business" at first.

And there was no way Sakura could twist that into somehow being in her benefit. He hated favors. Maybe it was relying on others, or his pride, or because he knew so very, very well that he didn't deserve anyone's help that it bothered him. But it did, and that was all that mattered.

Positively scowling, he sulked in the doorway of his apartment.

Sakura and Naruto, along with Kakashi and Sai, moved him aside as they carried in the cardboard boxes of his stuff. They had refused his help and gone beyond his boundaries of what he deemed acceptable _small _favors. In that respect, the biggest offender was Sakura. She insisted on doing everything. She was also the one who carried the most boxes, to no one's great surprise.

Naruto huffed and dropped his three boxes to the floor. Sakura waltzed in, the boxes she carried stacked to the ceiling, and chimed, "No dropping it, Naruto! You could break something." As she walked past Sasuke, she added a hesitant tease. "And we're supposed to be responsible movers, right, Sasuke-kun?"

He glowered at her, but it had the opposite effect he wanted. Her hesitant smile grew wider. Gently she placed the boxes in the corner and turned around.

Sakura laughed when she saw Naruto digging through the box he knew the microwave was in. He already had a cup of instant ramen in his hands. Sakura chuckled, glad she'd gotten all of Team Seven to help. They lightened the mood a little.

She risked a glance at Sasuke, eyeing his dark form in the entrance. Sometimes he looked like a wraith; sometimes the sadness in his eyes caught up with him, and he looked otherworldly.

It was still weird to be around Sasuke. But it was easier to do most anything with Naruto's cheerful smile in the room. Naruto let out a whoop when he found the microwave and plugged it in. He watched the seconds tick by with anxiety.

With a grin, Sakura walked behind him and looped her arms around Naruto's neck. She rested her cheek next to his.

She hadn't really been able to welcome any of them from their mission. Since Sasuke was back, they all had their share of things to do.

She tightened her hold, then let Naruto go, not missing the smile in his eyes. She ruffled his spiky hair and laughed, "You've got to find something else to obsess over, Naruto! It isn't healthy!"

Naruto gave a half-hearted frown and responded with a boisterous, "No chance, Sakura-chan! Ramen is the best! Believe it!" He finished with an enthusiastic fist in the air.

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck and shook his head, before returning to the ever-faithful orange book in his hands. Sai had the same smile on his face as always. He shifted from his spot beside Kakashi, and said he had a mission briefing to go to. In an instant he disappeared.

Sakura caught sight of Sasuke by the door again and bit her lip. She still couldn't quite figure out how she was supposed to act around him.

Naruto hollered next to her as the microwave beeped the end of three minutes. Ramen in hand, he spun around and sat Indian-style. "So, Sasuke-teme, are you just going to let Sakura do all the work?"

Sakura's cheeks tinged pink. Naruto and Kakashi were supposed to be detracting attention from her, so she didn't feel as uneasy.

Sasuke scowled again and answered from the doorway. "I don't _want _help from any of you."

Silence returned to the room, and Sakura fell speechless. Dejected, she stared out the window and felt the familiar feeling of an old pain tear into the bottom of her stomach, twisting and turning into knots.

Kakashi's smooth and controlled words broke the silence. "Well. It seems our help is a burden," he said, motioning around the room. "But we three are persistent people, and it looks like you're going to have to deal with Naruto's loud voice for at least a little longer. Be strong, Sasuke."

Sasuke sighed. But that was a sure sign of his giving in. It was one of Sasuke's idiosyncrasies—he could bear any "burden," but not one favor in the world.

Sakura released the breath she was holding, inwardly thanking Kakashi. And Naruto, better than anyone at ignoring something was wrong, continued his happy ramen-slurping as he brushed off Sasuke's comment with ease.

Thoughtful, Sakura stared past the window, into the streets where she could see the tops of the Hokage Tower. Who had picked the members of Team 7? In their own way, Sakura thought they went well together. She'd thought that for years. She believed it even more when one day she woke up and realized she was the only one left. Naruto and Sasuke-kun, gone. Kakashi-sensei, busy.

Sakura's eyes roved around the room. It was hard. They were having to rebuild everything. Trust, friendship, everything. But with a determined look around the room, she knew it was worth it. It had to be worth it. It was more than worth it.

They were her reason for living. They were the reason that she breathed, fought, tried, healed. Loved.

Instinctively she looked at Sasuke. He met her eyes and stared at her with that intense look, the one that made her feel like he knew everything and could see straight through her. Until she remembered how very long he actually _had_ stared straight through her.

Her heart clenched.

* * *

Two hours later, the four ninjas had the apartment looking lived in. Naruto and Kakashi spread out on the couch (which Sakura had moved) and set their feet on the heavy, cherry wood table (which Sakura had moved) in front of them. They both had a drink from the refrigerator (which Sakura had moved) and Naruto flicked on the television (which Sakura had also moved). Of course.

Sakura let out an unladylike snort.

Sasuke was crouched on the floor by a pile of scrolls. His pants were messily rolled up. His hair was spikier than normal, from his hands raking through it in frustration. And ink smudges stained his fingers.

Briefly she thought he looked painfully beautiful. Then she shut that thought away, far into the back of her mind.

At the unfamiliar sound coming Sakura of all people, Sasuke lifted an elegant eyebrow in question, a gesture she wasn't entirely used to seeing on him.

She gestured towards Naruto and Kakashi, and could have laughed at Sasuke's reaction. If anyone could convey the action of rolling his eyes without rolling his eyes, it was Sasuke.

He returned to his task at hand and arranged the different scrolls. Naruto and Kakashi must have noticed that it was about time that the heavy stuff would start happening. Neither had any intention of _organizing _anything.

Naruto scratched the back of his head and hoped Sakura wouldn't hit him. "Uh, I think it's about time I have to go," he said. "I promised Hinata I'd... Gotta go, bye!" He hurried out before Sakura had the chance to stammer a "What for?"

Kakashi sheepishly turned around on the couch and offered his excuse, "I hate cleaning." In a puff of smoke he was gone.

Sakura blinked a couple times after half of the group just _left_. Now she was alone, with Sasuke.

She turned to Sasuke, who shrugged. With one look at his body language, Sakura figured he thought she was about to leave.

Was this a bad choice? "I guess..." She looked up at the ceiling. "I guess it's just you and me, then."

Sasuke lifted his eyes from the scrolls to her. He hadn't expected that. A part of her was glad to help, but there was a another part that couldn't think around him. One that wanted to avoid rejection at all costs. After a moment, he simply shrugged his heavy shoulders and turned his head down.

Pursing her lips, Sakura tried not to smile. Nothing too horrible had happened so far. Within the first three days Sasuke had come home, he had thrown a table, a door that was off the hinges, and a lamp or two.

Various people had decided to take a look at him. And patience was not Sasuke's strong point.

And he wasn't throwing, anyway. It was a flip. Or a toss. She remembered having to defend him in front of the Elders, saying no one was hurt because he wasn't aiming to hurt anyone. He only didn't want to be watched. As if he were in a glass bowl, and everyone was entitled to stare.

They had really only half-bought that. But it did work. Sakura fought the smirk claiming her lips. She loved to out-maneuver the Elders. It made them so angry.

Sasuke was looking at her again. "I was just... thinking," she explained.

Why was it still so hard to talk around him?

To distract herself, Sakura faced the stack of books, magazines and papers, trying to make sense of it. She separated the reading books from the ordinary books—phone books and such—and thought where to put them. She'd long ago toed out of her boots, so she padded across the linoleum and placed the paper and phone book in the living room desk. That left the bookcase. Hopping on a chair, she filled the first shelf, then the second, and so on.

The floor was nearly bare. Grabbing the box of glasses with eerie ease, Sakura hefted it onto the counter and stepped onto the same chair.

He had wine glasses, she noticed. It almost didn't seem like him, since he never had company. Not that he currently could.

What they were doing now and earlier today took a lot of bargaining. Missing ninjas were not to have any conversation. Isolation in every respect. Sakura was afraid what Sasuke would be like in isolation like that. He seemed like someone who needed to be around people so he didn't... sink farther into his grief. Or guilt or loneliness. Or hate. She didn't pretend that she knew him so well, but she wasn't blind, and it wasn't hard to see if someone was miserable.

Looking for another glass, she found the last two wine glasses. Surprisingly, he had a lot of normal household items. Even though she guessed he never used them or even intended to.

Stepping down, she thought she felt Sasuke's eyes on her, but she shrugged it off. Kneeling in front of the refrigerator, she grabbed the wine bottle from the lowest rack and pulled it with her as she stood up. When Sakura turned around, she noticed that he _was_ looking at her. She tried to shove her nerves out of the way.

Leaning against the refrigerator door, she lifted the bottle of wine, and asked, "Momentous occasions? This is your new home."

He seemed to contemplate the idea after the initial expression of _no_. He faced away from her, and fit the last three scrolls into a desk drawer. She took it as a yes.

Screwing the cork off, she chuckled at the fizz that popped out with it. She filled two glasses and hesitantly plopped next to where he sat. Sasuke took the glass with his normal silent dignity and lifted it to his lips.

"We can't cheer that way, you know," she pointed out.

His forehead wrinkled, before he consented.

She tapped her glass against his and offered, "To happier living."

Happier, instead of happy. Time had made her a realist.

The wine was a mix between a very old taste and just a hint of something vaguely tangy. Sakura approved. With another tilt of her head, she sipped more of the wine and let it swish in her mouth. It tasted very good, she appraised again. Very distinct. Slyly, she let her eyes wander to him. His taste in wine was very much like himself.

After another couple of tastes, Sakura stared at the near empty wine glass.

"The turning point, I'm afraid," she said. Closing her eyes, Sakura laid on her back. She didn't have to look, to feel his gaze pouring all its focus on her face. She continued, "To get another drink, or not to get another drink. To get drunk, or not to get drunk." The former of each comparison always sounded the most favorable on her lips.

Had her sensei taught her that well, or was it just everything that had been happening? Sakura supposed it was both. Either way, she wanted something sliding down her throat, and washing away the stinging remains of fatigue and loneliness...

Were Kakashi-sensei and Naruto just better at it than she was? Maybe having to see everything happen was what made it so sensitive for her. Seeing it and not being able to do a damn thing. Except watch him as he was so blatantly became something else, someone else. The lump returned in her throat.

The next thing she felt was the smooth handle of the wine glass being picked out of her hands. Opening her eyes, she watched as Sasuke filled up her glass and his, before he handed it back to her. She ignored the childish—foolish—flutter in her heart when her hand touched his.

Laying back down, she lifted her head every so often to take another sip. She wasn't sure how much she could handle of this particular wine, and she had no intention of going to work tomorrow with a splitting hangover. Of course, she never had that intention, but it always happened on these "momentous occasions."

Although she hadn't ever had a "momentous occasion" with Sasuke. She looked him over thoughtfully and prepared to ask a question. She also knew that it was the wine that was making her feel less nervous.

"Are you okay being here?" she asked.

Sasuke turned away from the opposite window and stared at her. She had to remind herself forget that those beautiful and bottomless eyes weren't the only thing in the world. She found that hard to do.

He noticed her wording. She didn't expect him to say he was happy here, but she wanted to know that he didn't hate it.

"It's better," came his deep, rumbling voice.

She nodded, the corners of her lips turning up. She knew he meant that comparatively to the past few years. It wasn't a "I love it here," which she hadn't expected, but it was as close as she was going to get to "It's better than anywhere else."

"Since when do you and the dobe get along?" Sasuke suddenly asked.

"Since you left," answered Sakura. She was also aware that wine took away her tact. "Common goal."

She gave him a meaningful look, but he averted his eyes.

"He's an idiot, I know," Sakura added. "But he's so good."

_Good_. It was an accurate description of Naruto.

Night had fallen, and she suddenly realized how late it was. It was quiet throughout Konoha, especially quiet in Sasuke's apartment.

A familiar weight landed on her chest, but she knew now was not the time to say something like she missed him. But oh, she did. It was never the same. Not without him. Even though she had gotten so much better, so much stronger without him.

She finished her second glass and threw responsibility to the wind. Leaning over, she dipped the wine glass over the rim and watched the ruby drops fall. Not moving, she remained on her side and pillowed her head with her arm.

"Sasuke-kun."

He turned and looked at her, eyes positively boring into hers. Wrinkling her forehead, she tried to grasp the words, but failed. She sat up to down half the glass and paused.

"I know that as pointless as this sounds, I'm sure you expected to be asked this eventually." Her short hair tickled the back of her neck. As she asked, she became acutely aware of herself. "Why... What persuaded you to come back?"

Why was nothing else good enough? Why were they not good enough before? Why was _she_ never good enough?

His eyes seared into hers. There were few people who were as observant as Sasuke. She felt small under his stare. Vulnerable.

He didn't answer. She figured he didn't have the words, and that was okay. Sakura lay back down and let out the breath she didn't know she was holding. She was almost scared of what his reason might be. That it might not have anything to do with them.

Didn't he know how important he was? Didn't he understand he was family?

Moonlight filtered into the room. The lights from the kitchen were blocked by the half-shut door. Sakura didn't notice when exactly she fell asleep.

* * *

a/n. yowza, fifty one reviews! have i told the reviewers today that i love them? i think not. so I LOVE YOU. here's a special shout out to the reviewing readers of the last chapter:

**shkh4ever, TigerLilyette, luvinukag83, darkangel261, callmeclueless, jolteonforever, izzybell117, Storms-winter, Sakura's Indecision, Misery's-Toll, Emily Leen, Sakura Haruno . . . CHA, Broken-Midnight, MidniteCurse4Eternity, foreversnow**, and **starry123**. oh, and a special thanks for the super long review by **luvinukag83**. ;)

you know the drill, ff-ers. read and review.


	5. Chapter 4

by the way, does anyone use the 1/2 page setting when reading on this site? (i hereby advocate it.)

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The next morning sunlight shone on her face. Darkness faded into white, then to the blurry image of a horizontal wall. Sakura blinked and sat up straight. Glancing around, she looked for Sasuke.

Had he just let her sleep here? She found him sitting right where he was, head leaning on top of his chest, black spiky hairs pressed against the wall. Her fingers twitched to smooth it down. Then she looked wide-eyed for a clock and realized, with a sinking feeling in her stomach, she was past late.

Nearly knocking over the wine glass from last night, she stood up and leaned over the mirror on the wall.

Sasuke hadn't wanted the mirror, but she got it for him, regardless. Along with much of the other furniture. She took an approving glance around the room. She thought it turned out well. Thick, sturdy furniture. Nothing brightly colored.

Patting down the pink strands in her face, Sakura tried to straighten herself out and smooth her clothes. She was going to have to go to the Elders today, she knew it. Falling asleep here was an accident, but it wasn't part of the deal.

Looking down, she crouched on the balls of her feet and stared at Sasuke's sleeping face. She raised her hand to move his hair out of his face and held in mid-air. Maybe it was the slight pounding in her head, or the relaxed facial expression he had, but she decided to run her hand lightly through his hair. It was soft, she thought fondly. Retracting her hand, she cradled it against her chest and stood up to leave.

"Bye, Sasuke-kun."

Of course he was awake, but she didn't know that. No one ever really caught Sasuke Uchiha asleep.

* * *

Seven hours later.

Sakura leaned her forehead against the door of her office. The hospital was tearing at the seams with patients. A construction site in the northeast corner collapsed. So many civilians were hurt. And civilians were notorious in the ninja world for their lack of pain tolerance.

The staff was in panic when she arrived, scurrying back and forth like scared rats. After some well-timed yells, she managed to get their attention and assign the different tasks. But the custodial group was certainly not happy. Two hours after that, an ANBU squad came in looking like death and bled rivers in the lobby. It took hours of surgery, but they all managed to survive.

Then she was summoned to the Elders to explain her direct disobedience of their deal. Explaining it was an accident wouldn't do her any good. Suckering her way out of anything serious, she managed to get just a week without missions as a reminder to uphold arrangements with the Elders.

Tsunade just laughed afterwards. The Elders didn't keep close track of what the ninjas specialized in, so it was hardly a punishment. She wouldn't be allowed out of hospital duty until things calmed down, punishment or not.

Someone knocked on her door, and Sakura's head pounded from the impact. Her headache got about ten degrees worse.

"Hey, Sakura-chan!"

Naruto, she should've known. He bounded in the door with a great big smile on his face.

"I've got a plan!" He set his hands on his hips in accomplishment. His face fell into a serious conspiracy mode. "You know how Sasuke has to have ANBU watch over him all the time? Well, if you volunteer, then he'll only have me, you, Kakashi, and Sai ever doing it."

He seemed really proud of himself. Despite her headache and her problems, Sakura smiled. She had so much stuff to do here, but she didn't want to let Naruto down.

"Sure. But why is that such a good thing?" she asked.

Naruto frowned and laced his hands behind his head. "Because all the other ANBU are snobs and jerks! Sasuke-teme doesn't say so, but I know he hates it. Imagine having someone you know nothing about watching you all day."

That was one thing Naruto did well. He could relate to almost anyone.

"Besides, he shouldn't be in isolation," he said. "Sasuke shouldn't be alone, you know? So that's why we need to bother him!"

Laughing, she rested against the sill of the window. Her legs had started to shake from standing. Thankfully, Naruto hadn't noticed. "Alright," she agreed. "I'm in. Have you been watching him a lot recently?"

Naruto gave up a thumbs up and grinned. "Of course! He's still as silent as ever, but... he doesn't seem angry."

Sakura nodded. Not angry was good. She and Naruto and Kakashi just wanted him to be... at peace? Is that the word she was looking for? Yes, something like that. She gave a tentative smile and asked what shift could she take.

Naruto thought about it for a minute. "Well... Kakashi's got those teaching assignments during the day, and Sai's got his night missions. So I guess me and you could switch off between the morning and the afternoon." He nodded to himself and then glanced back at her. "But wait, can you? You've got all this stuff at the hospital. I heard something big happened earlier."

"Nothing much happened," Sakura lied smoothly. "And it'll be fine. It's only a few hours. I can finish my shift here and watch Sasuke, too."

No, it probably wouldn't work out smoothly, she thought to herself. But she was Sakura and she really did want to help. So she would.

* * *

The crisp morning wind felt good as it rustled through her short hair, whipping strands across her face. Her green eyes softened as they caught sight of his apartment. She hoped he liked it.

Sakura stilled. Perched on a branch, she mulled over her thoughts.

Realize he's a traitor, she told herself. Who cares if he likes the apartment she picked out? She was here as an ANBU to watch over one rebellious, dangerous ninja. She was here "on business."

Sakura jumped onto the sill of his apartment and pulled up the window. She slipped into his living room and headed into the kitchen.

Sasuke leaned against his counter, eating a very red tomato. He was shirtless, at that. It looked as if he had just been training. He had a strange look on his face, not confused, but wondering.

Realizing she still had her henge up, Sakura dropped the jutsu, brown hair fading into light pink. Pulling her mask to the side, Sakura leaned against the door frame.

"Morning," she greeted.

Sasuke ran his hand through his hair and swallowed the piece of tomato in his mouth. In the back of her mind, she noticed those gestures were fairly self-conscious. Who would have thought? She also realized that she had probably been more forward than the rest of Team 7. But the point was that he didn't have strangers lurking outside his house, right? But maybe inviting herself in was over-stepping boundaries.

He nodded as a greeting, then popped the remainder of the tomato in his mouth. He turned to the sink to rinse his hands under the tap.

His hair wasn't combed, spiking more than usual and hanging in his face, making him look rather disheveled. So he didn't always look perfect, then.

Promptly Sasuke skirted out the kitchen, and she heard a rustle of clothing. He returned fully clothed. It could have been his proper upraising, but Sakura thought it had a little to do with her.

She folded her arms across her chest, the ANBU vest and standard clothing feeling odd when she moved. She hadn't done too many ANBU missions recently. Not for the past several months, besides the one time she was at the Uchiha district.

Sasuke rifled through the refrigerator for another tomato. "You should widen your taste in food," Sakura remarked as she searched through his cabinets. "Just like Naruto. Obsessing over a single food."

His glare morphed into a glower. She turned on the tap and heard him over the water. "I do not obsess. Tomatoes are much better than ramen." She heard a faint grumble that sounded like "dobe."

Flicking on the stove, Sakura placed the pot on the stove top and set the tea bags in. "I think so, too. But tomatoes are your equivalent to his ramen."

She smiled lightly when he didn't respond. Turning around, Sakura set her hands on the counter behind her, and looked him up and down. Normally Sasuke wouldn't have said anything, but she was being very direct.

"What?" he grumped.

His voice was a little gruff in the morning, she noted in amusement. "You look better now that you're not training all day and night," Sakura explained.

And he did. Even with sweat still shining on his forehead, he looked tired, but not exhausted. Not dead. She cringed when she imagined his skin the sickly pallor of the bodies in the morgue.

The smell of tea wafted to her nose, and she spun around, taking the tea bags out and turning the stove down. "Have some tea," she offered. "It's good for you. Helps exhaustion."

He took the cup she handed to him and disappeared out of the kitchen. Sakura took her own cup of tea and peered around the corner. What to do?

Maybe she shouldn't even be in his apartment. Maybe she shouldn't be here like this.

Sasuke's back hunched over the table in front of the couch. She spotted the end of a scroll that dangled off the edge, and wondered at his productive nature.

Fatigue was seeping into her system. Sakura rubbed her temples and wandered into his living room, looking for distraction. Idly she inspected the rows of his bookcase. He had a lot of books. She'd only skimmed over the titles when she arranged them, so she decided to look over the titles again.

What did Sasuke like to read? What did he do that wasn't out of duty or obligation?

Generally his books were about politics. Sakura raised a slim, pink eyebrow at that. She didn't know he read about political affairs. The rest that didn't fit into that category were a variety of essays on chakra development, particularly about chakra and the eye. Sakura thought he went up a notch or two on the sensible scale with that. It was good he had an interest about the effects of his bloodline trait.

Then the rest of the books were records, guidelines, and laws. A few books were in a different language. And at the bottom were regular books, the topics ranging from true stories to classics.

She murmured a mild approval at his books and slipped one hardback from the shelf. She half-expected him to say something like, "Do you always make yourself at home everywhere you go?" Then she decided it was much more like him to think it and not say it.

She slid her eyes to him and saw him in the same position, just as focused and his back just as tense. Mustering up any courage she had, Sakura rounded the corner of the couch and sat next to him.

That time, she was sure there was a definite sigh passing through his lips. A little part of her cringed at that, because she didn't want to be _annoying_, but it had been a month already of his punishment. Although she wondered if it was her place to say whether or not he needed company. Distraction, rather.

She forced a smile on her mouth to cover her uncertainty. "You have to be at least a little bored. Just sometimes."

He didn't vocally disagree, at least.

She tapped the book in her lap with one finger. "The laws say that you can't leave the borders and you're confined to the assigned living arrangements." She paused and added purposefully, "Unless an ANBU designated to watch you, acts as an escort to a destination."

Sasuke had the expression of "Yeah, and?" on his face. "I'd rather stay here than go to the Hokage Tower for fun," he quipped. "Thanks."

His sarcastic comment reminded Sakura of his twelve year old self. She rolled her eyes, wondering if she was just good at finding loop holes.

Undeterred, she continued, "Although you can't loiter _in_ the village, I can take you somewhere outside the village property. Like, for instance, the training grounds. If you get sick of staring at these four walls, tell me. I wouldn't mind."

He looked ahead of him and didn't say anything. She guessed what he was thinking.

"Kakashi-sensei thought he was breaking the rules when he sneaked you out, huh?" she asked, humor lingering in her eyes. "But I can I forgive him. He obviously didn't read the handbook very closely. He _does_ only use one eye, after all."

Had she imagined his smile?

* * *

Later that day, Sakura almost regretted saying yes to Naruto. When she volunteered for his cause, she wasn't thinking of the paperwork left over from that day's catastrophes.

That left her at her desk at eleven o' clock at night, when her shift was supposed to end three hours ago. She hadn't slept a full night since the day before yesterday, and that was on Sasuke's floor. A few hours here and there, but it didn't help enough. She was so tired.

And then there was Sasuke, who was one large aspect of confusion in her life.

She rubbed her eyes and leaned back in her chair. How she wished Tsunade still half-ran the hospital. There wasn't really a head of the hospital now. Tsunade was by title, but she was up to her neck in Hokage business. Shizune helped sometimes, but she was mainly needed with Tsunade. That left Sakura.

It wasn't as if she didn't enjoy her job. She normally did. It was when things got like this, that it was easy to forget why she liked the hospital. Suddenly it was less like helping people and more like damage control. So much legality, too.

That brought her mind back to the task at hand, although it was tempting to simply leave it undone.

At a dreadfully early one o' clock in the morning, Sakura heaved herself through the window of Sasuke's apartment. Kakashi stood against the wall with a curious expression, one hand in his pocket, the other holding that little orange book.

Moonlight cast lighted rays in the room; it made the circles under her eyes darker and her skin paler. Kakashi's face fell into a frown.

Sakura sent an apologetic smile. "I had completely overlooked the amount of paperwork I would have to do from the construction site and the ANBU squad. I wasn't supposed to work so late."

She might have tried something other than the truth, but she still wore her clothes and lab coat from earlier. Her ANBU uniform was in her hand.

"Do you mind if I just sleep on his couch 'til my turn? I really didn't think I could get up and drag myself here if I just went home," she continued, her voice soft and quiet from how tired she was.

Kakashi rolled his lone eye. "Of course you can, Sakura. Get some sleep."

He looked unbearably sweet when he said that. It reminded Sakura of how little she had seen him for the past month. For the past five months, because of the mission they were on.

Smiling, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him for good measure. Tousling his gray hair, she added, "I never really got to tell you three I was glad to have you back. It wasn't the same without you. I missed all of you. It seemed like the longest four months I'd ever had."

"Good," he remarked. "You had better missed us. We missed you. We wished you were with us."

Sakura thought he had looked at her differently since Sasuke came back. Maybe having the team together again was making him sentimental. She laughed and turned toward the couch, flopping onto it with all the enthusiasm she had to offer. Darkness welcomed her with open arms. She gladly sank into sleep.

Three hours later, one hand on her shoulder tugged her from her dream, gently jostling her until her eyes blinked open.

Kakashi stood over her and laid his hand on her head, patting her soft pink hair. "I'm sorry. I wish I could let you sleep longer, but I have to go." Morning streamed in through the windows. Kakashi thought she looked even more tired now.

She shook her head sleepily. "No, no. It's fine, Kakashi-sensei. I feel better."

Kakashi looked impressively disbelieving. "You couldn't feel that much better. And you know I'm not your sensei—"

He stopped and shook his head. He supposed it didn't matter if she still wanted to call him sensei. It was kind of cute to hear it.

Standing up, he remarked, "Just take care of yourself. Don't let Sasuke give you any trouble." He pulled his hand in front of him and disappeared in a small billow of smoke.

Sakura sat for another few seconds, blinking and wiping away the sleep in her eyes. She rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand and padded into the hallway.

Sasuke's still form lay on his bed in his room. He was sleeping. Lucky him.

In the bathroom Sakura discarded her clothes and pulled on her ANBU uniform. A yawn slipped in between her lips, and she berated herself. For letting her weariness distract her so much. For forgetting that paperwork, otherwise she wouldn't be quite as tired.

She glanced in the mirror and patted her hair, straightened her clothes. Stepping into the hallway, she slipped into Sasuke's room.

His navy blue sheets were wrinkled and tossed off his body. Both of his arms were thrown above his head, one under the pillow. His right leg was bent upwards, too. He was wearing white shorts and a baggy blue shirt, one with a high collar, looking heartbreakingly similar to the twelve year old Sasuke that had disappeared from all their lives. Her eyes strayed to his parted lips, softly breathing inhales and exhales. Quickly she averted her gaze.

Sakura hesitated in the doorway before she walked in and stood at the side of his bed. He was usually up by now, so she wondered, maybe he was sick?

She swept his raven-colored hair off his forehead and laid her hand on top of his warm skin. Since ninja who trained excessively often got small fevers, she shrugged it off. He would probably feel better in another couple of hours. At least he had the sense to go to bed when he didn't feel well.

Still hovering, she scrunched her face up. Should she be in here, in the first place?

Sakura stepped out of the room, intending to get a rag. In his bathroom she turned on the tap and ran a hand towel under the cold water.

A bed squeaked. She leaned her head out into the hallway and expected to see Sasuke moving around. Instead, he was still laying down, more or less in the same position.

She tip toed back into his room and leaned over his sleeping form, placing the rag onto his forehead. He groaned in his sleep, and briefly she smiled. The lines were smoothed out around his mouth and eyes, and she hoped he wouldn't wake up until he felt better. He needed to sleep. She had the distinct feeling he never particularly slept _well_.

Sakura pulled away from him and glanced around the room. It was much more inhabited than the last time she saw it. Opened scrolls littered the table to her right, and his shoes lay dejected by his bed. Even some clothes were carelessly strewn on top of chairs and on the end of his bed.

He was restless. Always doing something. He was a clean person, so the clutter was proof of that.

She moved his shoes and straightened out his clothes on the back of a chair, before she plopped down in front of his table. Frowning, she paused to wonder what she could do. She couldn't fall asleep. She was supposed to watch him. Not that he really needed watching.

She peeked over her shoulder one last time at his sleeping face. A yawn cut off her thoughts and despite all her efforts, she ended up slumped on top of his table, eyes closed in peaceful slumber.

For the second time in four hours, Sakura woke up with someone shaking her. Blearily she opened her eyes and tried to process the image in front of her. Was she dreaming? Her mind was blank as to why she was waking up to Sasuke's dark eyed gaze.

"Sasuke-kun?" she asked, voice soft from sleepiness.

He didn't look so awake, either, she noticed. He held in his hand the rag that she had placed on his forehead. He looked very disoriented. "Do you have anything for headaches?"

Even in her half-awake state, Sakura laughed at the deep, gruffness of his voice, still heavy with sleep. She nodded and tucked the stray strands of hair behind her ear. "Yeah, I do. How many do you need?"

"However many you can give me."

Apparently pain made Sasuke more of a talker. He laid his hand over his eyes and let out a soft groan. Reaching behind her, she pulled out a capsule and handed him two pills. He popped them in his mouth dry and moved to sit back on his bed.

Sakura stood up and mercifully closed the blinds to shut out most of the light. She leaned in front of Sasuke, bracing her hands against her knees.

He stared unseeingly at her. She rested her hand on his forehead again. He was only a little warm. She frowned and hoped it was just the chakra exhaustion and the headache.

"Hey, I'll go make you some tea," offered Sakura. "Why don't you lay back down?"

He responded with a distant nod, and she left him to head into the kitchen. What kind of tea to make? She rummaged through the contents of the last cabinet. Since she had bought the tea in the first place, she knew where everything was placed.

Twirling the tea bags in the water, Sakura saw her reflection, distorted and rippled. Could she take tomorrow off from the hospital? Better yet, could she take the remainder of today off?

No, she thought. She couldn't afford to. Or else she'd be buried in work when she got back.

When the tea took on the right color, she poured some in a cup. The carpet was soft under her feet as she walked back to his room, making her remember how she'd slept on it. She wouldn't mind sleeping now, she thought wistfully.

With the door open, she could see Sasuke still sitting up in the bed, rubbing at his eyes. She paused when she stood in front of him, and lifted the cup toward him. He took his hand away from his eyes and accepted the tea. Faintly, she heard a murmured "thanks" from under his breath.

She smiled. "It's no problem." She leaned on the table behind her. "Do you feel any better?"

He just grunted as a vague response, true to his nature. Sasuke took an appreciative gulp of the tea and looked up at Sakura. Blinking a couple of times, he seemed not to understand what he was seeing. After a moment, he cast a sideways glance at the clothes that were laid on top of each other and then back at her. The confused look turned into a somewhat reproachful, accusing one.

"You're one to be taking care of me," he scoffed.

Her eyebrows shot up. Staring, she thought he might have had a shadow of guilt in his eyes when he said it. Sakura brushed off the insult—there was never sense in arguing with a sick person—and replied, "I know. The hospital was flooded, but I wanted to be here."

She had added the last part as an after thought. But when he looked up, she nearly regretted it, even though it was true. His silent question was pretty obvious: Why? For someone with so much pride, he was painfully aware of how little reason anyone had to help him.

Anyone but Team 7, Sakura amended. She had a lot of reasons to want to be around him.

She almost opened her mouth and continued, but she thought better and didn't say anything else, just left it at that.

"Sai will be here in another hour," Sakura remarked. "If you feel worse, you can go to hospital. Ask for me, and they won't make you go through the waiting room."

He nodded and raked a hand through his unkempt hair. Although she tried to hold in her amusement, Sasuke still looked up with a miffed frown. He didn't like to be laughed at; he had too much dignity for that.

But it wasn't a bad laugh, Sakura thought. He looked just as well in the morning. Just more casual, less put together. Wrinkled clothes, stumble on his chin, black hair in disarray—it wasn't as if she had ever found him unattractive a day in her life. Didn't he know that?

He took another swallow of the tea. She slid her hand around the porcelain, taking it from him. She headed back to the kitchen.

* * *

It was dark when she got home from the hospital. It usually was.

She walked up her apartment steps and trailed up the fire escape. She swung into her window, smiled at the wonderful darkness of the room, and closed her eyes. Compared to the blinding fluorescent lights of the hospital, her apartment was heaven for her headache.

She walked into the kitchen, threw her cloak in the sink, grabbed a lemon from the refrigerator, turned on the tap, and left the cloak to soak the blood out.

Mundane.

For the past five months, her life had fallen into days of exact replica. Same old, same old.

She sighed and strode into her room, pulling off clothing as she went. Yanking a baggy t-shirt off the back of a chair, she threw it over her head and sank into her bed. As her back hit the sheets, Sakura felt herself instantly falling asleep.

The edges of her thoughts became hazy, and she struggled to get up and set her alarm clock. In another six hours, she needed to get up. Six hours wasn't what she needed, but a hell of a lot better than what she had been getting. She fell back down on her mattress and tried to remember everything she still needed to do.

Where was everyone again? Naruto was on a mission tonight; Sai was helping the interrogation center with something; Kakashi-sensei was with Tsunade. And Sasuke hadn't come to the hospital, which meant little other than he wasn't dying.

How was he doing? Probably fine. She still made a mental note to take some things when she went to his house.

Oh, what else, she thought. Paperwork, of course. The Elders, again, were calling a meeting to survey Sasuke's progress. In another week, if they approve, Sasuke would be off home arrest. He couldn't leave the village in another month probably, but it was something.

At that, she laid her hand over her eyes. Naruto seemed pretty happy with Sasuke. Just having him, though, made Naruto happy. The look in his eyes when she and Naruto finally got to talk... He was so proud to fulfill his promise.

So many doubts. What if things weren't ever particularly the same?

A small smile tugged her lips upward. Naruto would say that they would. The last thing she thought before she fell out of consciousness was: is believing something really enough to make it happen?

* * *

a/n. check it out. nearly five thousand words. oh, and a comment on the last chapter, the drinking part wasn't merely to induce sakura to open her mouth or anything. it won't be a major aspect of the story, but alcoholism will be something sakura in the future will have to deal with. (and for the record, i don't endorse it or whatever.)

moving on. thank you SO MUCH to: **Kaze and Kiba, darkangel261, :)), Misery's Toll, Lady Rini, elena, RinarinaXP, Emily Reen, callmeclueless, MidniteCurse4Eternity, SasuSakuKawai, Sakura's Indecision, Storms-winter**, and **Original Blue**

for reviewing! :) thank you for taking the time. but special thanks go to gigantic reviews left by **Sakura's Indecision** and **Storms-winter**. i am blushing at all the thought you two put into your reviews, and i just want to say i really appreciate them. :D


	6. Chapter 5

Her hand on the window, Sakura yanked it up and slid into Sasuke's living room. She walked to the door of the apartment and toed off her shoes there, before she headed to his room. Was he asleep? Kakashi was getting it easy these days, she thought to herself.

Peering behind the nearly closed door, she spied Sasuke. Still asleep.

Eyebrows raised, she tip toed to his bed. Silently she hoped, please don't let him be sick. One hand to his forehead told her the opposite.

He was burning. Moving her hand to rest on his shoulder, she shook him lightly. He only groaned and turned his head away from her. Sakura frowned and sat next to him, shaking slightly harder.

"Sasuke-kun. Wake up, please."

His forehead puckered. Sasuke reluctantly opened his eyes, murmuring an unappreciative, "People are always in my house," as he looked at her.

She snorted, glaring at him down her nose. "I'm doing _you_ a favor. So sit up."

He tossed the covers off his legs and sat up, elbows resting on his knees, scowl in place. She fought a smile at his ruffled hair; it looked like birds' feathers. "What do you want, Sakura?" growled Sasuke.

"You make it seem as if you're the one doing me a favor." Just to double-check, she felt his forehead again. Maybe... just shy of 102 degrees? His eyes blinked closed when her cold hand touched his forehead.

She bit her lip. Just great. Considering he hasn't been out of his house, he was most likely sick because he wasn't taking care of himself.

"Alright, Sasuke-kun," she said softly, keeping in mind he probably had a headache. "I'm going to go make something in the kitchen, but I'll get a rag first. You can lay back down."

Even in his slightly delirious state, Sasuke Uchiha kept his dignity. He sighed, "Fine," before he lay down and threw an arm over his eyes.

She grunted and left for the bathroom. When she returned with a cold rag, he was already asleep again. Thoughtfully she wondered if he ever slept this well. Once he had hinted he didn't sleep well, because of nightmares.

Sakura turned back to the kitchen to make one of Tsunade's many recipes for various sicknesses. They all tasted bad. Amused, she wondered if Sasuke would even accept something that bad.

She waltzed in the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, pursing her lips. How many days had he been in this house? The food in the refrigerator didn't seem very diminished. She'd bought all that when he first moved. Malnutrition, too?

With a sigh Sakura turned away and started making the remedy. If she called it tea, she might get him to take a gulp...

Sakura entered his room again and paused, thinking of how people in general are all the same. Everyone have the same organs. Everyone bled. Everyone got sick and had the unanimous response of flopping around all day. Sasuke was on his stomach, face firmly planted in his pillow. She stopped at his side and nudged his shoulder. A vague mumble came through the pillow.

"Sasuke-kun," she started, sitting down and finally flipping him onto his back.

His eyes were clenched shut until he snapped them open to glare. Like most men, he evidently didn't like to be woman-handled.

"Drink this." She handed him the coffee mug expectantly.

His chest inflating in a well-timed sigh, he pushed himself up and propped his elbow on his knee. How someone managed to look entitled while they were sick in bed was a feat Sakura didn't understand. He took the cup from her and swallowed a large gulp.

A grimace twisted his features. "What is this?" he asked, sounding revolted; indignant, even.

"Hey, that's the product of my hard work. Drink it. It's not that bad," Sakura lied.

If he thought other people drank it all the way, maybe he would? Sure enough, he downed the rest in a single gulp and handed the offending container back to her.

Sakura set it on the table behind her. Pulling the chair out, she sat down and fixed a reprimanding glare on Sasuke. "You know this is your own fault. You have to take care of yourself. If you don't, who..."

She stopped and huffed. She couldn't say that. _She_ was here, taking care of him when he didn't.

"Put value in your health, okay?" she urged. "It's important. Otherwise, you won't live to be a sturdy, grumpy old man."

She received one half-hearted glare and a grunt.

"Fine," Sakura retorted, frowning. "You're getting a full check-up in four days. If I don't think you're taking care of yourself, you're going into hospital care."

* * *

Four days later. Back at the hospital. Again.

She walked down the white halls, turning this way and that. She had just talked to Naruto, who brought Sasuke in to get a check-up. Naruto was cheerful as always, making the day a little better with that great big smile of his and bone-crushing hugs. She made the last turn and pushed the doorknob down. Sasuke sat sideways on the examination table, looking peeved and sour. She pasted a smile on her face and leaned in front of him.

"Looks like you had fun."

He folded his arms across his chest and looked away. Sakura was only trying to lighten his mood; she had already looked over his results and he was fine. It wasn't as if Sasuke had a death wish, but he wasn't paying attention to his body. If he didn't feel well, he needed to say something before it got worse.

Naruto practically abused his rights to easy fixes and quick healing. Sasuke acted as if she weren't a medic at all.

"You're fine," she said, ignoring the way Sasuke snorted. He probably thought all this was unnecessary. "It's precaution. You haven't had many physicals in the past few years."

She was surprised when he nearly cut her off. "What happened at the meeting with the Elders? The idiot won't tell me."

Sasuke directed all of his focus on her; she had the distinct feeling he was well aware it intimidated people. His dark eyes locked on hers, she was determined not to fidget. She debated on telling him, but decided she might as well.

"They wanted to keep you under house arrest another month," Sakura explained.

Sasuke's mouth slipped into a impressive scowl.

She continued, "That didn't last long. You'll be released the day after tomorrow. It will be exactly twenty-five days until you can leave the village. But you'll have to accompanied by either me, Naruto, Kakashi, or Sai for a _long_ while."

He didn't look satisfied, she thought; she had expected him to be relieved. He sighed and looked out the window. "And who was the one to convince them? You?"

Sakura leaned against the corner table wordlessly.

With confidence Sasuke marked off the of Team 7: "Naruto's an idiot. Kakashi couldn't win the argument." And he left Sai out altogether.

Of course it was true she was the one who argued with them. Who else, though? Because of Tsunade, she was around politics all the time. Crossing her arms, Sakura stared at her feet. "So if it were one of them," she began, "you wouldn't have minded so much." She glanced up, but turned away from the silent intensity of his eyes, trying to hide her hurt.

He didn't say anything. It was a painfully loud _yes_ echoing in her ears.

She was getting tired of that feeling of rejection sinking down to her stomach. Why did she bother? Sakura thought. No matter how much she did, nothing really changed. And for an awful moment she thought of all the things Sasuke had done, and almost hated him...

Her ears pricked up at the rustling of clothes.

Sasuke stopped in front of her, eyes blazing with a sudden fierceness. "Don't help me, Sakura." He paused, and she felt his warm breath hit her forehead. "You shouldn't." He then marched out of the room, quick footfalls echoing loudly in the halls.

Sakura released the breath she'd been holding and tried to calm her hammering heart.

* * *

Hours later, Sakura leaned down on her hands and knees and looked under her couch. A scroll had rolled under it. She pressed herself flat onto her floor, reached and—

A knock pounded against the door. Popping her head over the couch, Sakura stood up and hurried to the door. People from the hospital just appeared in her house, and Kakashi was teaching a class. Sai should be with Sasuke. Naruto didn't usually bother with the door. Who could it be?

"Hi, Sakura-chan!" was the first thing to greet her as she opened the front door.

"Naruto, since when do you use the door?"

He grinned sheepishly. "I was just behind the building, and your window doesn't face that direction."

Rolling her eyes, Sakura ushered him in the door and enveloped him a light hug.

He made himself at home, of course, falling onto one of the counter chairs. He beamed at her and said, "It feels like I haven't seen you in a while, Sakura-chan. We need to get together." He rested his right hand on his leg, looking oddly official. She recognized the gesture from Jiraiya.

She leaned on her counter and shrugged. "Sure. But you probably just have a craving for some free ramen."

Naruto opened his mouth to defend himself, but just laughed. Then his eyes widened as if he just remembered something; he folded his arms on the table. "Hey, you remember Sasuke's off house arrest tomorrow, right?"

Sakura nodded. How could she forget?

"Well, I was thinking we could make him go out to eat with us." He raised his eyebrows and offered, "Would you be okay with that? We don't have to."

She couldn't help the smile on her face; Naruto had a knack for being attentive to other people. Sakura looked away and began, "Of course, I don't _mind_, Naruto. I don't know, it's just that..." She paused to fold her arms. "Everything is just different and completely the same."

What could he say to that? Naruto stayed silent and just smiled at her, true to his "everything will be alright" fashion. She shook her head and patted his hand once.

"I'm fine. I guess I'm just... tired. Really tired."

He stayed a while longer, asking her about the hospital and other things. An hour passed, then Naruto walked out the door. The house fell into the same silence.

Sakura rubbed at her eyes and ran a hand through her disheveled hair. She still needed to finish that scroll, too. Along with paperwork and patients and documents and laws and missing ninjas and dinners over ramen. And maybe just once, things could be right for a change.

* * *

Dusk. The sun shed its pink hues on the village, bleeding one house red at a time. She walked across the roof of the hospital and hopped onto the ledge. Bringing her knees up, she looped her arms around them and hid her face.

Sakura was sure she had never felt so drained. She was sure she had never had such a hellish day.

A new load of people came in the hospital, all bleeding and needing attention. Because a couple workers hadn't shown up, they were understaffed.

Patients, riding up on the capacity limit. Workers, understaffed. Paperwork, infinite.

She groaned and pressed her forehead into her knees farther, wanting to sink into something, to disappear for just a moment of peace.

But after taking care of the hospital, she had gotten a call from the Elders to come to the Hokage's Office. That wasn't what started the downhill process, it just sent the day plummeting downward.

She had figured it was about Sasuke's release, and they might have called her to give her some unnecessary warning since she was the one who scheduled the release date. That, however, was only part of it. It turned out that the hospital was behind in important paperwork. The Elders acted as if she didn't know that.

Sakura had scowled and answered that the hospital didn't have enough help, which made little difference to them. Tsunade interrupted when things started going in circles. (With a cringe, Sakura had studied the paleness of Tsunade's face, the wrinkles lining the skin around her eyes. She was tired, too. Thoughtfully Sakura had wondered when Tsunade-shinsou would step down...)

Because of her negligence, the Elders decided to assign her a week to finish the paperwork. She didn't even say anything. She just left, slamming one wing of Tsunade's double doors shut. Distinctly she remembered thinking, to hell with it.

Then she shook off her bad temper—storing it for later—and walked back to the hospital. Her responsibilities needed taking care of.

That left her here. Sakura's pounding headache subsided, and she lifted her head. Blinking open her eyes, she was startled at the suffocating blackness that met her. Staring again, she made out the silhouette of the buildings and looked down.

It was night.

Wasn't she supposed to meet everyone at Ichiraku's now? Stretching out her stiff legs, she let the appendages dangle over the ledge while she lay down. A frown graced her lips when she remembered no one could see the stars with so much lighting. She laced her fingers together over her stomach and sighed. The night breeze was cool on her face.

A thud landed next to her hair. Uncharacteristically stoic, she opened a single, lazy eye to peer at what made the noise. Her chakra was so drained, she didn't even recognize Sasuke's whirling, massive chakra signature. His eyes were as black as the air.

"Sakura. What are you doing?" His voice was low, rumbling.

There were quite a few answers she could give to that, but she decided he wouldn't be happy with any of them. And in the back of her mind, Sakura cursed his speed, because if he weren't so fast, someone else would be standing there. Someone who was so much easier to talk to.

She didn't bother to pick her head up as she finally replied, "What are _you_ doing here?"

Sasuke groaned, a very sincere sound coming from the bottom of his chest. It was a pointless, ineffective answer, but it was an answer. One that he obviously thought wasted his time.

Thinking he was about to say something, Sakura cut him off with, "I don't feel like talking, Sasuke." The name felt unfinished on her mouth, but because she was irritated, she left it at that. "So I'm not going to sit here and have a one-sided conversation with you."

What a terrible lie.

If she were any more herself, she might have wondered if she shouldn't have said that. He stayed silent before he gave a sharp exhale. Sasuke sat down, apparently giving up the hope of getting this done quickly, and propped his elbow on his bent leg.

"You're a terrible liar, Sakura."

Humorlessly she laughed. "One of my many impressive faults." If she had have looked up, she would've seen him quirk an eyebrow. "Oh," she murmured. "I forgot. Congratulations. On your newly found freedom."

Guilt started pricking at her train of thought. She hated being selfish around Sasuke because she always felt like he had... had so much of that already. Sourly she sat up and stared at the village.

"I don't think I've ever seen you so grumpy," Sasuke remarked.

Sakura looked at him askance and noticed a faintly amused smirk on his lips. She rubbed at her eyes and realized how horrid she must look. Sakura gave a pat to her hair to smooth it down. Sasuke, predictably, looked as he always did. Perfect.

"An interesting way to cheer someone up," Sakura eventually responded.

"Who said I was cheering you up?" Wrong thing to say. Sasuke noticed her instant mood change and quietly amended, "I mean—"

Not wanting to hear what he had to say, Sakura interrupted, "I know, you're just here because I'm late." Guilt landed a little heavier in her stomach; punctuality was typically important to her, but much more than that, she felt bad for standing up her team. She hadn't meant to, though.

"No," Sasuke said firmly, sounding vaguely annoyed at being interrupted. "Kakashi sent me to tell you it was canceled. The idiot had a mission come up with Sai."

Her mouth formed an _o_. Although she disliked being wrong, Sakura sighed in relief. She hated feeling guilty. She glanced over the village, watching as some of the lights flickered off, and waited for Sasuke to leave.

He didn't make any move to leave. Curiously Sakura looked over her shoulder at him. His eyes were closed.

"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura whispered. For a small, distant moment of weakness, she thought of how handsome had become while he was away.

Sasuke opened his eyes and looked at her, forehead furrowing in question.

"How are you doing?" she asked, without really registering what she was saying. Did she particularly have reason to be so concerned with his happiness? No, but she did think about it.

He let out a derisive snort, as if it was a ridiculous thing to ask. Maybe it was. "You're not in any shape to be asking that," Sasuke noted, looking rather sulky.

Her mouth twisted. "You might as well just say I look like hell."

Sasuke frowned, staring ahead of him. "I didn't _say_ you looked bad." He continued, "I mean _you_ don't care of yourself. Which is ridiculous considering how much you bother other people about it." He sent her an irritated scowl. "But you smile all the time, even when you can barely walk. It's annoying."

The insult came more as a painful, loving, and far away memory than an insult. She didn't know whether to feel happy or sad. And like most times when that happened, Sakura felt both.

"Some people need someone to smile at them," was all she said.

She could have said a lot of things. She supposed she didn't _have_ to do everything she did. But if she went back to part time at the hospital and took missions again, Sakura wondered who in the world would take over the hospital.

"Everyone needs something," Sasuke stated. "That doesn't mean they should get it."

She was surprised to hear him speak again. The statement sounded more personal than she would have expected from Sasuke.

She didn't answer right away. Sakura bit her lip before she replied, "I don't need Naruto visiting me every so often, just to smile at me and ask me how I am. But he likes to, and he knows I appreciate it. Sometimes you have something just because somebody wanted you to have it."

"And you want me to act like everything is just fine?" He lacked any resentment. His voice was quiet, questioning.

"No," she started, pensive. "No one thought that. Time changes things; that wasn't what we wanted... We just want... you to be able to live; preferably, with us. We missed you. And we're glad you're back. To be able to see you."

Instantly she felt Sasuke's eyes leave her face.

"Is it weird to think someone wants to see you, Sasuke-kun? After everything? Any time I helped you, it's because I wanted to."

Sakura licked her lips and wished he would say something. Did he not believe her? He'd been missed. Why else would they want him back? She'd missed him, his frowns and grumpy attitude. Missed hearing him and Naruto fight. Missed his eyes.

A smile lifted her lips; it had been a Sasuke-shaped hole in her and Naruto's life. One that Sai couldn't fix. One that training and hope or sake and work couldn't fix, either. He was a part of them, regardless of the past.

She waited for some sort of response. Sasuke had been gone for so long; it was strange to open up to him about... her feelings, she supposed. Their conversation had largely stayed on safe topics. Anxious, she wondered what he was thinking.

"Just go home, Sakura. Go to sleep."

Sasuke stood up and paused, as if he was going to say something. He didn't. He jumped off the roof onto another, disappearing toward his house and out of her sight.

* * *

a/n. i have two things to mention to my faithful readers!  
1) so a couple of you requested some more sai. i'll definitely keep it in mind, but i'll also tell you he won't be completely ignored or anything in the story. i have him written. :)  
2) the next chapter will be a tad shorter because GUESS WHAT. there's a time skip after that next chapter, which i'm excited about. like i've said before, i personally like the later chapters better.

okay, a BIG thank you to my fantastic reviewers whom i love very much: **SasuSakuisforalways, RinarinaXP, TigerLilyette, Autumn Misery, Appropriate Exclamation, MidniteCurse4Eternity, Lady Rini, darkangel261, Misery's-Toll, Kaze and Kiba, callmeclueless, zara dragon, Sakura's Indecision, Storms-winter**, and **ribbons-paws**.

and i simply must mention these two again: **Sakura's Indecision** and **Storms-winter**. your reviews are a joy to read. they truly made my day. :D

and lastly, i'm nearing the one hundred review mark. to _the future one hundredth reviewer_: you'll get a chapter dedication for your amazingness.


	7. Chapter 6

First thing in the morning, Sakura fell out of bed. While laying on the floor, she groaned, lifted her head, and smashed it on the open desk drawer beside her bed.

Clearly, Sakura thought, it was a good day already.

After rushing in the shower, skipping breakfast entirely, and running to the hospital, she made it to her office only to look at the gargantuan stacks of paperwork piled on her desk.

Throwing her lab coat off, Sakura marched around the edge of her desk and plopped into the black chair. She leaned on the desk and tapped her fingernails against the dark wood. To do or not to do?

What was with her recently? She certainly wasn't lazy, by any means. Or was she just getting more restless with all this sitting? When was the last time she'd punched something? Running a hand through her pink locks, Sakura thought how nice it would be to go on a mission. Or at least go train.

Slyly she looked at the paperwork and thought, what if she _didn't _do the paperwork and did go train? Then the deadline popped in her head and she rolled her eyes in annoyance. But what could the Elders actually do? It wasn't as if someone could take her place.

The Elder's orders were what made her so reluctant. Sakura knew very well the Elders were just sour; a rumor was going around that they might be done away with. The Council had been broken up years ago, after Lady Tsunade found out Danzou and his ROOT. But the remaining Council members still butted their heads into the politics of Konoha, arguing their right to do so as the Elders of the village.

Since their roles were technically not compromised by Danzou's exile, they won that argument. However, there was wind that that might change. Especially if a new Hokage was about to be named. A new Hokage like Naruto.

Tapping her fingers again, Sakura tried not to think, to worry. Politics was a pain. A reliable one, though, one easily predicted. The Elders would make an uproar if someone confronted them with the situation. A systematic overthrow would be needed, one that needed all the villagers to agree. An open rebellion. Political disputes did nothing. Angry mobs of villagers were much more effective, Sakura thought, amused.

She shook her head and looked back at the stack of paperwork. Then at the clock. No new patients had come in... If she worked for a couple of hours, she could take work off early.

* * *

Trees cracked under her fist, bark flying from the impact and leaving scratches on her face. Her chakra felt deliriously good as it flowed into her arms and legs.

How long _had_ she been stuffed up in some office? It felt like years.

Sakura aimed another kick and smiled at the series of trees that were wiped out. Was this the most effective way to train? Definitely not. Was it the most enjoyable for her? Yes. Endlessly she worked her way through the forest until her arms started to ache. She frowned because she was hardly ever sore from training like this. Perhaps she was trying to make up for too much lost time.

Stopping to take a breather, Sakura sat down and raggedly gulped in breaths of air, the back of her throat burning. With a cringe, she praised her earlier decision to train far away from the village. Someone was bound to eventually get on her about leveling parts of the forest. Distinctly Sakura remembered being told once—when she and Tsunade had gone on a 24 hour training session—that she lived in the Leaf Village. And that they needed trees to keep that title.

Her arms sagged with the amount of chakra she had expended, and she noticed how bloody her hands had become. Her gloves were in tatters.

Worry, strain, restlessness and frustration seemed a little less heavy on her shoulders, but more than anything, Sakura vaguely felt like screaming. On a whim, she leaned on all fours and screamed. Sweat trickled down her brow, then she sat back. Her legs felt like rubber. Her arms, too. Her hands throbbed.

It felt good.

Sakura stood up and thought of the years she and Tsunade trained, of the late and stuffy afternoons. Impulsively she fisted her hand and relished the feeling of earth breaking under her, as if she were actually powerful, as if she were actually capable of doing something. Boulders flew in every direction, plummeting into the ground and causing a domino effect. Sakura stood back and glimpsed at the fissure she left.

With a sigh Sakura flopped down beside one of the rocks she'd torn up. From here she couldn't quite see the forest line.

That was what she was doing when Sasuke dropped into the barren clearing. Everything was beige from the earth, and he made a startling contrast to the scenery. Clad in a dark blue shirt and medium gray ninja pants, he stopped directly in front of her.

Slightly panting, Sakura wiped the pink strands from her forehead and licked her lips to ask, "What are you doing here?" she asked.

Still studying the broken ground and the collapsed trees, Sasuke said with disinterest, "Naruto wanted to eat with everyone. He told me to find you at the hospital." He put some emphasis on the hospital, reminding her that she really shouldn't be here. Pausing, he murmured, "Maybe you should get a hobby," as he continued to eye the scratches, tears, and streaks of blood along the fallen trees.

Sakura snorted and moved to get up, nearly doubling over in surprise at her wobbling legs. A cold shiver of exhaustion shuddered through her body as she tried to regain her balance.

Sasuke's hand took her elbow and stayed there, keeping her from falling. The glare he fixed on her was disapproving. "That was stupid."

"I know." Sakura laughed. "I guess I don't get out much."

With her free arm, she smoothed out her skirt and straightened her shirt, then leaned over to fix her shorts. She felt messy and unprepared around him. Sasuke's scrutiny contributed to that.

"Sasuke-kun, what are you doing?" asked Sakura. Why was he still standing there?

"Just come on," was his answer. Sasuke kept his hand on her elbow and made a sign with his other. She'd blinked and when her eyes opened, she was staring at her empty apartment. Sasuke nudged her toward the kitchen. "Go fix yourself." He turned around and leaned against a blank space of the wall, arms folded.

Sakura walked off, miffed. Even if she did look bad, she told herself, he didn't have to be so blunt about it. When she stared into the mirror, Sakura realized he had meant something a little different. The scratches on her arms, face, and knuckles were angry and inflamed.

Sakura frowned at the way her knuckles throbbed. "Those were my last gloves, too," she griped under her breath.

Absently Sakura ran her hand down her arms and across her cheekbones, healing the shallow wounds. Taking a roll of wraps from a cabinet, she moved toward the bathroom by her room and spied on Sasuke in the living room.

It was nice having someone in the house. Empty houses creaked and groaned, cold and silent.

She rounded the corner to the bathroom and stopped. Peeking out the door, Sakura wondered if he would mind... She closed the door again and started up the shower, determined not to take long. Hurriedly she ignored the soothing heat and stepped out of the shower, dressed, and towel-dried her hair.

Barefoot, Sakura jogged to the kitchen and began wrapping her hands with medical tape. She couldn't see the clock, but she thought that she'd only taken about seven minutes. When she walked back into the living room, she spotted Sasuke in the same position.

"Sorry," Sakura apologized, not knowing whether or not they were already late.

Sasuke's eyes focused on her, and she nervously patted her slightly damp hair. He was acting... differently today. Her thoughts were sent back to what she had said to him yesterday.

"What?" she questioned.

The pad of his calloused fingertip brushed her cheekbone, right under a hairline scratch.

"Oh." She lifted her hand to touch it, wiping the wound away without a thought. "I'll just be another minute," she said.

He nodded and seemed satisfied that that was the only cut she missed. She walked back to her room and grabbed another pair of shoes. She stopped by the mirror, smoothing out any wrinkles on her baggy shorts. With a nod, she marched to the living room.

Her cheek still tingling from the healing chakra, she thought, he had nice hands.

* * *

The streetlights were bright against the black air when Naruto hollered from the stand. Kakashi sat with his orange book, offering a one-hand wave as Naruto rushed out of his seat, still slurping down his ramen.

"Sorry, I already ordered!"

Sakura laughed and followed him into Ichiraku's. Sasuke, she could feel, hesitated outside before he took a step forward and pushed the hanging cloth out of his face. He took the seat next to her, as he had once done, and sighed as if he were preparing himself for the rest of the night.

"Don't act like you actually mind." Sakura looked at him knowingly.

He didn't disagree.

After the orders were taken, Naruto pounded his fist on the table to call the attention from his team members. It also made everyone in the stand stare. "I propose a toast! To the first Team 7 reunion ramen dinner! Believe it!" He had a huge, happy grin on his face and Sakura smiled along with him.

There was only one thing that could make it better in her mind. She added considerately, "But Sai's not here."

Naruto scrunched his face up and jutted his lower lip out. Eventually he drawled, "Yeah, I guess it's too bad Sai couldn't be here. He _is_ in the group... But he's not a charter member, alright?" He finished with a boisterous laugh.

"So," Sakura began, breaking apart her chopsticks delicately. "What's everyone been up to?"

Naruto interrupted, "No, I wanna know what Sasuke's been up to! Oh, wait. _Nothing!_" He threw his head back, laughing once more.

"You would know about doing nothing, dead last."

Naruto sucked in an offended gasp and glared. "You wanna start something, huh? Huh?" Sasuke just ignored him, and Naruto fumed next to Sakura.

With Kakashi, Sakura shared a look. Nostalgia.

At length Naruto forgot about sulking—when his third bowl of ramen arrived, that is. He let out a whoop and dove in.

Wrinkling her nose, Sakura leaned away from Naruto as he attacked the soup and sent little splatters of broth onto the table. "That's pretty gross, Naruto."

Beside her, Sasuke made a sound that was similar to a small laugh, and she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.

Naruto, although wanting to defend himself, began to choke on the mass of food in his mouth. Sasuke snorted, and Sakura laughed at his reaction. The smirk remained on his lips, softening the tenseness around his eyes. When Kakashi's voice met her ears, Sakura drew her eyes away.

"Sakura. You know, I heard you were running the hospital."

Her train of thought crashed back to reality. Scratching the back of her neck, Sakura laughed without much humor. "Ah, yeah. I guess I am." It was obvious she wasn't thrilled about that.

Naruto had recovered from his choking, and he probed for details. "_Run _the hospital? What do you mean? Since _when_?"

Nobody ever accused Naruto of being overly observant, she noted. "Since a little before you left on that mission. So about half a year. Tsunade's too busy with Hokage business."

That didn't satisfy Naruto's curiosity. "But—but how much are you working? I thought you were just pulling double-shifts, but you _have_ to pull all those hours, don't you?"

"People don't die from nine to five, Naruto."

He ran his hand through his blond hair and frowned. "Don't you get tired of being at the hospital all the time? When was the last time you left the village?"

"About..." Oh, this was depressing. "A year ago. When I went to Sand for two weeks." It felt like a lifetime ago. It almost was.

"A year!" Naruto repeated, at a loss for words. Unlike herself, Naruto lived off missions; he always had several lined up.

Kakashi laid his hand on Naruto's shoulder and cut in. "It's good you're always so ready to help people. But you don't have to do everything, Sakura—"

Naruto interrupted Kakashi with an emphatic, "Your kindness is being abused, Sakura-chan!"

Sakura wished he wouldn't get so worked up. She knew she was doing a lot. "No one else is qualified," she explained. "Shizune and Tsunade are off-limits. I'm the only one who can."

"Of course you are," murmured Sasuke.

Sakura turned to look at him.

Sasuke raked his hand across the nape of his neck, then folded both hands on the counter top. "The teaching program is slow," he accused. "And there aren't many medics. If nothing changes, you're always going to be understaffed."

"Hm." Sakura stared at the opposite wall, entertaining an idea. "I'd need the funding for an expansion. I'd need clearance from Tsunade to get past the Elders." She paused and shifted her green eyes to Sasuke, staring at him as if he had the solution.

What to do?

Improvement took a long time, Sakura knew. But she actually felt something like hope in her chest when she thought about it.

The rest if the dinner went along the same lines. Kakashi and Naruto said goodbye, the latter crushing her with a welcomed hug.

Sakura flopped onto her bed that night, ears still echoing with the clinking and clattering of cups, the chatter surrounding the streets, Naruto's cheerful laughs, Sasuke's half-hearted insults, and the occasional low chuckle from Kakashi.

It was a nice sound. She hoped she'd hear it always.

* * *

a/n. man. i was hoping for a hundreth reviewer. ah well, maybe this chapter around. and to my _fantastical reviewers_ who make my day:

**Lady Rini, jolteonforever, Heaven's Cataract, shkh4ever, geniusgurl777, Sairalinde Inwe, Crystal Koneko, SasuSakuKawai, Misery's-Toll, Unknown, Charm caster, Sakura's Indecision, MidniteCurse4Eternity**, and **flare-hugs**.

three things i'll mention here. last chapter i forgot to mention a _specialspecialspecial_ reviewer that requested more kakashi. my dear **Misery's-Toll**, i'll keep it in mind. :D to the reviewers, have you read her awesome fic _Somebody_? i have. and it was GREAT. *heart*

lastly, the time skip is next chapter. (which i'm happy about.)


	8. Chapter 7

to my delightful reviewer #100, **shkh4ever**. (a round of applause)

* * *

A year later.

Still running the hospital. Still tired. Kakashi and Naruto and Sai were on a mission. They were on the same mission they've been on for the past six months. Six months, Sakura thought to herself miserably. Why couldn't her team stay home more? Her team... Were they her team any more? Within the past two years, they've been gone for nearly a year.

Uncharitably Sakura groaned and stuffed her head into her arms. Had she ever been so tired as she was right now? She didn't think so. Not ever. Her legs were burning, rubbery, and weak. Her arms ached; her muscles twitched with spasms; and her head was sporting its ever present headache.

Temples pounding, she clenched her eyes shut and focused on the nurses ambling down the halls, the scratches of a pen against paper, the quiet complaints of patients. It still hurt her ears.

ANBU had made a dazzling entrance in the hospital lobby six hours ago. Several didn't make it.

The sterile, vaguely rotting smells of the morgue were all Sakura could smell, and she desperately wanted to get up and leave. But everything hurt so much. She had come down here for the medical examiner's reports, but oh, how she was tired. So very tired...

Underground had no night or day. So when Sakura woke up to the underground morgue, bathed in flickering fluorescent light, she was bewildered and confused. Blearily, she blinked and rolled to her side.

Rolled? Sakura glanced down and stifled a dry laugh with a tired groan.

She had slept in the morgue. Having worked in Konoha's hospital for so long, it was more of a wonder to Sakura that she had never done it before. Although her thoughts were scattered and faint, she thanked her co-workers for not pushing the slab in, mistaking her for dead.

What woke her up, though? Had someone... nudged her?

With a frown Sakura squinted and looked to the left, behind her. Something black and firm and solid nearly touched her nose.

"...You're so pathetic, Sakura."

Half awake, Sakura had enough mind to be offended. Mutely, she glared in Sasuke's general direction and lay back down on the cold metal, pillowing her head with her arm, completely intending to fall back asleep—morgue be damned.

His hands shortly registered themselves on her arms, pulling her up; and vertigo hit her in a wave of nausea. A _strong_ wave of nausea. Pushing him away was her top priority. It was the only thing she had time to do before she emptied her stomach of its few contents onto the floor of the morgue. Oddly her first thought was for the poor janitor.

Distinctly Sakura could hear a displeased sigh over her breathless pants. A sharp pain shot up the back of her neck, and white light flashed in front of the gray floor in dizzying patterns. As she clasped her hand at the back of her stinging neck, she heard a grunt and felt arms around her sides, then around her knees, and then felt Sasuke's chest against her face.

"Sorry," she murmured, not quiet tired enough to be unembarrassed.

She didn't think he said anything, but she wasn't sure. His arms cradled her against his chest, and it was warm. Before Sasuke left the morgue, she was already lost in sleep.

* * *

Truthfully, Sakura shouldn't have been so startled when she woke up in Sasuke's bed.

It wasn't the first time she had been in Sasuke's bed, for one. Because Sasuke's apartment was a little closer to the Hokage Tower and to the hospital, sometimes she would crash at his place. Normally he was on a mission, and it wasn't a problem. She usually didn't even mention to Sasuke that she slept over at his house.

But she was inexplicably startled when she awoke from a hot, unpleasant, painful sleep. Something was behind her, she knew. What, however, was the question.

The bed creaked and groaned in response to her as she jerked forward and positioned herself into a defensive stance. The sudden motion made the nausea return, violently strong. The sensation nearly sent her to her knees.

"Calm down," Sasuke ordered, his voice gruff, heavy.

Familiarity sucked out the adrenaline. The energy that her muscles momentarily had felt vanished. Sakura wearily sagged back into the bed. "Mmm," she hummed, rolling over in the sheets and sighing in pained delight. Sasuke's body was close enough to hers that she could feel the heat from his body, could feel the heat of the sheets around him.

With a groan Sakura tugged his side of the sheets to her chest, hugging them tightly. She heard a faint sound of complaint coming from Sasuke, but she couldn't make herself care.

The mattress dipped strangely. She wasn't used to sharing a bed with someone, and the mattress's response to weight was foreign. Opening her eyes, Sakura stared, unfocused, at a sleepy Sasuke, who couldn't have been any more awake than she was.

Something about him made her stop. How had she not noticed he was in mission clothes? He was still in them. He must have gotten in late. But why was he at the morgue, though? He couldn't have been looking for _her_. He was probably injured, then.

She skimmed a finger down the length of his jaw, erasing a cut from his alabaster skin. Sasuke groaned softly in response, and in her dreamlike state, Sakura leaned downward still, watching the soft lines around his eyes relax and disappear. She focused more chakra into her fingertip, ran it down his jaw again, and healed another scratch. She watched his reaction—his lips parting as he leaned into her touch.

His eyes opened and she felt scorched. For one unmistakable moment, she felt trapped under his hooded gaze, utterly captured and guilty. He only observed her with careful study before stretching his neck to see the clock on the nightstand.

She hadn't moved yet. The idea hadn't crossed her mind. Half-lying on Sasuke's chest seemed to be at the back of her mind. But she was so comfortable. And so tired, too. The headache began to resurface and her head dipped forward pathetically. Sasuke's shoulder was soft and comforting against her headache; she only wished for something cold, though. How it felt like it was burning...

His fingers were in her hair, she realized. How long had they been there? The pads of his fingertips traced circles at the nape of her neck, sending a shuddering chill up her spine. That feels wonderful, she thought to herself.

Did she just say that aloud?

"Sakura." His voice reminded her of melted chocolate. Melted chocolate... Why was she so hungry?

Then her mind went blank, as blank as if someone had turned off all the lights. That white light was in front of her again, hazy and blurred. For an awful second, she couldn't recall anything—where she was, what she was doing, why she was—

Sasuke was suddenly laughing. She could tell because she could feel his chest shake under her fingers. Why was he...? Had she just said something?

"Hm?" Sakura replied, muffled by his shoulder, quiet from sleep, and hoarse from something so burning. _Why_ was she so hot?

"You need to sit up and take some medicine."

The short, laughing comment made her unreasonably aggravated. As a medic, she knew this. Sakura murmured a string of unintelligible things; Sasuke could only guess that they were all equally vulgar and unhappy.

"Come on," he persuaded softly. His breath fanned right behind her ear and it distracted her, muddling her thoughts, so that she couldn't answer at all.

Sasuke didn't think he needed an answer, she supposed, as he flipped her on her side and eased out from under her. His knee pressed into the mattress when he stood up and slid his arm around her back, bringing her into a sitting position.

With reluctance Sakura blinked her eyes open and stared at the gray light of morning that filtered through his windows. She made an effort to wear her best frown. Sasuke's hands were placed on both of her calves, and she jolted slightly, more awake from that. He tugged her to the end of the bed and set his hands on the back of her shoulders. He pulled her up and Sakura snorted, too delirious to appreciate his gentleness. He was treating her like an invalid! She contemptuously thought to herself.

Finally on her feet, Sakura regained her balance and some of her thought process; some of the blurriness went away as she woke up. Sasuke began to claim her elbow and shepherd her to the kitchen, but she scowled and revolted. "I'm fine!" Sakura grumped, snatching her arm out of his hold.

There was a pregnant pause. Then Sasuke snorted, the sound very short and bemused. "I never thought of you as proud..." he said, voice growing softer and softer as he wandered out of the room.

Frowning, Sakura shrugged a blanket onto her shoulders and shuffled into the kitchen. She set about making tea. The water boiled happily, and Sakura stood over the stove top, letting the steam rise to her face, cherishing the warmth. It was awful: she was cold and hot and freezing and burning all at the same time.

She wrapped the blanket tighter around her, so tight her shoulders trembled.

Sasuke was tinkering with something in the other room, and she couldn't help but wonder what he was doing.

Oh, wait, Sakura thought, with sudden understanding. Her head hurt so badly she could scarcely remember what she was doing five minutes ago. But something told her that it was admiring Sasuke or doing something terribly, obviously embarrassing. Was he awake when she was... touching his face? She couldn't remember.

The tea was hot in her hands. And she felt so cold. Blisteringly cold. But wasn't she just... hot? Or...?

Sasuke was behind her. Why hadn't she heard him? "...Sakura...?" he said, turning her around to face him. His tone was confused, distant, and faint to her ears, but a pounding took up her attention. Something throbbing and beating and loud. Drums. It echoed in her head and swiftly her fingers were cold again. A crash, a clattering, took her by surprise, and... did she just drop the tea?

What was wrong with her? Sakura groaned in frustration and felt her weight break her knees and unconsciousness swoop down with one fell sweep.

* * *

For three days she was in a coma.

That was the start of Sasuke's hawkish twitch, to constantly be wary of her health. Of her decisions. Of her schedule. Of her work. Of her eating habits. Of her, in general. As if she couldn't take care of herself in the slightest. But she felt guilty for not appreciating it. He was her only teammate in Konoha. She should be happy he paid attention to her...

It was all so weird. She and Sasuke were used to each other, yes. Only because everyone else in Team 7 had left Konoha. But this—this unsettling attention—confused her.

Sasuke loomed in her entryway. She made a point of rolling her eyes.

"Oh, look. I'm alive. Amazing." Throwing her cloak into the sink, Sakura carefully ignored his presence, in favor of routine. Lemon was sour and pungent on her hands, and she made a beeline for her room, away from the sickly sweet odor of lemons and blood. Was there blood on her hands? Always. Was there blood on her face? She couldn't remember.

She unzipped the front of her shirt and heard the creaking of her door. Sasuke leaned against her doorway; she could hear the wood groan softly at his weight. Shedding her shirt, she tossed it on her bed and frowned.

"Isn't this a little rude?" Sakura asked flatly, yanking a baggy shirt over her head. She shut her eyes from the streetlights and prayed for sleep without any dreams.

Sasuke's voice reached her ears, deep, rumbling, and curious. Morbid. "You have blood on your back. Your hands."

She paused in silence and toed off her boots. "Don't I always?"

She began to be distracted by a remorseful silence. One that reminded her how much she loved and hated her life. She was so useful. So _useful._ She should be ecstatic, but she couldn't quite find the energy for that. Sakura was absurdly aware, too, of Sasuke as she ripped off her skirt. She opted to leave the biker shorts on, shied away from his body, and moved toward her bed.

Her feet felt like lead. So heavy. Sakura plopped onto her bed and folded her legs Indian style, observing Sasuke as he stood still and silent in her doorway. "Yes?" she asked coolly, while her heart traitorously thumped against her ribs.

Predictably, he shook his head, quiet as he stared for another moment. Then he disappeared.

* * *

Patient 354 had a stroke. Plenty of people in the hospital had a stroke every day, but Patient 354 topped the rest.

Her pen scratching the parchment, Sakura sighed, eyes scanning left to right, left to right. Signature here, check here, refusal here, background here—paperwork was one of those burdens that were readily supplied. Sakura told herself she should be used to it; she did Tsunade's when she was an apprentice. This should be no problem.

But like all the other times Sakura told herself something, nothing changed. Paperwork was still paperwork. And Sasuke was still Sasuke.

"Are you going to stand there all night?" Sakura asked, not looking up from the stack under her hands, studiously ignoring him as best as she could. As much as she was trying to hide it, Sakura was mildly surprised at his appearance. He usually persuaded her to go home when he got back from a mission, if she was working late. Obscenely late. But he was never quite this early, never this watchful...

Sasuke answered her question with his typical relaxed, confident tone. "No."

She raised her eyebrow at that. "So are you going to go home now?"

"With you, yes."

Her pen paused above the signature line. A frown gracing her lips, Sakura glanced up at Sasuke as he eyed her from the door. He had a blank expression carefully laid out on his face, perfectly void of a frown, a smirk, an anything. "Then you'll be standing there for a few hours."

"Sakura," he began, sounding endlessly patient. "It's only been a week since you were in a coma." His eyes were telling her to take it easy, and his voice was persuading.

Her mouth fell into a grim line, wondering why she couldn't just leave, sleep. But all she had to do was look down. Damn it all, she thought to herself. She had business to take care of; she couldn't leave yet!

"I've got to finish this, Sasuke-kun," she intoned, unhappily studying her paperwork.

Sasuke remained silent, but the peculiar look on his face seemed like an "Oh, really?" to Sakura. He stood in front of her thick, cherry wood desk and leaned forward, a haughty look in his eye. Promptly, Sakura felt the pull of a transportation jutsu, followed by the pull of a sleep jutsu.

There's no fighting with Sasuke, Sakura silently mused as she slipped into a false slumber.

* * *

Sleep that night was numb, dreamless. When she awoke the next morning, Sakura licked her lips, which were dry from sleep. Lazily she blinked until her eyes adjusted to the light coming from her bathroom. There wasn't any light from the windows yet.

Her job had made her immune to time. Sakura used to be able to wake up at any point and could sense the time of day. Now, morning and night didn't mean much. When night rolled around, her body didn't even groan or complain that she stayed up working. Morning didn't tell her to get up, to start the day.

Time was relative. It relied and depended on the hospital only. Solely on the hospital.

So when Sakura blinked herself awake, she didn't have the slightest clue what the time was. She grunted, sat up in her bed, and stared at the alarm clock on her dresser. Four o' clock in the morning.

Maybe it was her ninja senses, but something drew Sakura's attention to her feet. Which were stiflingly hot.

Puzzled and only half-awake, Sakura stared at the lumps in her comforter for several moments. Her eyes traced the lumps and eventually stopped, lingering over Sasuke's face on the opposite side of the bed. After another moment, she remembered the day before and figured he just stayed at her house, instead of going home. And that made sense enough.

It didn't stop the nervous, churning sensation in her stomach or the light-headed feeling that took her by force.

Stop it, she berated herself, shaking her head.

Sasuke grumbled in his sleep. "Sakura, go back to sleep," he commanded, his voice no louder than a whisper. He twitched and rolled over, facing her, keeping his eyes shut the whole while. But he doesn't look perfectly asleep, Sakura observed. She had a vague feeling that if she tried to get up, he wouldn't let her. Maybe that's another reason he stayed...?

Sakura sucked in a breath and laid back down slowly, careful not to budge his side of the bed. Sasuke's breathing slowed down peacefully, and Sakura shifted where she lay. Within minutes she fell asleep once more, and she didn't want to think why that was so easy.

A few hours later, Sakura woke up, instantly staring at the Sasuke-shaped depression in her bed.

* * *

a/n. the first chapter i've been late on! (i confess, i forgot to update yesterday. i was out buying a dress for a banquet.) thankyouthankyouthankyou to these wonderfulfantastic reviewers:

**SasuSakuKawai, Misery's-Toll **(i thoroughly enjoyed your story-review, lol),** Kaze and Kiba, shkh4ever, GoonieLove, TrueHeartsGlow, Kenzie, Crystal Koneko, withloveagain, Sairalinde Inwe, Lady Rini, Hazel, callmeclueless, Ai, Sakura's Indecision, Alive In Wonderland, Bloody X Blossom X Butterfly, MidniteCurse4Eternity, starsandstuff, Sakura Haruno...CHA!, Unknown**, and **Charm Caster**.

to **Sakura's Indecision**: hm, a sasuke pov chapter? i'll definitely think about it. :)

for the holes of what happened during the time skip—worry not, my dear reviewers. time will tell. now review! because i'm excited to know what you think! :D and i thank you all again for reviewing. it's really encouraging when such a good amount of people review weekly. honestly, it is. *heart*


	9. Sasuke

a/n: (this takes place during the latter half of the time skip.)

* * *

Divergence: Sasuke.

* * *

The night was cold. The Hokage's Tower gleamed against the night sky, overshadowing the small apartment complex beneath it. Sasuke stooped on top of a house and jumped down to the front door. The apartments were all silent, still. He was one of the few ninja who boarded there.

Sasuke stalked up the steps, one hand clutching his shoulder. The wound had closed up, and the blood had dried, but the pain did not go away so easily. When he reached his apartment, he twisted the door knob, opened and closed the door. Sasuke stood in the seclusion of his own apartment, away from the rambling drunks on Fifth Street and far away from the screeching iron, which had hailed all over the west forest.

Passing one hand through his hair, Sasuke strode into his living room. He disarmed himself, starting with the tight wrap around his leg. As he set down a final clump of senbon, he stared into the hallway. One civilian crept along the paths outside his window; three ninja ran along the roofs; but there was another sound. An inhale; an exhale.

The presence didn't trigger his Sharingan. Closing his eyes, Sasuke focused on the faint chakra—as faint as the dimming burn of a match, whose edges glow but a weak blue—and he knew who it was. He stole down the hallway, steps perfectly silent, and peered at his bed.

Short pink hairs splayed over his pillows. Sakura's chest rose and fell peacefully. Sasuke guessed she had only been asleep for an hour or two; and it was already half past five in the morning. He shook his head (what a stupid girl, he thought) and entered his room.

Sakura stirred, but made no other move. "Hey, Sasuke-kun," she mumbled, sleepiness pervading her every word. She rolled to her right and fell silent.

Sasuke rubbed at his forehead. Against his desk he leaned, mouth pulled into a frown as he thought. The border was getting stronger, Sasuke appraised. In the last two weeks there was an decrease in activity, and there were fewer sightings...

Arms crossed, he looked at Sakura. But shouldn't that mean there was less work at the hospital, if fewer people were being injured? But sometimes it seemed like there was no changing Sakura. She worked relentlessly, and for what Sasuke couldn't imagine. People worked to make a living, to survive, but she... That wasn't how she worked.

The sky was dark, and the moon bright, but Sasuke knew the sun would be rising soon. His legs were tired; the mission had been taxing; his shoulder throbbed; but he couldn't make himself lay down. His mind was preoccupied, restless. But that had always been Sasuke's problem—thinking too much.

Sakura made a sound in her sleep, and Sasuke's eyes were drawn to her. At her innocent expression, strangely free of her customary worry and stress, he thought of Naruto's previous threat. The memory remained oddly clear.

Naruto's serious face. "Make sure nothing happens to her, Sasuke," he had said. "If you don't, I'll know when I come back. And I'll beat your ass, too!"

The protectiveness in his words was perplexing. Idly Sasuke had stood in front of him, still unable to understand how things had changed so fully since he had left. "Why?" he'd asked. "Worried for your medic?"

Naruto, after all, never checked himself for asking favors of Sakura, no matter how tired, no matter how busy she was.

With a tight, constrained smile Naruto had shook his head. "Sakura is more than just a medic, Sasuke. People like Kabuto can be medics. Sakura," he had paused with decision, "is an angel. She didn't have to learn how to heal. She always knew."

Naruto's thoughts still running through his mind, Sasuke reached out one hand. He touched Sakura's face, with hands that had just, not two hours ago, snapped a man's neck.

The immediateness of her response, even in sleep, surprised him. Sakura felt his skin and turned toward him. "What have you been doing?" came her tired whisper.

Sasuke, although he had no reason to, censored his feelings. Around her, he felt it inappropriate to say he had been killing, _healer_that she was. "Hurting," Sasuke replied.

Sakura's bright green eyes opened to moonlight for only moment, before shutting themselves out of his view. She pulled in a deep breath, murmuring, "Yourself or an enemy?"

Her muscles became limp once more, and for that Sasuke was grateful. He hadn't meant his answer that way, but her question brought a wave of emotion, that he didn't want to deal with. Remorse had evolved into a sort of companion; he found himself slipping into that... breathing it.

When the dull soreness in his legs morphed into an active throb, Sasuke straightened and walked to the other side of his bed. As he toed off his shoes, he pushed aside the covers. When he lay down, Sakura mumbled something unintelligible. Sasuke remained on his back, taking care of his injured shoulder, and listened to her faint murmurs, which ever revolved around her team, the hospital, and her mentor.

* * *

The sun was directly above, hot and beating against the roofs and streets. Sasuke woke up in a sweat. He threw the sheets off his legs and huffed, panting desperate, dry breaths. Sakura's absence was among the first things he noticed. A paper was left in her wake, which held the neat script he had become accustomed to.

"Sorry for using your apartment, Sasuke-kun; I hope you didn't mind. I left food in the kitchen for you," were the words stroked across the white note. Her letters were neat, as they always were, but the end was large, as if she had been in a hurry. For what, Sasuke again could not imagine. Wasn't she just practically at the hospital? Why did she feel so compelled to be there, every hour of the day?

Sasuke sometimes asked himself those questions, fleetingly, scornfully, but he knew the answer. Although he hated to admit it, Sakura bore a tremendous burden, whose weight, he knew, was often too much for her. Sasuke was neither blind to her responsibility nor to the the faith everyone had in her—her talent no one denied. He thought she was fickle, reckless, and headstrong; he thought all of those things, but not because she lacked ability.

Sakura was heedlessly self-sacrificial. And for what? thought Sasuke. What was the purpose in that? Sakura's behavior was a constant puzzle. He didn't understand what satisfaction she could derive from the life she lived. He didn't understand why she chose to do the things she did, when she had nothing that bound her to responsibility.

Sasuke understood Naruto. His decisions made sense; he had a path, a purpose. Kakashi made sense. His past drove him. Sakura, however, needlessly put herself through pain.

Sasuke couldn't think of a single instance she had belittled him, condemned him. If their roles were reversed, Sasuke knew what he would do. What he _wouldn't _do was smile and cook her food, offer to heal her, get her an apartment, and drive himself half-crazy trying to look after her, when she had done nothing to earn it. And Sasuke knew, better than anything, what he deserved.

He wondered why she tried to content herself with work, when all it gave her were dreamless nights, exhaustion, and an empty sense of satisfaction.

Shaking his head, Sasuke stood up. When he wandered into his kitchen, he spotted a carefully arrayed meal and scoffed. It was when he sat down and began eating that he realized she, too, had healed his shoulder.

* * *

Sasuke passed through the streets, hands stuffed into his pockets and his eyes trained on everything but faces. Villagers, some but not all, looked his away, quickly averted their gaze, and leaned down to their partner. Their whispers found their way to his ears. Sasuke dismissed them, but had heard the rumors and contemptuous opinions so often that they had long been ingrained in his mind.

It was evening again. Sasuke had completed another mission, as was his daily routine, and found himself void of distraction. The mission had been easy and short. It was but quarter until seven, and he had nothing to do. Feeling particularly morose, Sasuke headed toward the one place he could think of.

The faces, the windows, of the hospital all beamed at him with sterilized, fluorescent eyes. The steps, well worn, welcomed him. The receptionist did not hesitate in her welcome, either, for he was a common visitor.

Sakura's chakra was still faint, but not as faint as the previous night. He could feel her on the third floor, but he did not bother her. Even if he tried, Sasuke wouldn't succeed in dragging her away from the hospital so early. With a surly expression he warded off unwanted conversation. He made his trek to her office swiftly and closed the door upon entering. Her office was cool, isolated. It smelled like her, because that was what Sakura smelt like—light like vanilla, and recently tinged with the metallic odor of blood.

Sitting in her chair, Sasuke thoughtlessly rotated the office chair a few times. Everything was hushed in here, and it was colder, too, in this office than in the stuffy, crowded streets. He enjoyed the seclusion of this part of the hospital, as if the relativeness emptiness could actually clear his mind into a similar state.

He dozed, to his surprise.

When Sasuke awoke, the images of his dream—his deceased family, the manor he had once dreamed would be his (the wish seemed so ironic to him now), Team 7, Sound, and the scores of battles which had been fought without meaning—mixed with a simple view of Sakura. She stood in her lab coat, a brown clipboard perched in her thin, alabaster fingertips.

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura breathed.

The relief that came with his name elicited his frown. Her freely-given trust sickened him some days. His stomach turned, because he wondered if she knew half the things he had done, whether or not she would fall asleep around him so quickly, and whether or not she would be so happy to see him. Perhaps what sickened him most of all was that Sakura _did_ know. And she would continue to do all those things.

Because she had grown immune to his moods, Sakura could ignore the frown which marked his mouth. "How is your shoulder?"

"Perfect."

Sakura's kindness never faltered at his sarcasm. One thing he had learned about Sakura was that she could never give him a certain something: apathy. Apathy was what he longed to see from her on days like these, but Sakura couldn't seem to do it. She combated his recalcitrance with more benevolence. Her heart swelled, and for what purpose he didn't understand...

Into a complacent attitude Sakura momentarily escaped. She set down her papers and flipped through them one at a time. From his station he surveyed her documents, hardly able to understand more than a sentence on each. His pride, of course, prevented him from ever mentioning something of the sort, lest she should take it as a compliment. And compliments, everyone knew, were just a way of admitting inferiority.

At Sakura's sigh, however, Sasuke reevaluated that sentiment. At her constant strive to prove herself—that was the only reason Sasuke could invent for her work—he softened. Sasuke could never express in words his understanding, but he _did_ understand. The many nights he had strove to impress his father, and failed, could be recalled without effort. Those childish yearnings marred his pride, and he looked back on them with mortification.

Sakura's sudden movement drew Sasuke out of his thoughts.

"Have I ever told you that you stare?" she wondered aloud. Her voice, although still the same crisp tone, had altered since her younger years. Now it was kinder, stronger and fatigued.

Sakura, not waiting for a response, continued, "But I suppose _stare _is poorly chosen word. It implies something more much vacant than yours, Sasuke-kun."

And Sasuke had been watching her; he didn't realize it until she said so. He had been staring at her clothes, which were remarkably unwrinkled, and at the circuitous trail of blood along her right forearm. The blood was in tiny patters, as if Sakura had bled through her pores. Out of habit, Sasuke had eyed the way her hips leaned against the desk—for support, he assumed—and pondered on the well-stitched seam on the inside of her pale thigh.

Sakura ran a hand through her hair. She shook her head, as if dismissing whatever she was thinking. "Do you want to get a drink?" she asked, in that softly wondering tone.

Sasuke merely nodded. He was not sure what was better, working or drinking, but he thought he preferred _one _drink to four hours of work. When they set out, Sasuke determined she would have just _one_.

The stars shone above them, but not half as bright as they would away from the glowing streetlights. Sakura, he knew, was thinking the same thing as she looked up and twisted her mouth. Her white, delicate neck craned upward; her short hair tickled her neck; then she faced the streets again, the flash of wistfulness gone and replaced with hardened strength.

Sasuke had learned he was not the only one who had been forced to grow up. All of Team 7... had suffered because of him.

The streets were not crowded, but Sasuke could still hear the whispers. This time the gossip was of the two of them. Sasuke felt burning hatred in his chest, which he longed to quench, but couldn't. Violence... was not Konoha's ninja way.

The woman beside him, however, was either perfectly indifferent or unaware. Because Sakura (he had observed) was hardly in tune with the world, he was more readily convinced of her ignorance. But when Sasuke thought more, he could almost believe that Sakura really did notice the traitorous murmurs. Perhaps when all of Team 7 had left her, she had just become accustomed.

A certain stand came into their view. When Sakura sat down at a long wooden counter, she ordered her typical drink. Sasuke declined the worker's persuading, "And what can I get you?"

The two were silent until Sakura began, "Why did you come, Sasuke-kun, if you weren't going to get anything?"

"Because you asked."

Sakura smiled. He wondered if it was simply from courtesy or from insight into what he had implied. He was inclined to think it was the latter.

After a pause, Sasuke asked her a question. She was so startled by his conversation that he had to repeat himself. "How are your students?" Sasuke reiterated. He called the medic students _hers_, although she did not teach them.

Sakura set down her drink. "They're getting better every day. It's just a long process..."

The process, which had been Sasuke's own idea, was much longer than he had anticipated. Sasuke had not known how hard it would be, or how long suffering Sakura would need to be. To train more medics, Sakura had lost a few nurses. Now more understaffed than ever, she was waiting for her sacrifice finally to pay off.

Sasuke stared at her cup, around which were wrapped even whiter fingers. "How much longer until they can help in the hospital?"

"For the best ones, a few more months." Sakura tucked a pink bang behind her ear. "Patience," she whispered.

Patience, Sasuke thought with irony. Sakura had exercised enough patience.

Sakura began to ramble soon, although it was not from alcohol, for he persuaded her not to order again. She talked about the hospital, Tsunade, and a patient or two. During her speech, she brought up Naruto. A smile, full of a tenderness that made Sasuke look away, grew on her soft pink lips when she mentioned him. A flash of fire, of life, burned in her eyes.

"He might come home soon," Sakura murmured, almost to herself.

Her expression and speech when she talked of Team 7 gave Sasuke some idea of how she had acted when he was gone. The longing (the mixed hope and despair) was so potent it brought to remembrance those first years after his family's death. Sakura, more than anyone, stirred up his familial memories. Why, he hadn't found out yet. What he did feel, distinctly, was a binding empathy.

"I miss them all so much." Sakura took another sip of her drink, and Sasuke knew he wasn't imagining the slight sheen over her eyes. "It feels like I've spent more time away from them than with them." Sakura seemed to realize the full honesty in what she'd just confessed and shook her head. "At least it shouldn't be much longer... until they're all back."

The look which came into Sakura's eyes transfixed Sasuke. Her words, coupled with the sorrow, made him wonder if she was waiting for him, too, to come back.

Under Konoha's stars, surrounded by distrustful eyes but faceless persons, Sasuke was aware that Sakura was the thread he held onto—the thread which was drawing tight, and raveling...

* * *

a/n. this chapter was added to _Variance_ solely because of my reviewers. i wrote it just this week, and i have to say, the idea grew on me! in fact, i'm thinking about two more sasuke 'divergences' (as i called it). so reviews do make a difference! feel free to ask for things. and now for my BIG thanks:

**TrueHeartsGlow, shkh4ever, jolteonforever, zara dragon, Sairalinde Inwe, Lady Rini, SasuSakuKawai, Unknown, Misery's-Toll, Charm Caster, Fonnin, Anonymous Reader, Storms-winter, drgn, Sakura Haruno . . . CHA!, zingyo heart, cutecookiechick, Dictionary Ink, Bone-Conjurer, Kaze and Kiba, Queen-Cocaine, Sakura's Indecision, MidniteCurse4Eternity, J-Cut**, and **17child-of-the-moon17**.

i'm glad so many people are enjoying this. because _Variance_ is exactly how i like to think of sasuke and sakura in the future. since kishimoto makes ninja teams really close, i like to write the two with a sense of understanding or familiarity. sasuke and sakura, in this, are more than just potential 'lovers'; they're _teammates_. which is part of the reason i find the couple so appealing.

OK. i'm done. :D please review!


	10. Chapter 8

A few days later.

"Hey," Sakura greeted, pausing in the doorway to her office.

Sasuke nodded a dull greeting in return, but directly returned his attention to the book in his lap. Sakura shifted in the doorway before moving toward her desk. A puzzled frown settled on her pink lips. The gold lettering on the front of the book caught her attention, and her forehead furrowed as she tried to read it...

Damn. Her mouth twisted into a deeper frown, and she reached over her desk to grab the book. Sasuke didn't spare her a glance as he pulled the book closer to him and spun around in her chair.

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura began, patronizingly disapproving. "Why are you going through the medical books?"

"I'm not 'going through the medical books,'" he replied, indignant.

"Oh?" She moved around her chair to face him. "Then what _are_ you doing?"

Sasuke, not looking from his page, answered smoothly, "Reading your book."

The initial distress Sakura felt surprised her. The book was not only hers, but _hers. Sakura Haruno _was written in small, silver letters under the title, and as many times as she had seen the book, she never expected to see it in Sasuke's hands, as he sat in her office.

The book was just one of the many books published about the effects, theories, and behavior of chakra. Tsunade had published it without her knowing it. She hadn't minded at the time...

"I can see that," Sakura answered lamely. Seeing him read her unpolished notes made her unreasonably self-conscious. The book was put together from her notes—notes that she had written for one patient in particular. She had written them in a few weeks. Now, Sakura thought sadly, she couldn't even remember all that was in them. It had been so long.

She shifted to her left foot. "How long have you been in here?"

He was silent for another moment, presumably finishing whatever sentence he was reading. "A couple of hours."

And he'd read about one third of the book already. He probably isn't very impressed, Sakura surmised, if he's able to read it that quickly. She did, however, take comfort in that he wasn't bored out of his mind. In fact, he was king of ignoring her!

"Oh," she murmured. "...What are you reading now...?"

Sasuke finally looked up and frowned, decidedly displeased. "Sakura." He said her name like it was a put-down.

Glancing out of the opposite window, Sakura folded her arms across her chest. "It's _my_ book, Sasuke-kun. What _are_ you reading?" Curiosity might actually have killed the cat, Sakura thought to herself as Sasuke shot another disgruntled look at her.

He softly huffed, "Chapter 5: Chakra Flow." Then Sasuke grumped, "Do you always interrupt people this much?"

Sakura opened her mouth to answer, but immediately lost her words. She set her hands on her hips and walked around her desk, back towards the door. "Well, fine. _Excuse_ me!" With one last glance at Sasuke, she waltzed out of her office, feeling both frustrated and strangely pleased.

The next morning, Sakura was sifting through the books on her shelves and couldn't for her life find her own book. It was missing.

Two days later, Sasuke was sent on a mission. Because of a double-shift at the hospital, Sakura unlocked the door of Sasuke's apartment and immediately fell on top of his bed. When she woke up, she spotted a certain book with gold and silver letters, tucked safely in his bookcase.

* * *

"Lady Tsunade." Sakura smiled, then bowed. "How are you feeling?"

Although her master was stern woman, Tsunade softened. Sakura's smile was gently probing, and concern was one of the few weaknesses Tsunade had. "I'm doing fine, Sakura," she said, as she reached down into one spacious drawer.

Sakura eyed the circles under Tsunade's eyes, but did not comment. Something akin to pain blossomed in her chest, because she knew her Hokage's strength was waning. She knew it well. "That's good to hear," said Sakura. "What did you need me for, Tsunade-sama?"

"A patient's coming." Tsunade straightened at her desk, finally bringing a scroll with her. "This is for you."

Sakura took the scroll; she fingered the edges as she queried, "What kind of patient?"

Tsunade's cool eyes settled on hers. Reluctance hid in the Hokage's eyes. "I'll go over it with you sometime or another. Go ahead and read it for yourself... until then. Besides," Tsunade paused, her eyes crinkling in a smile, "you've taken plenty of patients before. I'd say you're well-equipped for this."

Hesitating, Sakura awkwardly bowed once more. "Yes, Lady Tsunade." For a short moment, Sakura stared at her reflection on the glossy floor, wondering why she didn't believe her mentor. Perhaps it was the contrast, between Tsunade's expression and her words...

Quickly Sakura left the Hokage Tower. The birds were chirping now, and the sun was peering, with its one great eye, just over the horizon. The air was fresh, clean. Stopping in the middle of a street, Sakura held Tsunade's scroll in her fingers. She ran her hands over it, thought, then stuffed it into the weapon pouch on her leg. A sense of dread occupied her thoughts. She decided to wait before she read it.

The day was yet new. In the direction of the hospital Sakura looked with dissatisfaction. She had only slept for a few hours the past night, and she didn't feel like going into work yet.

In a few short minutes, Sakura stood outside Sasuke's door and knocked. She wasn't sure what drove her to do it; she only knew she wanted company, familiarity. When Sasuke didn't answer the door, Sakura pushed her way in and strode into his bedroom, wondering if he had already left. At that moment, the idea of going to the hospital became massively unappealing. She wanted to see a person, one whose face was comforting (whose eyelids were not yet tinged blue, and whose fingers were warm).

Sakura was usually apprehensive about barging into Sasuke's apartment, particularly during the day. Taking his bed didn't seem so personal, as odd as it was. When they were Team 7, all three of them were constantly sharing a room, even a bed. Using someone's house or their belongings was much more personal. Perhaps it was because Sakura had come solely to see him, that she was uncomfortable.

Already feeling invasive, Sakura slowed her steps and knocked on his bedroom door.

"Open the door already, Sakura," came a voice from within.

Sakura padded into his room, having taken off her shoes at the front door, then laughed. The scowl on Sasuke's lips was sizable, and he all but threw his perfectly folded clothes into his bag. Apparently, Sakura mused, Sasuke was no morning person.

"What?" he snapped, scowling.

Sakura shook her head. "I can see you're off to great morning, Sasuke-kun." At Sasuke's mutinous look, Sakura merely smiled. Her mood lifted by leaps. Simple conversation had become such a commodity in the last few days. As she glanced at Sasuke, she was grateful.

Whether Sasuke knew her thoughts or not, he began speaking. "Yeah, well, Tsunade doesn't have the decency..." He trailed off as he strapped a weapon pouch around his thigh. "To give anyone a few hours of notice before a mission."

Sakura wandered into his room and sat in his only chair. "What do you mean?"

"Messenger dropped off a scroll a half an hour ago. I have to leave in twenty minutes," informed Sasuke, his voice gruff from both sleep and annoyance.

Disquiet, Sakura stared out his window. "That's unlike her," she said. Was Tsunade really that busy? The scroll by her leg abruptly felt heavy and burdensome; she wondered at her hesitation to read it.

Sasuke, she could hear, snorted. "Unlike her," he scoffed. "Then it's just my luck."

Awakened out of her reverie, Sakura asked, "Where are you going?"

"Sand."

Briefly Sakura grinned. "Say hi to Gaara for me. Kankouro and Temari, too, if you see them."

Sasuke looked up from his bag. His cryptic expression unnerved her, but he quickly looked away. Although tempted to ask, Sakura decided not to comment on Sasuke's newly sullen behavior. The room fell silent, and she stood up. On his bookshelf sat her little book. Sakura paused.

"Did you ever read all of my book?" she began, gingerly pulling the tome off his shelf. She touched the letters of her name.

Sasuke didn't look up from his things as he replied, "Yeah."

"What did you think?" Over her shoulder Sakura studied him.

Sasuke seemed to debate answering, like he did so often. After placing another shirt in his bag, he remarked, "It was long. Thorough."

"Bad?"

The swift glance her way spoke of exasperation. "Just difficult."

"Difficult?" Sakura echoed, happy because she had thought Sasuke would find it simple.

He didn't spare her a glance this time. Almost shamefaced, he admitted, "I didn't understand it all."

Now absurdly pleased, Sakura tipped her head back in laughter. She exclaimed, "Really? Since you read it so fast, I assumed you just understood all of it."

His eyes were dark when he stared at her, indecipherable. Sasuke, shaking his head, picked the book out of her hands. "It was harder as it went on." Although Sakura was confused by his rather flattering confession, she listened intently. Sasuke flipped to the end of the book, rifled through a few pages, then handed the book back to her. "The last few chapters..." Sakura thought she saw him smile at her. "Were Greek."

Sakura, smiling in return, spun around and tucked the book back in its rightful place. Sasuke went back to his things, and Sakura watched him strap a heavy shurikan to his back. "Is it new?" she asked.

"Hn."

Sakura crossed her arms and examined him silently. Strength... was the best and worst thing that ever happened to Sasuke, she thought.

* * *

When Sakura woke up at eight AM two weeks later, she blinked wearily. While rubbing her eyes, Sakura stared at the clock on her nightstand and didn't even have the heart to frown. Although she was late for work, she couldn't honestly be angry at her broken alarm, which had been the cause of her predicament. On the contrary, Sakura felt highly appreciative.

Because she was late, Sakura sat still for a few moments. Either she could go in late and make up the time, or she could take the day off.

As she stood up and felt the soreness in her legs, she decided she was only working a half-day. Promptly she stripped off clothes and slipped into the shower, refusing to look at the red which pooled around her feet. After minutes of scrubbing, she emerged out of the shower, dressed, and teleported to the hospital.

The junior nurses should all be here today, Sakura began thinking to herself. She went through the list of workers that should be at the hospital for the day and smiled a little. If she did the paperwork—which, admittedly, did require her signature—then the other nurses could pick up the slack. As long as no ANBU squad came in dying, it could work... Yes, it could work, Sakura told herself, determined to get in and get out.

The hospital was a stale breath of pungent air. As Sakura shook her hair out of her face, she was surprised she even noticed. She made the trek to her office without thinking, and in daze, sat at her desk. With resolve Sakura viewed the stack of paperwork to be done.

At one o'clock, Sakura marched out of the hospital. The receptionist stared at her as she left, wondering, Why in the world was Sakura leaving so early? And why was she smiling? Even as Sakura made her way through the marketplace, she was acutely aware of eyes on her. Although it annoyed her, Sakura realized that she probably did look peculiar. A lot of villagers didn't see her outside of the hospital or the Hokage Tower.

Suddenly stopping, Sakura looked up at the sky. Where to go? Listlessly she glanced around, as if that would give her any ideas.

After a moment's pause, Sakura smiled. Taking a left, she headed toward Sasuke's apartment. She weaved along the path, which was short, thin, and crowded, before finally stopping in front of the apartment building. She jumped to a higher level and swung in through Sasuke's living room window.

Sakura stepped down and shifted where she stood, listening to the silence of his apartment. Sasuke's chakra signature was absent.

Audibly Sakura sighed. She peered, as still as if she were dead, into the familiar rooms of Sasuke's tiny apartment. The apartment was, in its entirety, disappointingly empty.

Damn, Sakura inwardly cursed. She knew that Sasuke wasn't due back from his mission until the evening, but she had been foolishly hopeful. Without really knowing what to do, Sakura plopped onto his couch and leaned on her knees, propping her face on the heels of her hands.

"This is just great," Sakura remarked aloud, wanting someone to talk to, but having no one. "Well," she continued thoughtfully. "There has to be something to do."

* * *

Sakura heard the keys being shoved into the door. Sasuke, after noticing that the door was already unlocked, then shouldered his way into the living room. Wary and wondering, he stood still, smelled the air, and dropped his bag. All this Sakura heard from the kitchen.

Her only teammate in Konoha appeared in the door way. His vest was torn; his shoes were worn; and his face was drawn in fatigue. Sakura smiled and asked, "How are you feeling?"

Sasuke shook his head, as if he couldn't understand what he was seeing. "Why aren't you at the hospital?"

"I ah, took the day off." She felt unreasonably sheepish for saying so, because it had evidently been for no purpose. She turned back to the food she was cooking and revised her earlier question, "Are you hurt, Sasuke-kun?"

The kitchen stool creaked as Sasuke sat down behind her. His proximity was alien, particularly because she hadn't seen him in two weeks. Although there were a couple feet between them, Sakura felt like he was mere inches away.

"No, I'm not hurt," Sasuke eventually replied.

The arrogance in his voice elicited a smile from Sakura. She didn't say anything more, expecting that he wouldn't want to talk, having just returned to the village. To her surprise, Sasuke's voice reached her ears once again.

"Why are you barefoot in my kitchen? And cooking?" His tone was light, bemused..

When Sakura turned around, she noticed that Sasuke was indeed staring at her. She shifted, tiny feet sweeping across the tiles, and shrugged. "I didn't have anything to do, and I... Well..." She had no reason, other than wanting his company. But it was hard to admit that.

"And you found my apron," Sasuke remarked, staring her waist.

Sasuke's no-nonsense, strictly business apron was knotted around her waist—tied very tightly to make up for the size. Sakura whirled around, trying to focus on her food, but still preoccupied by the way his eyes, she could feel, were trained on her. Hoping to distract him, Sakura scooped noodles into a serving dish and almost thrust it into his hands.

Sasuke examined the stir-fry. In a disinterested tone he asked, "What have you been doing?"

"I slept on your couch for a few hours, and I did laundry." Sakura gestured to the food impatiently. "Now are you just stalling so you don't have to eat it?"

Instinctively Sasuke's eyes found her face. He was serious for several moments until he smirked. "The last thing you made wasn't good."

Her ears flushed pink. Stubbornly Sakura turned her head away from him, even though she knew he was right. She fought a smile and accused, "Such a critic." Looking at him out of the corner of her eye, she encouraged, "Try it anyway. I think you'll like it."

Sasuke consented. With the utmost sobriety he took a bite.

Sakura was definitely pleased. "Good?" She piled food onto a plate of her own and smiled. "I put tomatoes in it."

Sasuke only nodded as he took another forkful and held the bowl on top of his leg. "Thank you," he murmured, lost in thought.

"You're welcome." Taking the seat next to him, Sakura daintily set her bowl on the counter. "Are you alright, Sasuke-kun? You're acting differently."

Sasuke abruptly frowned. He twisted more food around his fork and said, "I'm fine."

Sakura faced the window. With her lip in between her teeth, she debated whether or not she should pry. "Is something wrong? Or if you're just tired, I don't mind leaving you alone."

Sasuke rubbed his temples. "You don't have to leave. It's just been a long couple of weeks."

Although Sakura didn't buy it at all, she was determined to salvage his good mood "I never heard what your mission was," Sakura started, hoping to draw him into a conversation. "What'd you do?"

Sasuke's mouth took on a sardonic smile, as if he knew what she was doing. He probably did, Sakura granted. "A variety of things." He glanced at her and added tersely, "Gaara and Temari said hi. Kankouro wants you to visit."

When she smiled on impulse, Sasuke sent a furtive glance her way. "What?" Sakura asked.

He only shrugged and shook his head, facing the opposite wall once more. Sakura rotated on the stool, uneasily listening to the silence in Sasuke's apartment. She hated this kind of silence.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, desperate for something to say, something to fill the silence.

Sasuke turned to her, half-interested.

"I haven't checked you out yet."

Just as soon as the words left her mouth, Sasuke faced the wall again, an amused smirk playing on his mouth.

Sakura looked down at her food, realizing her mistake with some amount of embarrassment. "Give you... a check up, I mean," she corrected, blushing.

Sasuke expelled a breath that sounded wonderfully like a laugh to her ears. "Aa."

Despite her embarrassment, she laughed with him.

* * *

a/n. (i know this is a day late: i was out of town yesterday. i saw the robin hood movie!) to my GREAT reviewers whom i love so, so much:

**shkh4ever, XFerni-ChanX, SasuSakuKawai, jolteonforever, Sakura Haruno . . . CHA!, MidniteCurse4Eternity, Lady Rini, TrueHeartsGlow, cutecookie chick, Kaze and Kiba, XxCrimsonNovaxX, Sairalinde Inwe, Anonymous Reader, Misery's-Toll, Crystal Koneko, lily, TigerLilyette, Moonwaterpetal, Sakura's Indecision, Storms-winter, Bloody X Blossom X Butterfly, Maybe Now**, and **LarkasBlessing122291**.

so i have a proposition for you readers/reviewers. REVIEW! and answer this question: should the next chapter be a sasuke chapter (his mission in sand)? i have part of it written, in case, because i think it would explain some things. :)


	11. Sasuke Uchiha

a/n. dedicated to the 200th reviewer: **17child-of-the-moon17**. you rule. :D

* * *

Divergence: Sasuke Uchiha.

* * *

"Alright, we're done," said a Sand ninja.

Sasuke had heard the man's name before, but after so many faces, another meant little. As he sheathed his sword, he turned to the camp, but was called back.

"The Kazekage wants to see you. You've been ordered back to the village."

The air was hot; the camp was low on food; and there wasn't any water for miles around. The only thing Sasuke was thankful for was the dryness of the air—the stench of bodies, which were piled and burning as a great pyre, was not as overwhelming as it would have been in Konoha. Some of the faces, Sasuke had observed, still looked out on the world unseeingly, waiting their turn to be tasted by the flames.

The sweltering heat was an ever present reminder of the distance between Sasuke and Konoha. Not for a moment, not even in sleep, did he forget how far away he was, or what an outsider he was. The Sand ninja were even less forgiving than the Leaf. They did not bother to hide their distaste. He was hardly left alone for even a moment.

Sasuke turned from the Sand ninja and, running one hand through his sweat-soaked hair, walked in the direction of the village. There were no trees, no green, nothing that Sasuke had ever associated with life. The desert did not move; it did not rustle; it did not chatter with animals as the forest had in Leaf. The desert, too, Sasuke had learned, was endless. For two hours he traveled, as a black specter might slowly enclose on its haunting grounds.

The tall gates were eerie in the sandstorm, a travesty of Konoha's sturdy, welcoming border. Despite his hampered mood, Sasuke sighed in relief at entering the village. The civilians looked his way and frowned, the elderly ninja murmured, but the heat and the irritating sand overpowered that discomfort.

Not stopping lest he should delay his arrival, Sasuke strode past the crowds and made his way to the Kazekage's Tower. But that was not so hard: the people leaned away him instinctively. They saw him, shook, and averted their gaze. Mothers held onto their children.

"Don't look at him," he heard. "Another ninja rebel."

A pariah, they might have accused.

In the Konoha Penitentiary Sasuke had not felt as dangerous as he did in Sand. Although this was just his first trip inside the Sand village, he was already learning that no one looked kindly on a "murderer." Morosely Sasuke contemplated its irony. Were they not all murderers?

Sasuke's defection of Konoha had been far-reaching. His infamy surpassed him. Sasuke had not supposed, when he first returned to Konoha, what a label his defection would become, or how insurmountable. Even now, he continued to learn.

Sweat trickled down his neck, his arms, his legs. The heat elicited his lethargy. Upon entering the Kazekage Tower, he stood still, relishing the relative coolness of the long halls. He wished for the bearable days in Konoha, for the coolness of a certain office in the hospital.

Sasuke, unfamiliar with the building, wandered through the halls. The tower, as he had guessed, was laid out as the Hokage's was. Within minutes he found himself outside of thick wooden double-doors. His knuckles had not yet rapped on the surface when both doors swung open.

"Can't you see we're in a private conversation?"

Kankouro smirked at him from behind the Kazekage's desk. His legs were thrown on top of papers, and from his fingertips shot out opalescent blue strings. Each thread of chakra attached itself to the double-doors.

Sasuke walked into the room, his footfalls silent.

"Sasuke Uchiha," greeted the Kazekage. As Gaara stood in front of the wide windows, his red hair blended in with the dusk. His eyes, as light as peridot, were reflected on the glass window.

"Kazekage," Sasuke murmured. He bowed, although he thought the gesture was needless.

Gaara turned to face Sasuke. His hoarse voice was as grainy as the sand. "You'll be in the south border until the end of the mission. Temari will take you there."

Sasuke nodded and was about to leave when Gaara began again. The sentence was rushed, curious.

"Have you seen your team?"

Sasuke pocketed his hands. "No. Should I have?"

"You might see them on the south border within the next few days."

Kankouro looked up from his chakra strings, which manipulated everything from the papers to the pictures on the back wall, and barked, "Who cares about that?" He leaned forward, releasing his chakra holds. "How's Sakura?"

Sasuke blinked, stalled. "She's fine."

"Is she still running the hospital?"

With a nod Sasuke wondered at Kankouro's interest. He recalled what Sakura had asked and added, "She said hi."

"Just like her," Kankouro laughed. "Tell her she needs to visit us soon. You know she—"

"You can talk later, Kankouro," Gaara interrupted. "We shouldn't waste much time. He needs to be at the south border by tonight."

When he left the Kazekage Tower, Sasuke swore under his breath. His clothes had not been washed in days, and his weapons had dulled. On his way out of the village, he stopped at a stand and bought a glass of water. It was hot, but wet, quenching. Sparse.

Sundown had come, and the bar opposite him was already filling. A redhead stumbled out from the bar, laughing. Her black eyes were hazy as she approached. The woman stopped in front of him, swayed, and smiled. Her clothes were almost falling off her. A thin hand grabbed at his vest.

Sasuke stared down at her face, which was full of thirsting—for a lot of things. He left her, took another gulp of water, and decided that Sand was the most miserable place he had ever been.

At the village gates he found Temari.

"You look like hell," she greeted, a satiric smile on her mouth.

The cleanness of her clothes and the freshness in her appearance surprised Sasuke. The way people could live surprised Sasuke. He had lived underground—in the almost airless night—but there, he thought, there was water, and relief from heat.

Although it was a long trip, Temari did not chatter as Sasuke had expected. She did not speak until the south border was in sight. "Did you see Kankouro?" she questioned.

"Yes."

"Did he get to ask about Sakura? He's been talking about her recently, since he hasn't seen her in a while." The wind blew against the two of them and drowned out Temari's words.

Sasuke, shielding his face from the burning wind, shook his head. "He did. How does he know Sakura?"

Her incredulous look was full of amusement and disdain. "How could he not?" she retorted. "Sakura lived for a year in Sand. She helped train more than half of our medical corps. Something about neighborly ties between nations..." Her voice trailed off, as if caught in the wind and blown away.

Temari regained her voice and began again with, "My brother also doesn't forget a favor. He's indebted to Sakura. But you probably don't know about that, either." Her chest shook with laughter. "Sakura saved Kankouro's life years ago. He was dying of poison, and no one in Sand could help him. We didn't know where to begin."

Temari finished prematurely. They had reached the south border. She called to the ninja stationed above them and pointed Sasuke to the left. "Stay alert. At sunrise... we suspect they'll attack again."

Stay alert. Sasuke scoffed to himself. The desert didn't allow relief; its heat was hell.

Temari turned away. "Wait," Sasuke called out, still plagued with questions. "You said Sakura stayed here for a while. Coudn't she have turned the mission down?"

Sasuke thought of her sleepless nights. Nothing could drag Sakura away from the hospital. How she have justified leaving Konoha for so long?

"Sakura understands loss." Temari's knowing gaze sent something like guilt through his veins. "She knows it well. Doesn't it make sense for her...? Our medics were so ineffective. She was helping others... from losing their lives, their family, friends... _teammates_."

He watched Temari leave. What she said made sense; a lot of sense.

That night was long, and rest was short. When Sasuke fell asleep, he dreamed—

His ears were still roaring from the fights, but the apartment complex was quiet. At three AM the night was still. Sasuke lingered outside Sakura's apartment, then opened the door, which was customarily left unlocked. But for the ticking of the clock and the breaths coming form her room, this, too, was silent.

Sasuke laughed, surprised. He hadn't expected her to be at her house.

For no real reason, he crept into the hallway and stared through her opened doorway. The silver moonlight bathed the room in black and white. Sakura stirred, as if sensing his presence. Her mouth parted, closed, and opened again—reminiscent of a scream.

The clock chimed three o' clock. Sakura jerked up in her bed. Her widened eyes, despite the lighting, were unsettlingly green; they stared at him, dazed. Fear was a light sheen over her eyes, past which she couldn't see. Sakura's breaths slowly quieted.

Sasuke studied her, and wondered, What did she have nightmares about? What could _possibly_...?

Her blankets fell in between her legs. Her short hair framed her flushed face in jagged waves. Sasuke, lost in that reverie, did not hear her first murmurs. Sakura's tiny voice was weighed down with sleep.

"What are you doing here, Sasuke-kun?" she whispered.

She took two breaths, closed her eyes, and slumped against her pillows. A whimper, so soft Sasuke didn't know if it was real, slipped out of her lips. Sakura reached one alabaster hand to rub her eyes and spoke.

She was sleep talking, Sasuke realized after several minutes. And she was confused. Sakura rambled, in her half-conscious state, with disjointed sentences and unfinished thoughts. Faint pleadings were repeated as often as a prayer—

Sasuke woke up, hot, and again miserable. The memory he had dreamed replayed in his mind, along with the explanation he never received.

The night now was colder. Sasuke sat up, looking for whatever had woken him. Temari, he could see in the distance, stood on top of the gate with her fan lying against the wall. Sasuke closed his eyes and listened.

The dobe.

He's early, Sasuke thought to himself, incredulous. Both Kakashi and Sai were with him, of course. Sasuke could hear Temari's greeting, then a loud, "Teme, get over here!"

Sluggishly he stood. Sasuke shed his vest, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and sauntered to the gate. Without enthusiasm he offered his welcome.

Naruto's grin was neither sympathetic nor ignorant. "I see you've already gotten used to the desert, Sasuke. It feel great out here, doesn't it?"

"Shut up."

"Now, now, children," murmured Kakashi. "What kind of greeting is this?"

* * *

Everyone was at his station for the remainder of the night and of the day. When it was sundown again, Sasuke found himself surrounded by Team Seven. Naruto's excuse for the invasion was that Sasuke didn't have much food. That was true enough.

"Can't wait to go home," Naruto began. Shadows cast across his face, making him look leaner, older, and feral. The red light glinted off his eyes. "We've been away from Konoha too long."

His somber attitude Sasuke had seen before, and it was always in reference to Konoha. To Naruto, nothing was more serious than Konoha, or everyone in it.

"We'll be there soon," Kakashi said. "But how soon, I'm not sure."

"Yeah," Naruto muttered. He stuffed another bite into his mouth, looked away, and when he looked back, he was himself again; lively. "Anyway, how's Sakura-chan?"

The memory replayed in Sasuke's mind. He was seeing her panic-stricken eyes as he answered, "Tired."

Naruto's face fell.

"Sakura-san hasn't received any help yet?" Sai asked.

Sasuke stared at his replacement. The most uncomfortable part of seeing Sai was that, Sasuke knew, that was how everyone saw _him_. It was almost like some grand joke, for Sasuke couldn't find the similarity, outside the black hair and black eyes. And certainly he had experienced more hate, more grief than his replacement had.

"No," Sasuke answered after some time. "In another month, I think a few students are coming to the hospital, but not before then."

"What has she been doing?" Naruto rejoined.

"Working."

"Have you been making her sleep, like I asked?"

"Aa."

Naruto grinned. "Good," he paused in thought, "and what have you been _doing_?" The feral, mischievous look came back into his eyes. "Not Sakura-chan, I trust?"

Sasuke didn't deem that with a reply.

"Seriously, what have you been doing?"

"Missions, dobe."

"I bet Sakura-chan's been hounding you for check-ups, hasn't she? I bet she's checked your eyes like a million times by now." Naruto continued in the same fond tone. "It's so funny how predictable she is about that..."

"Does she miss us?" Naruto suddenly asked.

Sasuke thought of all the wistful looks, the sighs. "Yeah. She does."

He nodded, satisfied. Naruto then stood up, dusted off his pants, and threw one hand in the air. "Alright, enough conversation. Come on, Kakashi! Help me persuade Temari into giving me more food."

Kakashi, peering over his little book, queried, "And what makes you think she'd give us anymore? After we already have extra?"

Reasoning was of no importance. "I can't be rationed, Kakashi! I'm _starving_!" Swiftly Kakashi was hauled away.

The silence was filled with quiet and rowdy Sand ninja alike. Naruto's begging Sasuke could hear in the distance. A nearby fire crackled, despite the heat, and Sasuke was in the middle of scornful thoughts when Sai began to speak.

"Miss: to regret the absence or loss of. And Sakura-san misses _us_," he echoed. Sai looked up. "Did Sakura-san miss you, too, when you were gone, Sasuke-san? Did she regret your absence?"

Sai's expression was so infantile in its understanding, Sasuke couldn't be angry with him. His question was dull, not accusing or vindictive. "If you really want to know, why don't you ask Sakura?" came Sasuke's wearisome reply.

"I have."

Sasuke looked at him askance.

"She didn't say. For a long time Sakura-san didn't talk about you," Sai went on. "I don't know why. But she was very touchy if I ever called you a traitor."

Sai's lack of discretion amused him. Inadvertently he had betrayed himself, but Sai wasn't acquainted enough with emotions like embarrassment to notice. Sasuke opened his mouth and humored, "And why would she be touchy about that, Sai?"

It was strange, Sasuke mused, to talk to his own replacement.

"I don't know," Sai answered. "Even if you are a traitor, I guess Sakura-san likes you." Sai shook his head, as if it all were beyond him.

"It doesn't make sense to you, does it?"

Sai, without expression, stared at him. "No." He averted his gaze and remarked, "The rest of Team Seven empathizes with you; that creates a bond. I don't think Sakura-san can empathize with you. So what is the bond?"

The smirk fell of Sasuke's mouth.

He stared at the Sand ninja, not wanting to look at Sai or to think. Sand's suspicion, their apprehension made him feel as alien, as foreign as anything. Naruto, however, clearly held their trust. A group of ninja surrounded him, and seemed content to do that.

It is strange, Sasuke thought, for one ninja of a three-cell team to be universally hated, while the other two are hailed as heroes.

* * *

a/n. to reviewers, all lovable. LOVE YOU.

**XxCrimsonNovaxX, Dictionary Ink **(love your name!)**, shkh4ever, SasuSakuKawai, Kaze and Kiba, TrueHeartsGlow, iUchibi, burgundywolf, Anonymous Reader, -Chan.X, graviola, Charm Caster, Unknown, Sakura Haruno . . . CHA!, Bloody X Blossom X Butterfly, Misery's-Toll, cutecookiechick, Sairalinde Inwe, magda, Crystal Koneko, MidniteCurse4Eternity, Lady Rini, LarkasBlessing122291, Hazel, 17child-of-the-moon17, jolteonforever, Sakura's Indecision**, and **Chiaki Misa**.

amazing (uh-mey-zing): causing great surprise or sudden wonder. _amazing_ in a sentence: i appreciate my amazing and considerate readers, who take the time to read this fic. thanks for the 200 reviews! :D


	12. Chapter 9

Sakura ambled through the hospital halls with a skip in her step. She felt _great_. All the birds chirped for her; and the sun rose just for her.

Today was the day. Today was the day Naruto, Kakashi, and Sai were supposed to get back. And damn it, Sakura thought, she wasn't letting them go another mission like that again. Not if she could help it.

At least when Naruto is Hokage, he'll be home, she comforted herself.

Adjusting the books in her arms, she stopped outside her door and pressed down the handle, entering her office with her back to the door. Sasuke, she noted with little surprise, was in her office. She turned on her heel and set the books down on her desk.

Sasuke stared at her for a moment, contemplating her before remarking, "I take it that you already know."

Sakura raised her eyebrows. "It's that obvious?" Smiling briefly, she rearranged the books on her desk and began rattling off, "It has been so long. It'll be so nice to see them and hear them and..." She halted, staring at the small frown on Sasuke's face.

It was nighttime outside. Because she hadn't turned any lights on, the moonlight was the only thing illuminating his frown.

"Sasuke-kun, what's wrong?"

He paused, looking at her. A satiric smirk darted across his lips as he said, "Nothing." His expression was so bitter, Sakura stood speechless while he stood up from her chair and strode to the door.

She followed him out. "Sasuke-kun, don't leave. Talk to me in here," Sakura pleaded. When he didn't stop, she reached out her hand and held him in place. "I mean it," she warned. "I'm not letting you sulk for a month. Tell me what's wrong."

Sasuke turned around. The smirk hadn't quite left; he looked at her with soft indulgence, but with a shadow of sadness. "Don't make such a big deal about everything, Sakura," he remonstrated. "I said it's nothing."

Sakura folded her arms over her chest. "I can't believe you're giving me that. Is there where you say you're fine, too?"

"I'm fine."

"Bullshit."

Her pulse was hammering in her neck. Sakura sucked in a breath, suddenly and completely full of ire, and said, "I wish you weren't so closed-off. What's the point in that, Sasuke-kun? You don't have a reason to stay away from us anymore."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He started to walk away.

Sakura, grabbing his arm again, moved to stand in front of him. "You know exactly what I mean. You always do. And I'm not letting you leave," she said, "until you tell me what the hell is wrong with you. You've been acting strange ever since you got back from Sand."

His shoulders jerked—in a laugh, she supposed. "Just leave it alone, Sakura."

"Am I going to have to guess?" she asked. "Did Sand give you a hard time?"

Softly he huffed. She wasn't sure why.

"Are you sick? Are you hurt? Are you _depressed_?"

This time Sasuke did laugh. He shook his head, saying, "Sakura, you're ridiculous. For someone as smart as you, you're unbelievably dense."

"Yeah, and you're an ass," Sakura retorted. "But I still..." She sighed. "I still worry about you."

Sasuke smiled without humor. "You haven't seemed worried about me."

Sakura stood, her head titled upwards because of their proximity, and frowned. She opened her mouth, but the reason she thought of for his behavior, was so unlike him, so improbable, that she didn't speak.

With his usual indifference, Sasuke slipped by her. He walked two steps before Sakura turned around and held him in place.

"I'm not done," she said resolutely, tugging on his wrist. His pulse she felt through the sleeve. Some of her anger left her, and Sakura spoke gentler than she did before. "Is this about today?"

Sasuke shook his wrist. "Sakura, let go of me."

Without seeming to hear him, Sakura continued in that same softening tone. "Is this about Naruto, or the rest of them?"

"_Sakura_."

"It's not like you've been replaced," she said, a little more forcefully. "We don't think any less of you now, Sasuke-kun."

He gripped her hand, then held it away from him as he stepped closer. "There's a difference between us all, Sakura. Stop trying to act like there isn't."

"We know that!" She stared at Sasuke's fingers that wound around her wrist, not wanting to look at the surprise on her teammate's face. "We don't pretend you never left Konoha, Sasuke-kun. In a way you're..." She looked up at him. "In a way it made you more important to us."

His mirthless black eyes bored into hers, and his fingers tightened around her wrist. "Shut up. Don't be so blind."

"Me?" Sakura repeated incredulous. "I'm blind? _You're_ blind, Sasuke."

"Sakura—"

"Do you think we searched for Naruto, or Sai, or Kakashi for four years? Did we train because of them, or think about them every night, or stand up for them when no one else did?" She jerked her wrist out of his hold. "Don't you get it, Sasuke-kun? None of us have tried harder for anyone else. _I've_ never tried harder for anyone else."

His look was full of agitation, but she just wanted him to understand.

"Naruto's as strong as he is because of you," Sakura pursued. "He's loyal because of you. Kakashi joined ANBU to help us find you. And Sai helped us, even though he had no reason to."

Sasuke's chest inflated in a sigh. A frown twisted his mouth.

"You know I'm right!" Sakura exclaimed. "You _know_ how much we've done for you."

He was silent at first. She hadn't really expected him to say anything. "You didn't include yourself," Sasuke murmured in a fleeting, tired voice.

"That should be the most obvious," Sakura answered, a hapless smile on her lips.

"Should it?"

"Don't be an ass," she replied. "Don't antagonize me."

The hallway was very quiet, but his voice was still hard to hear. "I didn't think I was."

"You shouldn't pretend to be oblivious, Sasuke-kun," Sakura said. "I became a medic because of you. I trained, traveled, learned politics..." She shook her head, then looked down at the floor. "I just wanted to say that... it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. They don't know you. They don't understand."

"That would imply that you know me and that you understand."

"I think I can say I know you a little," Sakura answered. "I'm not sure that anyone knows everything about you. Except Naruto maybe." She smiled wistfully. "But you two have always been close."

Sasuke's contemplating gaze made her uncomfortable. She tried to distract him.

"You're not going to tell me, though, exactly what's bothering you, are you?"

He was silent.

"That's a no. Did you at least listen to what I said?" Something in his appearance made her feel like he had. "Good," she whispered.

Sasuke, hesitating over her, opened his mouth and was about to speak when Sakura's name rang in the hall.

"Sakura!" a nurse called.

Reluctantly Sakura turned away from Sasuke and looked down the hall. "Yes?"

The nurse smiled, relieved and oblivious that she was interrupting anything. "Natsuki was looking for you. Her antidote isn't turning out right."

With a sigh Sakura nodded and answered that she would be right there. As the nurse turned the corner and left, Sakura faced her teammate. "Sorry."

His indifference was back. Sasuke made a sort of shrug.

"I'll see you later today," she added, noticing the distant look in his eye. "Alright?"

He left in silence, and Sakura followed the nurse down the hallway, disappearing farther into the hospital.

* * *

It was well past midnight when Naruto, Kakashi, and Sai entered the gates. The sun was just peeking over the forest line, red and glowing and promising.

A smile grew on her lips. Her body, Sakura thought, was probably tired, but she couldn't feel it. Although she hadn't taken a break since she saw Sasuke, she felt better than she had in weeks, months, years—as if she'd slept for days and days and was more rested than she'd ever been. The sun was again rising for _her_

With her excitement came her awareness. Sakura watched Sasuke askance, concerned. She was hyper-sensitive to his body, just a few feet from hers. He had arrived seconds after she did; she hadn't had the chance to say anything. Was he okay? He had been about to say something, hadn't he?

Sakura could feel her team's chakra. Their chakra was as much a part of her as it was of them. She knew it by heart; she had molded it under her own medical chakra countless times.

Naruto was the first to reach them. "Sakura-chan! Teme!" he yelled, louder than he should have.

Enveloped in Naruto's tight hug, Sakura chided, "People are still sleeping, Naruto."

He pulled away from her with a cocky grin. "Let them wake up! Naruto Uzumaki is back in town!" Here he pumped his first into the air. "Believe it, Sakura-chan!"

"Oh, I do. The villagers do, too. No one else can be this loud, this early."

Naruto, still laughing, turned to Sasuke and offered another, "Teme," before hugging him awkwardly. Sasuke's eyes twitched, and Naruto continued to pat his back. "It's alright, Sasuke. I'm back. I know you're so relieved."

Sasuke shrugged him off. "Ecstatic."

"Hah! Don't even pretend you didn't miss me." Naruto turned around, not waiting for any type of denial, and waved Kakashi and Sai over. "C'mon, what's taking so long? Get over here!"

Kakashi landed next to him before Sai. "I'm tired. I'm old."

"Well, you've always been old, Kakashi! That's never stopped you before!" Naruto replied, smacking Kakashi on the arm.

"He isn't old," Sakura interposed. "Gray hair doesn't make you old."

"Thank you, Sakura," Kakashi said, his one eye crinkling. "At least one of my students knows how to respect her elders."

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto murmured. He stepped next to Sasuke and said something in a low voice, but Sakura couldn't make out the words. Sai drew her attention away from the two, and she smiled, hugging Sai and Kakashi both.

"I'm glad you're back," said Sakura. "It's never the same without you."

"Of course it isn't!" Naruto exclaimed, rejoining the conversation. Sakura threw a careful glance towards Sasuke. What had Naruto said? "Hey!" Naruto continued. With a grin, he leaned towards the group and raised his eyebrows. "I just thought of something!"

"That's a first," said Sasuke.

"Breakfast at Ichiraku's!"

A laugh escaped Sakura's lips as Sasuke rolled his eyes and added a charitable, "Dobe." The sound of her laugh caught Sasuke's attention, and his eyes settled directly on her.

_Was_ he okay? She couldn't help but wonder. Why had he acted so strange?

"Ah, I'm okay with ramen for breakfast," she offered, nervously aware of Sasuke's never straying eyes. "I haven't had it since you left."

Naruto supplied a gasp and a shout of "Sacrilege!" before she was promptly shepherded toward Ichiraku's.

* * *

Ichiraku was one of the places: one of those places that no matter how long it's been since you've seen it or what it looks like, you feel the same reminiscent longing.

Sakura hadn't been in a while for that reason.

She only went with her teammates. It was different then. Then it was like old times, and Ichiraku's was one of those places that stood for everything that she loved to remember. But when Team 7 was out of town, Sakura didn't dare to think of eating ramen. She went alone once, thinking it would make her feel better. Instead, the trip was as if she were visiting a grave of an old friend, there to think about the days she'd never enjoy again. Sakura only made that mistake once.

She sat down in her seat; and undeniably, it was _her_seat. Just as the ones next to hers were Sasuke's and Naruto's and Kakashi's and even Sai's. The wood was smooth and worn; just like she remembered.

"Hope you've got enough help!" Naruto announced, patting his stomach with a smile on his face. "It's been days since I've had ramen!"

Chuckling, Sakura faced forward, falling into the routine of watching the workers and listening to Naruto as he inhaled his ramen. Kakashi made small talk, and Sai offered a few details about the mission.

"It was so _long_," Naruto complained, not bothering to finish slurping before voicing his opinion.

Sakura wrinkled her nose. "Finish the ramen first, please."

She was ignored. "Seriously," he continued. "I know Sand's border control has been a problem, but damn, it's boring." He set his crystal clear, blue eyes on Sakura. "The most boring thing I've ever done. Worse than the _Academy_," he added, a dreadful emphasis on _Academy_.

At that Sasuke snorted; the first sound he'd made since they left for Ichiraku. "Dead last."

"What! The Academy was torture. Pure torture." Naruto shook his head, ridding his head of all those awful memories, and returned his attention to the bowl of ramen in front of him. "Border control is just terrible. I hope I never do it again."

Sakura eyed her bowl of ramen disinterestedly. "Yeah, me too," she said.

Naruto turned to her. "Hm?"

"It's been a long few months." Before she could stop herself, she let, "Again," slip out of her mouth.

Because truly, it had been. It wasn't fair, she thought to herself. Hadn't they been on enough long missions? She didn't know anyone else with longer missions than Team 7. Than Team 7, minus two. If only she could have gone with them. Sasuke, too.

Naruto's expression immediately turned regretful. "I'm sorry, Sakura-chan, I know you—"

"No, no, don't say sorry." She forced a smile onto her lips. "Ever thought _why_ you've been doing all these 'boring' missions?"

Naruto's eyes fell into that blank stare when he was lost.

"Tsunade wants you to know more. I bet you know more about border control than anyone else—than any other potential candidate for Hokage. Except for Kakashi and Sai, of course," Sakura amended, glancing at her former sensei and other teammate.

Naruto seemed to entertain the idea for a moment before he puffed out his chest. With a broad smile he laughed. "Yeah! Believe it! I'm going to be Hokage!"

Out of the corner of her eye, Sakura glimpsed Sai and wondered what he was thinking. Passive, he sat in his chair, a puzzled frown on his mouth. Maybe it was for Sai weird to see Naruto, to see someone with such a long-lasting dream. It was weird for her, even. That anyone could be so singularly driven for this long was beyond her...

"Sakura?"

Kakashi's voice brought her out of her reverie. "Mm?" she murmured, still locked in her own thoughts.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. Yes, I'm fine," she answered, offering Kakashi an appreciative smile. "I was just thinking. It was the first time I've thought about anything other than your coming home." She laughed. "I've been excited all yesterday and today."

Naruto beamed at her. "We've been looking forward to getting home, too. Sasuke over there told us that you missed us, but he didn't say it was this much!"

Sakura turned to Sasuke, displeased. "You saw them? You didn't tell me!"

The look was back; a sort of gloomy listlessness. "You didn't ask."

"When is that ever a reason not to tell something?" Sakura returned, though her mind was on something else. Had she really talked to him since he got back a few days ago? She had been so excited about her team that...

"Sakura, you look tired," Kakashi cut in.

She looked at him in surprise. "Really? I don't feel a bit tired."

He smiled fondly. "It's all the excitement. But you still need to sleep. Knowing you, I would guess you haven't done much of that." Kakashi leaned toward Naruto and said, "We shouldn't be keeping Sakura out past her curfew so much. She's a growing girl. Needs her sleep." Kakashi winked his one visible eye at Sakura.

"Oh, don't be ridiculous. I'm not tired, and I have all the time in the world—"

But Naruto took her well being much more seriously than that. He promptly stood and began ushering her out of Ichiraku's. Unwillingly Sakura left the stand.

"But we're doing this again!" she yelled, as Naruto guided her down the street. "This week!"

* * *

a/n. yikes! i apologize for the week-late chapter. (my internet hasn't been working until today.) and to my awesome reviewers:

**Dictionary Ink, Lady Rini, shkh4ever, Chiaki Misa, SasuSakuKawai, TrueHeartsGlow, The Anonymous Reader, Bloody X Blossom X Butterfly, 17child-of-the-moon17, zara dragon, cutecookiechick, Sakura's Indecision, Misery's-Toll, MidniteCurse4Eternity, boulder's sun, jolteonforever, Storms-winter, magda, youko, Sairalinde Inwe, LoveTheCrazy**, and **Lia113**.

thank you for your time, your reviews, and your suggestions! hope you all stick with this to see the end. :D


	13. Chapter 10

When Sakura reached her house, it felt like a huge burden was lifted off of her shoulders. Her team was home, and that, in itself, was enough to make her smile.

After unlocking the door, she turned around to say goodbye to Naruto, but her blond teammate kept shouldering his way into her apartment. He didn't stop until he reached her amply stuffed couch.

"Ahh," he sighed in contentment, as he flopped across the furniture.

"Naruto?" Sakura called out curiously, marching to her living room and sitting directly across from him. Naruto popped up, ruffling his blond hair and rubbing at his eyes every so often. What was he doing?

"Do you want to stay here for the night?" she asked.

"Maybe," Naruto replied. He shifted on her couch, blue eyes suddenly serious. With his elbows on his knees, he bent forward, hands clasped in a way that was foreign to him. "But that's not the point."

Sakura frowned, confused. "Okay. Then what is?"

"How are you and Sasuke?"

She didn't know herself. "What?"

Naruto looked up at her ceiling and laughed. "Not so discreet, Sakura-chan." The suffix sounded more endearing as he laughed at her.

"I don't know what you're—"

"You know what I mean. We've got a lot to talk about."

His seriousness was not altogether unfamiliar, but Sakura took a second to think. After yanking off her shoes, she crossed her legs and fell back into her recliner. "Then where do we start?" she asked.

"Um," Naruto filled the silence while he thought. "Well, first: the most important. How are you?" He looked at her in earnest. "Are you okay?"

His concern was comforting. Smiling, Sakura said, "Fine. I'm doing well." Naruto didn't look utterly convinced, so she corrected, "I might look tired" (she had just worked overtime) "but I feel great. I'm so happy you're back."

"Even though you _do_look a little tired, you still look better," Naruto appraised, staring intently at her face. "Less exhausted than you normally do. Than you did, anyway." That comment made her wonder just how bad she usually looked. "Less pale. Thin."

"Did I really look that bad?" Sakura asked self-consciously, thinking back to the days of permanent circles around her eyes and white, white skin.

"Sakura-chan, you never look bad!" Naruto exclaimed, brightening. "I just mean that you look healthier. That's good. For a little while, you were looking pretty worn out." As if on second thought, he continued, rabbling, "And has Sasuke-teme been taking care of you? I made it very clear that if you were in any way, shape, or form—"

"You asked Sasuke-kun to look after me?" Sakura repeated, mood suddenly dampened. A frown settled on her lips; she couldn't figure out exactly what she was feeling. Disappointment, that all he did wasn't his own choice. Embarrassment, that Naruto had asked. Hurt pride, that Naruto thought she needed looking after.

"Yeah," Naruto said, as if it were obvious. "You work too hard, and Sasuke's one of us. We look after each other, remember? We're family."

"Of course we're family," Sakura responded.

She stared into the kitchen and, although she understood Naruto, couldn't support his tactics. She didn't need someone to take care of her. She'd been left plenty of times. And no one had thought of her then. She was fine, perfectly _fine_, and fully independent. She liked that her teammates thought of her, but she was too stubborn to want them to think that she _needed_ it. She didn't.

Had she spent all those years, to be considered weak? Had she killed herself training, to be considered the least of her team?

"Speaking of looking after," Naruto began, ignorant to her unrest. He licked his lips, something he never did. "Sasuke sure was looking _at_you the entire time we were at Ichiraku's."

Sakura paused at his implication. What? Then her grip on reality returned. "Naruto—"

"I know I'm not as smart as you, Sakura-chan, but I do know you. And I do know Sasuke."

Her words died in her throat. She'd never heard Naruto mention her intellect in a self-depreciating way. It frustrated her. "No one thinks you're stupid, Naruto," Sakura started, still frowning. "And I doubt he was—"

"He was."

"Naruto, he was not—"

"He was," Naruto insisted. "I know it. So what's up with you two?"

She was perfectly still. "Absolutely nothing," Sakura answered, straight-faced. Naruto had _asked_Sasuke to look after her. That was depressing.

On top of that, she still didn't know why Sasuke was so surly. Not to say that his usual attitude was something other than surly.

"Sakura-chan," Naruto drawled, unconvinced. He stood up and walked in front of her, pulling her up into a hug. "Since you're being stubborn, I'll leave you alone about it. You do need to sleep."

Sakura relaxed in his hug. "You, too, Naruto. And welcome back. I missed you."

A smile cracked his face, one that wiped away the lines around his eyes and the scars on his cheeks. He hugged her again before he left. Her apartment fell silent.

* * *

Sasuke was on a mission, for whatever reason. Sakura had found out about it too late, and her acerbic teammate had run off without saying goodbye. Figures, Sakura thought. She knew he was looking for an escape. He was bothered by something, and he was running away from it.

Sakura wanted to tell herself to suck it up. She'd been months with the rest of her team, but being without Sasuke was harder. She thought it was because of his attitude before he left, because of the explanation she never received. What was wrong with him? It couldn't be as simple as envy—that there was such a difference between him and his team.

Could it? Could Sasuke-kun really... feel _bad_ about his defection and _envy_ the rest of his team... for the trust the village put in them, for the honor they had, for the respect everyone gave them?

It didn't seem like Sasuke at all, Sakura admitted. After all, how many times had she heard him say that his path had been necessary? But she didn't rule it out. She had so few reasons in her mind that she was unwilling to part with any of them.

Another thing she had to come to term with: with Sasuke constantly in her thoughts, Sakura realized that she had become spoiled. She was used to Sasuke popping up randomly and escorting her home, because they both knew she was being reckless and self-sacrificing.

Of course, that was because of Naruto, Sakura mused. She was still disappointed about that. But was it so much for a girl to hope that her teammate, who had ever ignored her, had suddenly esteemed her worthy of attention? That he saw her as an actual teammate, someone who cared for him? Someone who was worthy and strong enough to be his teammate?

Full of those thoughts, Sakura stepped out of the hospital and into the early morning. Konoha's streets were abandoned, as they always were at this time. For the months Team 7 was gone, Sakura had become used to leaving work at this time. She would work as long as she could, as hard as she could. Sometimes she would sleep at the hospital, shower there, not bothering to go home.

Everyone else was busy when she started doing that. Everyone else was gone. The hospital became a decent distraction for her back then.

One good thing came from it: she built a reputation of being able to cure just about anybody. Sometimes people would travel to Konoha to have her look at them, treat them. There was never a shortage of work. She excelled in the hospital; she was lonely, but her success was some kind of consolation.

But as Sakura walked down the steps outside the hospital, she knew it hadn't been worth it. Not _quite_. If her team had been with her, she wouldn't have worked on that expansion project or argued with the Elders. She would have studied as a medical ninja and helped her village, of course, but wouldn't have chosen work over... _family_. At the time, though, there had been nothing else to fill the days.

As a result of those endless hours, Sakura had an opportunity present itself. As she swung into her apartment, she brought out the scroll Tsunade had given her all that time ago. The information was scanty, and there was little she could do to prepare for the patient's arrival.

That was what Tsunade wanted her to do. Another patient, already on her deathbed, was seeking one more doctor, one more aid in a last hope to live. Sakura had had a lot of those.

The patient was reaching Konoha in a few hours. Sakura's mind was so full of doubts and uncertainties about her team, about her surly teammate, she was almost thankful to have the chance at saving more one person. She intended to wake up in another four hours, ready to immerse herself in medical tests, chakra study, and caffeine.

Four hours later, she did just that.

The early morning light filtered through the hospital's opened windows when, heavy with exhaustion, Sakura walked past the receptionist. She was half in a daze.

"Sakura-san?" the receptionist called. "Are you alright? Maybe you shouldn't stay at work today."

Sakura shook her head and grabbed a lab coat. "I'm afraid not, Haruka. We have a new patient here today." She walked down the hall and up a flight of stairs, remembering which room to go to. Tsunade was waiting outside; and she wasn't alone.

Rina Sasaki.

Sakura eyed her patient for the first time, surprised. The patients that usually came to the village looking for help were wealthy, slovenly, older ninja. But the girl in front of Sakura was none of those things.

She was petite. When Tsunade introduced her, a small, dainty hand shook Sakura's. Her round, gray eyes were serene and observant. Rina's face was a soft one, framed with black hair that was braided into a long line down her back.

She was eleven. She was dying.

Sakura started the tests as soon as she could. A chill ran up her back when she looked at Rina, although nothing plainly betrayed her sickness. Nothing was noticeable except for the paleness of her skin, through which Sakura could see the winding trail of dark veins. There was a wasted expression on that youthful face, as if her tiny patient had felt more pain, more suffering, than any ninja ever had.

Rina sat primly on one of the hospital beds, at an eerie ease. "Sakura-san," she addressed, "is your clan well known?"

The childish voice, so sedated, so matured, made Sakura look away. "No, it isn't," she replied. "There aren't many ninjas in my family."

Her head titled to the side. "Oh, really? Strange."

"Is it?" Of course, Sakura knew it was. Without a proper clan, a ninja lacked a regular status symbol.

"It is," Rina confirmed. "Most ninjas hide behind their clan. They're confident to try being a ninja because their parents succeeded, or because they have an inherent gift."

Sakura smiled at her insight. "You think so?"

"I think so."

"Are you a ninja, Rina?"

Rina grinned, impish. "You're strange, Sakura-san. Anyone would assume that I'm not, considering my health. But if you were to ask, it would be better to say, 'Did you used to be a ninja, Rina?' or 'Did you want to be ninja?'" The smile faded and was replaced with that smooth serenity. "I wanted to be a ninja, Sakura-san, but I could not. Your answer is no."

"Being a ninja..." Sakura paused, wanting to comfort, but to be truthful as well. "Being a ninja isn't what everyone might suppose. There is more... heartache than I had thought."

"You must have been very brave," Rina said.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean all sorts of things," Rina started. "You started the Academy without a real clan. That's a much bigger step than starting _with_ a famous clan. You began without any reassurance, and your parents probably weren't happy with your decision."

"They weren't," said Sakura, smiling at the thought of her mother's astonishment all those years ago.

"But it's more than that." Rina looked down at her lap. "You're not just a ninja. You're a world-class ninja. My whole village knows your name. Because of your work, you're better known than ninjas with the most respectable clans."

"I wouldn't say so," Sakura denied softly.

"I would." Rina stared for a moment at a nurse, who pricked her, then Rina looked away. She was unnervingly accustomed to the nurses. "Sakura-san," she said, "do you have many scars?"

Sakura, as she rifled through the medical sheets, glanced at her patient. "Why do you ask, Rina?"

"Why does anyone ask anything? I'd like to know."

"I have some," Sakura answered, "but not as many as other ninja. Medical ninjutsu doesn't always leave a scar."

"Do you dislike having scars?"

Sakura simply shook her head. She couldn't say she disliked her scars, because she remembered each one. They had all been worth it.

"Are you happy that you're a ninja?"

"Yes," Sakura answered, amused with Rina's endless curiosity. "I protect my village, and the people I care about."

"Saving the people you care about—that's why you're a medic?"

"Of course."

"I wouldn't want to be a medic," Rina declared. "Too much death."

It was sad that someone so young understood that. "But there's a lot of life, too," Sakura contradicted.

"Maybe," Rina muttered. Her forehead creased as she looked out the window, pensive. "But are ninjas really full of life? When they live to murder?"

It was an interesting question, Sakura thought; that no one ever wanted to answer. "There's a difference," she began, "between protecting your village however you can, and murdering. I've seen murder. There's no sympathy in that, no reason. Just hate."

"And do you know anyone like that?"

Sakura's fingers hovered over the paperwork. "I did."

"They died?" Rina guessed.

"He changed."

"Is that possible?" Rina, with her neatly folded hands, stared at the ceiling. "Is it possible for someone to change that much?"

"Yes," Sakura replied firmly. She'd met a lot of people, who had changed drastically. Most of all, she answered in the hopefulness she had somehow retained through her years. She thought of Sasuke. "It's possible. Everyone deserves a second chance."

Rina's shoulders shook in a moment of laughter. "Maybe," she said again. "Maybe all the healthy ninja in the world will get a second chance. But I've already had mine."

Sakura didn't need to ask what she meant. Rina was operated on a year ago; all the doctors had agreed that it was her last chance. It hadn't worked.

"What do you think I have?" Rina suddenly questioned.

Sakura, hesitant, looked at her patient. "Poison," she said. Rina had the right to know, didn't she? And thinking she had poison had to be easier than thinking she had cancer, like her previous doctors had supposed.

"I haven't heard that one before. It wouldn't be unheard of, though, would it?" Rina talked about it flippantly, as if it weren't happening to _her_. "I'm from a rich ninja clan. I was going to be the heir. That kind of thing happens a lot, actually."

Rina's fists were clenched. "Are you in pain?" Sakura quickly asked.

With a short sigh, Sakura's tiny patient shook her head. "No, I'm used to the feeling of dying." When Sakura opened her mouth to speak—to say what, she didn't know—Rina shook her head once more. "No, you don't need to say anything. I don't need any comfort, either."

How was that? How was it that a girl this young didn't need comfort, when she knew she was dying?

"Sakura-san," Rina said, looking quiet and calm even as one of the nurses drew her blood. "I've accepted all this. I want you to know," she spoke decidedly, "that it's okay if you can't help me. I've heard about you, Sakura-san. Don't be sad, or disappointed if I die."

How can anyone be so ready to die? Sakura wondered, watching Rina's silent, sure gaze. A lump in her throat stopped her from answering. Dully she nodded.

* * *

Not ten minutes from the hospital, Naruto yawned, opening his mouth as wide as he could. He stretched on Sasuke's couch and patted his full stomach. Ramen cups lay around him.

"Oi, teme." Sasuke blankly looked up from his work with an eyebrow raised. Having Sasuke's attention, Naruto continued, "I haven't seen Sakura-chan; have you?"

Swiftly his eyes returned to the scrolls in front of him. "I just got back today, dobe."

Narrowing his eyes, Naruto sat up on the couch and watched Sasuke suspiciously. "I'm worried about her," he confided. "Even before you left, she seemed preoccupied, don't you think? Like she has her mind on something." Naruto paused, waiting for some sort of response.

"Ah."

"You don't think so? With how much time you two have had together, I figured you would've noticed."

No response.

But Naruto, not easily discouraged, forged onward with the conversation. "And you know, I heard from Kakashi, who heard from Anko, who heard from Shizune, who heard from Tsunade"—Sasuke snorted—"that some rich ninja came to the village a few days ago to have Sakura treat her. The ninja's sick with something."

Naruto watched in satisfaction as Sasuke's pen stilled over the parchment.

"It happens a lot, actually. I guess our Sakura-chan might be a little famous." Naruto felt a touch of pride, but it disappeared when he remembered what Kakashi had said. "Sakura's probably run herself into the ground by this point" He risked a glance at Sasuke. "You know how she is."

"And I also heard," Naruto added, "that she's really torn up about this patient."

At that, Sasuke looked up.

"Shizune said Sakura's been working non-stop, but she still hasn't figured out what's wrong. She'll barely sleep."

Sasuke only mumbled an unintelligible, noncommittal response.

Naruto got off the couch and threw his arms behind his head. "Of course, she'll be fine. But one of us should probably visit her. Just in case..."

Naruto left Sasuke's apartment feeling successful. Sasuke had _just_gotten back from his mission, so he felt a twinge of regret at drafting him to visit Sakura. But she needed to sleep, for once, and Naruto couldn't get her to go home.

And Sasuke had taken pretty good care of Sakura while he was gone. After all, Sasuke wouldn't resist the opportunity to swoop in and save a weary Sakura.

Would he?

Naruto shook that thought away. No, no way. Because really, who knew Sasuke better than he did?

* * *

a/n. i couldn't update on time because of my computer. so, i apologize for my tardiness! i'll update again this saturday. :) and a thanks to my awesome app. thirty reviewers. i'm so grateful!

**youko, jolteonforever, Kaze and Kiba, Lia113, Rokaro-Endor, LoveTheCrazy, Lady Rini, shkh4ever, Misery's-Toll, 17child-of-the-moon17, Deploringly, Hazel817, cutecookiechick, Sakura's Indecision, Dictionary Ink, SasuSakuKawai, boulder's sun, Sakura Hauno . . . CHA!, The Anonymous Reader, Unknown, Storms-winter, xFlawed Imperfectionx**, and **heya**.

(off topic. i bought the eclipse soundtrack. love "heavy in your arms," florence + the machine. LOVE.)


	14. Chapter 11

Sakura raised a bottle of sake to her lips.

Rina was admitted... five days ago? Shutting her eyes, Sakura tried to remember. All the days were blurry. She hadn't left the hospital very much, so she couldn't remember how many times it had been day.

A chakra signature appeared in her room. Transportation. She opened her eyes, ignoring the bright stars in her vision, and stared straight into Sasuke's hard, black eyes. His breath almost fanned across her face. Blinking, she tried to register what she was seeing.

"Sasuke-kun. What are you doing here?" Sakura whispered, too tired to voice her enthusiasm.

Leaning on her desk, Sasuke had both his palms flat on top of her notes. He moved backward before he sat on the edge of her desk. "I'm back from my mission," he stated.

Her forehead puckered. "I thought you were going to get back on Thursday."

Sasuke murmured, amused, "Sakura. It's Thursday."

"Oh," she said, nonplussed. It was Thursday already? So Rina had been here _six_ days. Six days and still no real progress.

"Sakura," Sasuke began, lingering over her. "What's with you?"

She waved a hand at her notes and yawned. "A patient." Sakura would have been content to leave it at that and just look at him (why did it seem like it had been so long?) but Sasuke was too nosy for that.

"You haven't said anything about a patient," Sasuke muttered disapprovingly.

"You didn't ask," Sakura said with a smile, thinking of when Sasuke had said the same thing to her.

He glanced at her, decidedly unamused.

Sakura watched him slide her papers around, trying to make sense of it. A string of words here, numbers and figures, and facts. He picked up the records next to his legs and fingered through the pages. Why didn't he look upset, like the last time she saw him? Sakura mused.

"She doesn't seem very well off," Sasuke remarked, after some time.

Sakura laid her head on the desk.

"Lapses in memory? Pains in her neck and back? ...She's been in a coma before?" Sasuke continued, incredulous. Reports from her previous doctors were in the file. He looked at the first, catching the word _cancer_ on the page.

Muffled by her arms, Sakura's voice reached his ears. "Most of them thought it was some kind of unknown cancer. I don't really think so."

"What do you think it is?" he asked, flipping another page. Enzyme count high, white cell count up, pH level off—

Sakura's white fingers wrapped around the page, pulling it out of his hands. Raising an eyebrow, Sasuke watched her rifle through the pages until she stopped at one. "I don't know," she admitted, staring forlornly at Rina's papers. "I thought it was a poison, but..." She rubbed the back of her neck, then frowned at the documents.

"You're staying here tonight?" Sasuke asked, suddenly changing topics.

She looked up, motioning toward her desk, and nodded. His black hair fell in his face as he shook his head. She itched to fix it.

"You won't be persuaded to go home?"

"I'm afraid not."

Sasuke smirked; it was a fleeting expression of amusement and vexation. "Alright. I'll see you tomorrow, Sakura."

"Wait!" she called, as he was about to leave. "You just got here." _Had_ he felt ignored before he left on that mission? In some way she was trying to make up for it. Perhaps her eagerness about Team Seven's return had come off as a little insensitive.

Sasuke looked inquisitively over his shoulder.

"So don't leave just yet," Sakura persisted. "Sit. Talk to me."

"About what?" Sasuke asked, turning around. He didn't move to sit.

"About you. Or me. Or anything. The subject isn't the point, Sasuke-kun."

"Then what is?"

Sasuke had an irking habit of making her fully explain herself. And it couldn't be because he found her confusing; Sakura was sure of that. "Our talking is the point," she replied. "Tell me, how are you? Are you hurt?"

His look was softening. But still he said, "I have to go to the Hokage's."

"Now?"

"Ah."

"You don't have ten minutes, Sasuke-kun?"

With a smirk he said, "You know Tsunade, Sakura. She'll have my head if I'm late."

"And I have a dying patient, Sasuke-kun, but I have ten minutes for you." Sakura gazed at him clinically. "Tell me, _are_ you hurt?"

Sasuke smiled at her.

The picture struck her so dumb that Sakura didn't protest when he slipped out her office door. The room was left in silence. Sakura wondered if something as worthless as her attention had really just made Sasuke Uchiha smile.

With downcast eyes she returned to her work. Sakura pursed her lips, glared at her notes. _Something_ was wrong with Rina's blood... But what?

* * *

There's always that one moment when she walks into an emergency room. That one moment where all she can hear is her own breathing, and her heart feels like stopping.

Sakura stood in the doorway for a second, feeling sick to her stomach, as she stared at the circle of nurses.

"Damn it," Sakura cursed as she pushed her way to the ANBU on the hospital bed. Her eyes settled on Sai's pasty complexion. The room smelt heavy with blood. "Get Tsunade," she snapped, not bothering to watch which nurse scurried out of the room.

* * *

Sakura laughed as she sat opposite of Sai. Hooked up to nearly every machine the hospital had, he didn't look so good, but he was stable. Tsunade was still in the room, double-checking all the machinery.

"Looks like he'll make it," Tsunade murmured, her voice all honey. She turned to her apprentice with a smile. "Feels good, doesn't it?"

Closing her eyes, Sakura leaned her head against the wall and smiled. Sai's heart monitor kept its steady beat, and at that moment, it was the best sound she'd ever heard in her life. He had lost _so_ much blood. Remembering the overwhelming smell, Sakura cringed. Her stomach turned.

"Are you alright?"

Sakura peered at her mentor, tired. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Tsunade folded her arms over her chest, thoroughly disbelieving.

"Okay, so I feel like shit," she confessed, a ridiculous smile on her face. She leaned on the window again, closing her eyes from the white-washed walls of the hospital. The glass was cold. The pat of rain against the window lulled her to sleep.

Sakura wasn't sure how much time had passed since she closed her eyes. It seemed later. She didn't hear anything. No doors opening, closing; no sounds from the lobby; no nurses checking on any patients.

Groggy, Sakura sat up in her chair and rubbed at her eyes. It felt very late. Maybe four in the morning? It was the time of night when everyone was asleep, when no one had any business to be up, when everything was still. As she stood up, Sakura felt her legs wobble underneath her. Her fingers were cold, and she felt unsteady. She hadn't eaten much since Rina came. Hadn't slept much, either.

She hoped to see Tsunade in the halls, but she didn't. With a despondent look around the lobby, Sakura decided she would just have to thank Tsunade for her help later. It would have been much more taxing to heal Sai by herself.

She waved at the night receptionist and shakily made her way down the hospital steps. Konoha was black. Night was a thick blanket in the streets. For a moment, Sakura couldn't see anything, could only feel. It was cold and wet. Rain seeped into her hair, and she shivered. Hugging her arms to her chest, Sakura trudged towards her apartment.

It was colder than she remembered. The rain was light and sluggish, but enough that she wished she had a jacket. Had fall suddenly made its way to Konoha while she was in the hospital? She rubbed her arms and, staring at the desolate streets, realized exactly where she was. Sasuke's apartment watched over her, loomed above.

But he was in, Sakura reminded herself, disappointed. It would be rude to barge in. But her apartment was still a little while away...

The wind picked up. Frowning, she ran a hand through her wet hair and made her decision. As the wind howled again, Sakura ran under the eave of the apartment building.

It was dark inside. The building creaked and groaned with the wind. Sakura wandered up the stairs and stood in front of Sasuke's door, hesitating before she jammed her key into the lock and leaned on the door to open it.

Sasuke rolled on his side when he heard his door open. With eyes half-shut, he waited in his bed, knowing instinctively who it was. His body didn't want to wake up: her chakra didn't alert him, or put him on edge.

"Sakura," he called, voice heavy with sleep.

As soon as she heard him say her name, a small part of her regretted coming. Sakura slipped into his doorway, trying to think of what to say.

Sasuke's eyebrows scrunched together when she didn't immediately respond. Half-asleep, Sasuke asked, "Sakura, what are you doing here?" She only used his apartment when he was gone.

"Ah," she began, leaning on the door frame. "There's a storm coming, and I..." She hugged her arms to her chest. "You don't mind if I sleep on your couch, do you?"

Sasuke opened his eyes, wearily looking at Sakura. Her soaked pink hair was pushed out of her face, still dripping water onto her shoulders. Groaning, Sasuke laid a hand over his eyes. "No, I don't mind," he answered without much feeling, already falling back asleep. "Oh, wait," he said to himself. He lifted his head. "Don't you want the bed?"

With a laugh, Sakura shook her head. "No, I won't be here long. The couch is fine, thanks."

He grunted and lay back down.

"Goodnight, Sasuke-kun."

* * *

Sakura opened her eyes five hours later, sick of sleeping. She had dreams the whole time—dreams of Sai and Rina and blood and poison. It had been one of those restless nights, like the kinds she had when Sasuke first left. Or when she was sick in Sasuke's apartment months ago.

_Sasuke._

She lifted her head and stared into the hallway. Reminiscent, she thought of the time she slept on the floor, when Sasuke was on probation, when he first moved. She never did ask what kind of wine she had.

"I'm not in there."

Sakura turned around and slipped her legs off his couch, startled.

She was about to say something, to fill the silence, but Sasuke continued, "And you didn't even bother with sheets." He eyed her, mildly reproving. "I could have taken the couch, instead."

"No, no. I didn't even mean to stay this long."

Besides, Sasuke-kun, Sakura thought to herself; how can I take advantage of your favors when Naruto _asked_ you to take care of me?

Sasuke rubbed the back of his neck and sucked in a breath. "You're about to go back to the hospital?" He leaned against the couch she was still on.

"Maybe," Sakura answered. More to herself than to Sasuke, she said, "But Tsunade probably already took care of everything..." That would be just like Tsunade. And she needed to thank Tsunade for helping with Sai. It was nice to have someone to help so much. Someone experienced.

"Everything?" Sasuke prompted.

She realized she hadn't mentioned it to him. "A lot happened." Sakura stopped, tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Sai came in from a solo mission, bleeding all over the ER. But he's fine." She needed to visit him today. He'll need another blood transfusion, too.

Her head sort of hurt. She had a lot to think about.

"I still have Rina Sasaki in the hospital..." Who wasn't doing tremendously well in the first place. She needed to go to the hospital and finish looking into the poisons. Maybe if she could find some similarities between Rina's condition and... and _anything_, she would have something to build on.

"Sakura."

"What?"

"Why do you," he paused to look at her, "take in patients from other villages? They can go to the doctors in their own village."

"Patients, if they pay more, can get quicker help in another country. Sometimes they do that because their own hospital is full or underdeveloped." Sakura shrugged. "In the beginning, I started taking low-risk patients for the practice. I was restless, because you all were gone—"

She swallowed, wishing she hadn't said that, knowing Sasuke hadn't missed it.

"But sometimes patients come looking for a better doctor, when the medics in their village couldn't help. Like Rina," Sakura finished.

He pushed his bangs out of his eyes. "So you're much better than most doctors, then."

She laughed. "I guess that would depend on the doctors I'm compared to." Sasuke snorted, as if the response was unsatisfactory, but Sakura didn't mind. How else does someone answer that?

When she stood up, Sakura felt the weakness in her body. She needed to eat: she was starving. Her hands shook, so she folded her arms across her chest. With one eye on the clock, Sakura tentatively said, "I guess I should go. I've got a lot of things to do."

She didn't want him to let her leave. She wanted someone to command her to go to sleep. Someone... comforting. It was a stupid thing to want, Sakura knew. She didn't need, or require that kind of support. She did well enough by herself. But sometimes she caught herself thinking, wouldn't it be nice to have someone?

She was losing her mind, Sakura decided. What was wrong with her? What did she expect of him, or anyone else? To be a mind readers? And even then, no one was obligated to care about her, not in the slightest. She could take care of herself. She didn't need anyone.

"Ah," Sasuke intoned, watching her with his speculating, thorough gaze. With a half-honest smile, she waved goodbye and stepped out of Sasuke's apartment, and into Konoha's streets.

* * *

a/n. a timely update! huzzah! thank you so very much to my lovely readers and reviewers:

**cutecookiechick, Dictionary Ink, Crystal Koneko, shkh4ever, 17child-of-the-moon17, LoveTheCrazy, Sakura's Indecision, Lady Rini, Hazel817, MidniteCurse4Eternity, Misery's-Toll, XxCrimsonNovaxX, The Anonymous Reader, boulder's sun, Unknown, Deploringly, jolteonforever, Original Blue, MYinnerNINJA, Lia113, Kaze and Kiba, Sakura Haruno . . . CHA!**, and **Maj15**.

and here's a shout out to the anonymous reviewers. you know, i started out as an anonymous reviewer on fanfiction. :)


	15. Chapter 12

a/n. (dedicated to my first three-hundredth reviewer ever: **LoveTheCrazy**!)

* * *

Another week went by.

Normally, Sakura would think, where had the time gone? As she landed on her fire escape and swung into her apartment, she thought the opposite. How had it only been a week? Time had been lazy, slowly making its through the days. She was just relieved to be _home_.

Oh, Kami, and her _bed_. Her glorious, wonderful bed.

"I don't think you ever use your door, do you, Sakura-chan?" Naruto greeted her, a large smile on his lips.

Sakura paused in front of her window. She looked around suspiciously. "What are you doing here?" Then she felt three other presences in her apartment and smiled, despite her enthusiasm to sleep. "Why is everyone here?"

Kakashi, she could sense, was by the front door; Sasuke was in the hallway adjacent to the kitchen; Sai was in the living room. Naruto, of course, was in her kitchen. Predictably, he had a cup of ramen in his hands.

"Hello, Sakura-san," Sai offered, with his regular smile.

Critically Sakura looked at his skin, noting the improvement in his color. He was recovering, little by little getting over all the blood loss. "Hey, Sai. You're looking better. Are you feeling stronger?"

He smiled a little wider, said yes, and thanked her once again.

"You shouldn't thank me so much, Sai!" Sakura exclaimed, moving to sit beside him. "Of course I'd help."

It was an itch she had: she rested her hand across his forehead, checking for the hundredth time if he had a fever.

Distantly Sakura realized she didn't hear Naruto's slurping anymore. He moved into the living room and slung an arm around her shoulders. "We're here, Sakura-chan," Naruto finally answered, "because we love you!"

Sakura laughed at his simplistic answer. "Yes, but why in particular?"

"Because his microwave broke," Sasuke replied. He strode into the living room, decisively occupying the same wall as always. He looked a little sour, Sakura thought.

Kakashi's head poked into the living room. Naruto suddenly yelled, "And I told you so, Kakashi-sensei! She came by the window!" Kakashi's lone eye rolled, and he returned his attention to the orange book in his hands.

Sakura looked at the ceiling. "So you're all here... because Naruto's microwave broke?"

Naruto shook his head. "Well, _I'm_ here because my microwave broke, but Sasuke-teme is here because I drug—"

"Dragged."

"—him with me." He threw his hands behind his head. "But Sai was already here because he has to ask you something. And I don't know why Kakashi's here."

Amused, Sakura sat down in one of her chairs. "Thank you for the update, Naruto. Sai, what did you want to ask me?"

"I have to get permission from you to go on a mission tomorrow," he stated, polite and efficient, true to his nature.

"Oh." Sakura frowned, not bothering to conceal her displeasure. For heaven's sake, he was just out of intensive care. "What kind of mission?"

"Retrieval. C-rank."

"...Alright," she answered, reluctant. He would be okay with a C-rank, but why did he have to go on a mission so soon? Tsunade knew his condition. "But you have to be careful." Sakura set her stern eyes on his. "You'll get tired quicker, so you have to be mindful of yourself. Okay?"

"Chill out, Sakura-chan," Naruto drawled as he flopped across her couch. "You're not at the hospital now, remember?"

Sakura rolled her eyes. She couldn't _stop_ being a medic.

"Speaking of the hospital," Kakashi smoothly interrupted, "how's your patient? I was in the Hokage's Office and heard about it." Kakashi looked up from his book and waited expectantly. "Rina, right?"

Sakura looked away, uncomfortable. "She's... I really don't know," she confessed. Rina's progress was slowly regressing. The medicines that had helped her mobility weren't working anymore. The worst part was that Rina had full control over her mental faculties. She was in her right mind. She saw and heard everything; she _felt_ everything, all the pain. She knew she was getting worse.

"That bad?"

Same Naruto. The sympathy in his eyes made her feel better, even if it was just a little. "Yeah. It's been two weeks, and it's like nothing I've ever... come across. I know I can't help her."

Rina knows that, too, Sakura thought to herself.

"But I just don't understand." Naruto's blond eyebrows scrunched together. "No one can figure out what she has?"

Restlessly Sakura stood up and walked into the kitchen. Sasuke's cool eyes were on her back as she said, "I can give it a name if I wanted to, Naruto. That's not the problem. I just can't cure her." It was a matter of time. Sakura knew, and so did Rina, that it was just a matter of time.

_I've heard about you, Sakura-san. Don't be disappointed if I die._

Rina was waiting to die. She'd already accepted it. That only made it harder on Sakura. Being a doctor to such a young, sweet patient that knew she couldn't be helped. It was hard being that doctor, just waiting to fill out the form, waiting to watch her parents come and get the body...

"It's okay, Sakura-chan," Naruto offered. It was the thought that counted, she knew.

Turning around, Sakura leaned on the counter top. "Yeah, I know."

* * *

Naruto's snoring was rhythmic, soothing, in some foreign way Sakura didn't understand. Maybe because it kept her apartment from its usual silence. It was just like listening to someone breath: it always put her to sleep. Sometimes she slept in the hospital for that reason, in the same room with a patient who needed someone to watch over him.

It was still raining. The thunder woke her up at three in the morning, and she couldn't fall back asleep. She woke up, sweating and breathless. Scenes from her dream replayed in her mind, enhanced by the sounds of the storm. The blue streaks from Sasuke's chidori; Naruto's skin covered with red aura; the bloody dirt on her fingertips as she tried to—

Sakura shook her head. The past didn't matter anymore. That was before he came back.

She let her eyes stray to the floor, where she expected to see both Naruto and Sasuke. Naruto, who had insisted he and Sasuke stay in the first place, was lying on the floor. His mouth was wide open; his hands were thrown behind his pillow. Sasuke, on the other hand, was evidently somewhere else.

For a small moment, Sakura wondered if he had gone home. But as she stared at the blankets still on the floor, she decided that if he were to leave in the middle of the night, his general sense of duty would make him pick up after himself.

Sakura closed her eyes. With a deep breath she searched the building for his chakra. It shone clearly in her mind's eye, wide and powerful and on the fourth floor balcony. Sakura slipped out of her bed and out of her apartment.

What could he be doing? At that thought, she halted in her steps, glaring at her feet. She was being too nosy. Maybe he just wanted to be alone. Pensively she closed her eyes once more and made sure he wasn't moving. He could feel her chakra, no doubt. He would have left if he wanted to be alone. Right?

She sighed and continued up the flight of stairs. Sakura didn't hesitate when she placed her hand on the cool handle of the door to the balcony. She was already here: she might as well see what he was up to.

Rain steadily fell. It ran down the gutters like waterfalls and blurred Konoha's streets. Sakura could see the hazy lights of houses and apartments shining through the downpour of rain. She wondered why anyone would be up.

Sasuke leaned against the apartment building, his hands in his pockets. With a soft click, the door was shut, and Sakura stood in front of him.

"Hey," she said, her voice low.

His eyes gazed at her without any particular interest. Quietly clicking her tongue, Sakura rolled on her heels. What to say?

"Sasuke-kun," she began. "Are you alright?"

His eyes still didn't leave hers. Passively Sasuke watched her. She felt like... prey.

Wondering, she began again, "Did the storm wake you up?" even though it seemed silly even to suggest it. As if storms scared Sasuke. He practically _was_ lightning. He could control the storm if he wanted to.

Sasuke shook his head, full of repressed mirth. A smile turned one corner of his lips upward. He opened his mouth and corrected, "No. You did."

"..._Oh_."

Sakura realized her mistake with a self-conscious smile. She should have known that after having such a _vivid_ dream, that she had talked in her sleep. She rubbed her arms from the cold and looked outside the balcony, looked into the rain.

"Sorry for waking you," Sakura apologized.

Sasuke nodded, but made no other response. He was silent and obviously thinking. Sakura scowled, and she immediately felt Sasuke's eyes on her lips.

"What are you thinking, Sasuke-kun?" slipped out of her mouth before she could help it. Why did he have to be so silent? It wasn't that he was silent that bothered her; it was that he was _so_, so silent. Didn't he ever have something to say? Why was he this reserved with her?

His eyes never once broke contact with hers. Did he ever feel uneasy or unsure?

"You never ask me that," Sasuke answered, matter-of-fact. And that was true enough.

"No, but I'm always thinking it." Sakura leaned forward. "What _are_ you thinking?"

Humor flashed across his face, then disappeared. The epitome of seriousness, Sasuke observed her, detached, before he answered, "I'm thinking of your dream."

"What about it?" Sakura whispered. What did it seem like to him when it happened? What had been running through his mind when he woke up...?

A sneer transformed his mouth into something unpleasant. "I guess everyone sees things differently."

Her eyebrows rose. She didn't understand. Sakura tried to piece together what he said and what she might have murmured in her sleep. Desperation for them—her boys—must have been in her words.

The sentence faltered in her throat before she voiced them. "Is there another way to see it?" His look turned contemptuous."Should I have wanted either of you to die?"

"Shut up, Sakura." The sneer was back on his lips, angry and condescending. "You can't understand what it—"

"And you can't understand what it was to _me_," Sakura snapped, because he was always so selfish when he talked about the past. Her hands fisted at her sides. "It was everything I loved," she recalled their ripped skin, "dying."

The dips in the earth had filled red. Her hands had glowed a murky color of chakra, because her skin was coated with drying blood. She remembered when she lost consciousness, when she woke up with only Naruto.

Her vision blurred. Sasuke's sneer vanished, but she didn't know if it was just her teary eyes.

Hurriedly Sakura wiped away the liquid from the corners of her eyes, not letting it fall. She folded her arms across her chest and stared at Sasuke's broad shoulders. Memories were heavy on her mind; it was hard to think. The sky thundered again, reminding her of the sound of Sasuke's jutsu ripping through—

She shut her eyes.

"I wish you would talk to me," Sakura whispered. "I don't understand what's been wrong with you."

There was silence at first. "You shouldn't have healed me," Sasuke finally murmured, bringing her out of her thoughts.

Empty, she looked up at Sasuke. "How could I have left you, Sasuke-kun? It didn't matter that—"

She stifled her memory. She tried not to see the anger in Sasuke's face, as he rushed to kill the one person who had ever understood him. She tried not to see the grim determination on Naruto's.

"I couldn't have sat next to Naruto and ignored you," Sakura said. When she swallowed, a familiar lump was in her throat. "You were _shredded_, Sasuke-kun... Your blood was on my knees. My _hands_."

A satirical smile spread on Sasuke's face. "But if I'd killed Naruto—what then?"

How could he even ask that? Sakura thought to herself. If there was one thing she knew, it was that she'd _always_ help him.

"Then you'd still be a missing ninja," she answered with bitterness, "because Naruto's the only person you've ever listened to, Sasuke."

* * *

She paused to wait for Kakashi's answer. Her pen was held delicately above the notes she was taking, which were duly neglected.

Kakashi was thoughtful and meditative as he replied, "Sasuke? Shouldn't it be obvious, Sakura?" He stood in front of her desk, book in hand, with a smile in his eyes. "You wonder how he is. He is what we would call," Kakashi paused and leaned forward, "feeling guilty."

Shaking her head, Sakura opened her mouth to disagree.

"No, Sakura." Kakashi politely refused her rebuttal. "I understand his pain. If he seems hateful, it's probably because he _is_ hating. More than anyone else, he can only hate himself for what's happened. Sasuke knows this, all too well."

* * *

a/n. i know this chapter is a bit shorter than normal, but that's just the way i ended up breaking the chapters. i'll have at least 23 updates in this fic, btw. and finally, thanks so much for your reviews, guys! 300! i hope you're still enjoying the story. :)

**XxCrimsonNovaxX, shkh4ever, Misery's-Toll, AutumnsFall, Dictionary Ink, cutecookiechick, MYinnerNINJA, 17child-of-the-moon17, Hazel817, magafilipina, Lady Rini, Strayedwolf94, Lia113, She Who Wishes On Dandelions, The Not So Anonymous reader, lily, LoveTheCrazy, Sakura's Indecision, AngelicSnow, MidniteCurse4Eternity**, and **saranghe01**.


	16. Chapter 13

Sakura sat on a stool with medical records in her lap. A machine beeped in sync with its patient. Sakura waited in the room with other nurses and orderlies, waiting for...

A long tone erupted from the heart monitor. For a moment no one moved. As if suddenly awaking out of a trance, nurses piled around the body, trying to revive her.

Rina's cool gray eyes opened, glazed and blank.

The nurses eventually had to give up. With a bitter taste in her mouth, Sakura left the room. She had forms to fill out.

* * *

Sakura walked out the Hokage's Office, feet dragging behind her. Tsunade had been even more supportive than she had imagined.

She wanted time off. But not just any time off. She wanted full-time off. Not part-time. But full-time _off_. It was a selfish thing to ask for: who would fill in for her? She had expected to have to bargain a little, to plead her case. But Tsunade was especially pliant today.

Maybe it was Rina or maybe it was the fact that Sakura hadn't taken any real time off in _years_. Then again, it didn't matter to Sakura. For once, she was going to get exactly what she wanted.

Children screamed and yelled as they played in the streets. It was daytime in Konoha, and Sakura lazily made her way to her apartment; she walked at snail's pace along the roofs. She spotted Ino at the flower shop, Kiba and his dog by the pet stand, and a class from the Academy on a field trip...

With downcast eyes, Sakura stopped where she was. From her perch on a balcony she watched the children run in circles. Her meeting with Tsunade was still fresh in her mind.

Angrily Sakura shut her eyes. She still didn't know why it happened. Rina's passive gray eyes came to mind, and Sakura imagined those eyes before Rina fell into another coma, all alone. Eleven years old, alone, dying. The thought washed away her anger. Her shoulders sagged, and she rubbed her eyes, wondering why she wasn't quite crying.

_Don't be disappointed if I die._

A yelp pulled her attention back into the streets. A little boy with sandy brown hair lay sprawled on the ground with eyes that were red from crying. Her legs were already moving toward him, but she skidded to a halt. She grasped a railing with a curious smile on her lips.

Sasuke looked darker than ever as he leaned down to the child. His mouth was moving, but Sakura couldn't pick up any words over the general clamor in the marketplace. The little boy rubbed his eyes. She watched Sasuke's outstretched hand and the boy's reaction.

In a swift move, the child was atop Sasuke's shoulders, suddenly heads above everyone else. Urgently he pointed to a woman. The child's eyes were glued to her form.

His mother, Sakura assumed. Sasuke weaved through the crowd and stopped in front of the woman. The child scaled down Sasuke's back and leaped at his mother.

Sakura finally saw his face and tried to remember... Hitoshi, she thought with a smile. He had broken his leg from climbing a tree a few months ago. She remembered his mother now: prim, proper, and carefully stern.

Hitoshi's mother smiled hesitantly at Sasuke. The sight made Sakura frown, knowing that as often as she forgot Sasuke had been a criminal, others didn't. Particularly civilians.

Sakura leaped off the building and landed beside Sasuke. She crouched down on her heels, grinning widely at the boy, and ventured, "Do you remember me, Hitoshi?"

The boy's forehead scrunched up, and he looked at his mother. Sakura smiled a little wider. He was as adorable as she remembered. He had round eyes, flushed cheeks, and a pouting rosebud mouth.

"It's Sakura-san. She healed your leg, honey." The woman's voice was velvet.

Understanding passed across his face, and Sakura began again, "No more broken bones, right? You've been good for your mother?"

"Yeah," Hitoshi answered, shyly hiding behind his hands. "Sakura-san," he added quickly, peering up at his mother with eyes that were eager to please. His mother laughed to herself and motioned toward Sasuke. Her velvet voice spoke again, telling Hitoshi to thank the man who helped him. Hitoshi did just that, bowing respectfully for a mere five year old.

Sakura watched as the pair left, feeling oddly jaded. She tried to shake off the feeling.

"Are you going soft, Sasuke-kun?" she teased.

His hair fell into his eyes when he shook his head. "I'm meeting with the Hokage."

"So you had to help any little boy that was lost?" Sakura laughed, even though disappointment was edging into her thoughts. Sasuke was probably about to go on a mission. There went her hope of eating with Team Seven.

He grunted softly, as if she were ridiculous. Maybe she was. "I'll see you later, Sakura," he said, already disappearing out her sight.

Her name slipped out of his mouth like honey. She tried not to dwell on that.

* * *

The next day.

The stars were bright outside Ichiraku's. It was near midnight.

Her break so far had been different than she expected. It wasn't boring, as she had imagined. When she had woken up this morning, she had realized what her apartment looked like. Sakura had stood in her living room, wondering when exactly it had become so neglected.

It was not sloppy, but it needed _sprucing_. The carpet needed vacuuming; the blinds needed dusting; the kitchen floor needed some scrubbing. So for the first part of the day, Sakura cleaned her apartment. She organized her books; she went to the marketplace; she finally fished through all her medical texts and notes. She slept. She dreamed of Rina again.

Her break was different than she expected, because she was being productive—for herself. It seemed like it had been a while since she'd done something like that.

Now at Ichiraku's, Sakura squirmed in her seat, anxious to leave. They had long finished eating, and Naruto just ordered a drink, and... and _oh_, how she wanted one.

Naruto noticed her pained expression and eyed his cup of sake. "What, are you..." His eyebrows drew low on his forehead. "Are you an _alcoholic_, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura shook her head, softly laughing. Well, she hoped not. "No, I just... When I _do_ drink, I drink too much. And I really don't want to have a hangover tomorrow."

But just one drop would taste so good... She craved.

"So just drink a little," Naruto said off-handedly.

"If it were only that simple." With a sideways glance, Sakura watched Kakashi take a drink and Sai, too. This was going to be too hard. The man behind the counter she didn't know. Recently she'd been trying not to eat this late, because this was when everyone wanted to drink. And her throat itched for sake. Whatever Naruto had, she could _smell_ it.

Shaking her head, Sakura stood up from her seat. Binge drinking because of the week she'd had would not solve anything. In the back of her mind, she admired her flash of determination, control. But as she watched Naruto finish his drink and turn around, all she felt was that weakness. The one that wanted some kind of comfort.

No, she told herself. She wasn't going there tonight.

Naruto held out his hand, practically yelling, "C'mon, Sakura-chan, don't leave so soon! I don't see you all that often."

"I know, Naruto, but I think it's time for me to go." She nodded at Kakashi and Sai and waved goodbye. "See you around." She marched down the streets, ignoring Naruto's brief exclamation of "_Sakura-chan_!"

The walk home felt abnormally long. Sakura couldn't figure out why. Her fingers were cold, and her chest was tight with something like anxiety. She debated on checking on the hospital. Did they need her? Then she frowned; no, no. No one was in critical condition there, and besides, it was her _break_, damn it.

For once entering the apartment building by the front door, Sakura trudged up the stairs. All the apartments were quiet, and the residents were sleeping soundly. She reached her door and swung it open. She hadn't locked it when she left.

Moonlight came in through her window. Sakura stood still in her doorway, staring at the smeared blood on her white windowsill. She scanned her apartment for damage, but found none. Except for the blood on the window, her apartment was how she'd left it.

She focused on her chakra.

Confused, Sakura wandered into her bedroom, looking for the chakra signature she recognized. She stared at the ANBU in her bed, with his hands folded on his chest, mouth parted in shallow, ragged breaths.

Sakura didn't breathe as she padded into her room, then sat on the edge of her mattress. She leaned over that warm body, and even though she already _knew_, she pulled off the porcelain ANBU mask with its winged design.

His forehead glistened with sweat. Softly Sakura leaned over him to touch his face.

"Sasuke-kun," she called, watching for some sort of response in his features. Worry was the lump in her throat. An ANBU mission; since when?

After a moment's inspection, Sakura saw no severe wounds. Cuts on his hands (blood on the windowsill), scratches and slits on his clothes, but nothing else. Her mind raced to the most likely option. Poison.

Sasuke suddenly groaned, reacting to the touch of her hand. He leaned into her palm and frowned. "My lungs," he moaned, his hands automatically fisting on his chest. "It wasn't this bad yesterday..."

Pink eyebrows shot up. "Yesterday?" Sakura whispered, incredulous. He had waited that long? He was going to get a talk when he was over this. "Come on, Sasuke-kun," she persuaded, gently rolling him onto his side. "Do you remember what color the poison was?"

He scowled, lips white as snow. "Green." His voice was unsure, as if he were remembering a short glimpse, a quick look at it before it was in his blood.

Sakura bit her lip and fingered the locks of dark hair falling across his face. "What hurts?" she coaxed, thinking of the poisons she knew.

Despite his condition, he snorted, managing to sound impressively indignant. Sasuke grumped, "_My lungs_, Sakura. I already told you—" His murmurs gradually faded into incoherent sounds, then into tortured mumbles.

Silently she eased off the bed and flew into her kitchen.

Kaminari; she was almost positive. But where had he been? That poison was almost unheard of. And undeveloped, too. It was one of the crude poisons used in the First Ninja War. Who used that anymore?

The antidote for this could only do so much. The poison, with the help of an antidote, would fade out of his system in... He was infected yesterday, so it should finish its course by evening. Sakura felt a flare of annoyance. What, Sasuke didn't know how to ask a medic for help?

She pulled out the herbs she had in her kitchen and sifted through the ones that could help with the pain. She heard Sasuke in her room. He let out a displeased huff and rolled over. Guilt settled in Sakura's chest: no matter how much medicine she gave him, the poison would remain until evening. She mixed up the ingredients that she had with her chakra, sighing, and walked back into her bedroom.

Sasuke's back faced her.

"Sasuke-kun," she whispered.

Resting her hand on his forearm, Sakura tugged him upwards into a sitting position. Like the last time he was sick, he sat up and with a deep, scornful scowl, glared at her as well as he could.

Despite herself, she smiled. "Drink this." She held the cup up to his lips, but he snatched it away and drank it himself, gulping it down quickly. The rejected cup was placed back in her hands, and he lay down, panting from the exertion.

Sakura leaned closer to see his face. She laid her hand over his and squeezed his cold fingers, staring at the long, sooty lashes on top of his cheekbones. With her other hand she touched his face again. Pain made his face paler than normal.

Carefully she healed the cut under his left eye, then traced the line across his jaw.

Sakura reached under her bed and pulled out a blanket. Gingerly she laid it on top of him before she retired to the chair in the corner of her room. There she sat with her arms around her legs, and listened to Sasuke's shallow breathing until morning.

* * *

Sasuke woke her up, for about the tenth time. He tore off his ANBU vest and yanked his shirt over his head. He fell back onto her sheets, after he roughly kicked off the blanket.

Groggily Sakura stared at his strong back. She blinked and rubbed her eyes, then glanced at her alarm clock. 4:21. She looked back at Sasuke. He had a fever, she thought to herself sadly. She was hoping the medicine she gave him would be enough to prevent a fever.

His chest heaved up and down in his breaths, like he felt suffocated. Sakura sat on the edge of the mattress and laid her hand across his hot forehead. As she pushed his bangs away from his face, Sakura sat there another moment and watched his face twist in discomfort.

The rag she laid on his forehead wasn't helping much, Sakura noted, ten minutes later. She had reclaimed her chair because he rolled around so much. He couldn't seem to stay still. With an irritated and impatient sigh, Sasuke opened his eyes. His hand touched at the rag on his forehead.

"Sakura," he rasped, remembering where he was.

She moved to his side. "Yeah, I'm here..."

Sulkily Sasuke knitted his eyebrows together and looked at her. "Can't you do something?"

He sounded pitiful. Sakura's heart wrenched. The one time he asked her for something, she couldn't really help.

Quickly she laid her hand on his forehead and focused chakra into her fingers. Sasuke closed his eyes. Ignoring his protest, she withdrew her fingers and grabbed the rag by his head. She dipped it in the water by her feet and ran it over his face, his arms, and his chest.

"When will it be over?" Sasuke mumbled sleepily.

She grabbed another rag and placed it on his forehead. With her hands over his chest, Sakura channeled her chakra into his lungs. "Soon."

* * *

It was dawn before she fell asleep again. Sasuke remained half-conscious until quarter to six, shortly before she nodded off. He muttered insensible things for that hour and a half, to himself and to her. About kunai and grocery stores. About pyromaniacs. About birds and about Tsunade the one time he interrupted her drinking.

He's _never_ talked this much, Sakura thought to herself, amused. Half of what he said she couldn't understand, but what she did understand ranged from gossip to the ridiculous.

"I feel light-headed," Sasuke groaned, all of the sudden changing topics. His voice slurred. "From blood loss."

"You're not bleeding," Sakura reminded him. She was kneeling beside her bed, her head pillowed on top of her arms. Her voice was muffled, but Sasuke still seemed to hear it.

"Hn." He didn't sound particularly convinced, though.

Throughout the time he was awake, Sakura realized, through trial and error, that when Sasuke was delirious it was hard to convince him of anything. There was nothing that could change his opinion on anything, no matter how silly his opinion was. It was unexpected for her—that Sasuke could be so entertaining when he was out of his mind.

Sasuke rolled over again, this time facing her. "Do you think Kakashi is sleeping with Anko?"

Sakura popped her head up and rested her chin on her arms. She laughed, "I really wouldn't know, Sasuke-kun." Since when was Sasuke concerned with Kakashi's sex life?

"I think he is," Sasuke murmured, his voice fading like a dying fire. In another moment, his eyes closed and his breathing slowed. Sakura shook her head, smiling, and tried to fall back asleep.

Morning was just on the rooftops. Sakura closed her eyes and slept until noon.

* * *

a/n. since i'm going out tomorrow, i updated early! :) and to my great reviewers who are SO supportive and kind:

**cutecookiechick, AngelicSnow, Kaze and Kiba, LoveTheCrazy, shkh4ever, innocentxdesire, callmeclueless, 17child-of-the-moon17, XxCrimsonNovaxX, Deploringly, boulder's sun, Hazel817, saladandpeachesandcream, Lady Rini, Misery's-Toll, Unknown, jolteonforever, Lia113, The Note So Anonymous Reader, saranghe01, Dictionary Ink, magda, QuotingShakespear, Sakura's Indecision, MYinnerNINJA**, and **MidniteCurse4Eternity**.

btw, some of you asked about another sasuke chapter. there is one more!


	17. Chapter 14

"Sakura... Sakura."

A sigh.

"_Sakura_."

Sai. Rina. Sasuke. Her temples ached. The distant flat tone of a heart monitor—

Sakura awoke with a frown. As she opened her eyes, she squinted at the light in her room, then yawned. Sasuke crouched in front of her, impatient as always. He held a rag in his hand, and he was still shirtless. His ANBU uniform, Sakura noticed, was in tatters. Slits littered the fabric.

"Yes?" Sakura answered. She licked her lips and rotated on the floor to face him. Her dream still played in her mind. With a critical eye she looked him up and down, anxiety twisting in the bottom of her stomach.

"I was just letting you know that I'm about to leave."

Sakura blinked. "What? No you're not." A phantom of hysteria lingered in her system; adrenaline from the dream.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow in challenge.

He opened his mouth, but she interrupted, "One, you're probably still sick." Although, she had to admit that he was looking incredibly alert and well. "Two, you lie in my bed and expect me to take care you, and then leave? I don't think so."

She shook her head; there was no debate in this. She was going to have her way.

"I'm going to give you a check up, and you are going to eat here, and you are going to rest today," she continued, leaving no room for an argument. "I did not watch over you last night for you to up-and-leave as soon as possible."

A shred of guilt passed over his face. But that wasn't enough to stop Sasuke's stubbornness. "Sakura, you can't make me stay here."

"Oh, yes I can, Sasuke-kun." She stood up, a note of finality in her voice. "Believe me, I can. Besides," she moved on smoothly, "although Naruto doesn't need to sleep here often, he at least stays the morning after I heal him. And you're not _worse_ than Naruto, are you, Sasuke-kun?"

She met silence. Victoriously Sakura spun on her heel and opened the door to the bathroom.

"Shower," Sakura said. "And hand me your clothes when you're done, too." She happened to be a fantastic seamstress.

"Then what am I supposed to _wear_?" she heard him grumble as he walked into her bathroom.

Sakura huffed. "I've got clothes around here, you know. Yours, Naruto's, and even some of Kakashi's." She didn't miss the wondering look on his face as she turned around and headed to the kitchen. "Towels are in the cabinets," she called over her shoulder.

Sakura walked down her hallway. Stopping, she stared at the blood on her floor. She'd forgotten about that. After searching through her kitchen, she returned with cleaning product. The sound of her running shower filled up the apartment as she scrubbed the floor.

Sasuke emerged from her bathroom several minutes later, a towel draped around his waist. Water beaded on his legs and dripped onto the floor. He slipped behind her door before reappearing, fully clothed.

Sakura sat back on her heels and blew a piece of hair out of her face. "I see you found clothes." His, in fact.

Idly he towel-dried his hair as he approached her. When he stopped in front of her, Sasuke looked around the room. "I didn't realize that..." he said, almost regretful.

"It's alright," Sakura interrupted, waving her hand. She felt jittery; she was almost thankful for something to do. "It's not much. Why don't you go into the kitchen and eat?" Standing up, she dusted off her clothes. At Sasuke's disgruntled look Sakura urged, "No, I mean it."

She shooed him into the kitchen before she scrubbed off the blood on her windowsill. By the time she finished, Sasuke was back, hawk-like as he observed.

"I'm not going to faint, Sasuke-kun, if that's what you're thinking," she said, remembering the time he was almost her shadow.

When she turned around to throw the rag in her washer machine, Sasuke shook his head. "No, that's not... You're different," he told her. It sounded like an accusation to her ears. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," she answered quickly. Too quickly. She didn't feel like filling him in on anything that happened while he was away. And what a week it had been.

"Why aren't you at work?" Sasuke pursued.

Sakura folded her arms across her chest, wondering why he was so curious. "Because I took work off. That's good, remember?" Last time she checked, that's what everyone _wanted_ her to do.

"You never take work off."

"That isn't true."

"Hn." Sasuke shifted to his other foot, thinking. "Why were you out so late last night? I'd been here for an hour before you showed up." His brooding features were in effect. His eyebrows were scrunched together, as if he were deep in thought.

Sakura side-stepped the question as well as she could. "I was eating with everyone." Everyone was, of course, the rest of Team 7. "Are you going to criticize me for not being here? Because you decided to start dying on my bed?"

"Don't be annoying, Sakura." His eyes narrowed, and his lips parted, this time in a real accusation. "You got drunk, didn't you? Naruto doesn't eat that late. He only drinks."

"I didn't know you were that acquainted with Naruto's habits," she remarked, walking past him into her kitchen. Rather offended, Sakura added, "And why would you assume that, Sasuke-kun? I've never been drunk around you."

"That isn't an answer, Sakura."

"Your answer is _no_," she stressed. "As a matter of fact, Sasuke-kun, I did not drink last night." Sakura was proud to be able to say that. Because she had really wanted to, and because she was in her right mind when she found Sasuke.

Evidently her word was not quite good enough for him. "You didn't?" he voiced, stepping in front of her.

"No, I did not."

"Then what's wrong with you?"

With a scoff Sakura turned to her refrigerator. "I've already told you: _nothing_."

Sasuke grabbed her arm, pulling her back. "You seem... nervous." His lips fell into a frown. "Sad."

"If I am nervous, maybe it's because you're interrogating me," Sakura supplied, pulling her arm of his grip. "I'm fine, Sasuke-kun." She leaned into the fridge and pulled out an apple. "Really, I am."

Was it just her, or did she sound unbelievable?

Sasuke moved behind her. She could feel his heat on her back.

He hesitated. "Your patient died."

Her quiet apartment, full of wanton cruelty, echoed with his voice. Sakura shouldered past him and sat at her counter, apple in hand. "Two days ago," she said, curt. "I don't want to talk about it."

Sasuke nodded and glanced out the window. At length he asked what she was doing for the day.

"Meeting with Tsunade." Sakura let her thought process move on to other things. Gratefully she turned her thoughts from the hospital and Rina to the meeting with Tsunade. It was quarter to one now; she needed to be at the Hokage's Office in half an hour.

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow. "Work?" he guessed.

Sakura hummed an affirmative.

"What time?" he continued.

"1:15."

"Ah."

"What?" Sakura angled her chair toward him, crossed her legs, and threw the apple core into the trashcan. "What do you know that I don't?" she asked, suspicious.

"It's nothing."

"Don't give me that."

Sasuke shrugged. "I don't know. I think I'm," smirking with ridicule, "in trouble. I'm supposed to meet Tsunade at the same time you are."

Sakura scratched the back of her neck. "Why do you think that is?"

"I don't think the Council wants me going on ANBU missions."

Her mood plummeted. "One more thing for the Council to bitch about. Tsunade's going to have a time with that." She rubbed her eyes. "And I wonder what's wrong with me now."

The last thing she wanted was the Council on her back again. The _very_ last thing.

Sakura snapped her eyes open. "ANBU," she said to herself. She looked up at Sasuke and began her interrogation. "Speaking of ANBU missions, Sasuke-kun, what the hell did you do yesterday?"

"You know I can't tell you."

"Don't be a smart ass," Sakura snapped, a scowl on her pink lips. She was well aware of ninja protocol. "I came home and found you bleeding on my bed. I stayed up all night to heal you, Sasuke-kun. The least you can do is explain."

He smirked at her rambling.

"It isn't funny. Do you have to be so damn smug about it?"

His tone was instantly patient, endlessly so. Good-humored, even. "Don't you think you're overreacting, Sakura?" he asked. "You heal people all the time."

The nerve of him! "Sasuke." His name, unfinished, tasted strange on her mouth. "You're not _people_. What is it about you and Naruto? Is it so hard to understand that I _worry_?"

Suddenly he was inches in front of her. "You don't think you're overreacting? At all?" he murmured, looking down at her. His eyes smiled.

Sakura turned her head away, indignant. "You're selfish. You're irresponsible. You're never careful. It's the same with all of you; you're never careful."

Sasuke's fingers touched her hair. "You were worried," he said, his mouth set curiously. It was ambivalence that she saw: his eyes were torn between seriousness and amusement.

Abruptly uncomfortable, Sakura stared back at him and wished he wouldn't stand so close. It made it harder to be angry. "_Yes_," she hissed. "Yes, I was worried. What if I hadn't known how to help you?"

"Don't be ridiculous," he said with a snort. Sasuke removed his fingers from her hair, backed away, and leaned against the opposite counter top. "It's almost one," he said, changing topics. "We need to leave."

Sakura swallowed and took a deep breath. It didn't help. "Yeah," she said, expecting the very worst.

An actual smile graced Sasuke's lips. "You're in a terrible mood." His teeth were white, perfect.

Sakura slid off the stool and dusted her clothes off. "Why shouldn't I be?" she returned. "My teammates are all reckless; my week's been shitty; and I'm about to be raked over the coals."

* * *

The floorboards creaked: Sasuke shifted next to her. Tsunade hadn't said a word. For Kami's sake, the look Sasuke gave her was almost pitying. This was mortifying.

Inexperienced? Not fit to run the hospital? Negligent?

Irresponsible, her ass.

The meeting had started with Sasuke. The Elders weren't happy he was doing ANBU missions. They said that he hadn't proved himself enough, that it was a risk for the village. "What if he misrepresented us? What does it look like to have a traitor working for us?" they had complained.

Sakura could have strangled them.

She couldn't help herself after that. Fighting with the Elders had become too natural; she had debated them more times than she could count. Rising to the bait was instinct. But arguing with them didn't help her case. It just drew their attention away from Sasuke. In retrospect, the Elders didn't need Sasuke in the room while they "raked her over the coals" as many times as they could. In her own mind, though, she guessed it was another form of punishment.

The infuriating look of self-righteousness in eyes of the Council. It was _agonizing_.

But that wasn't the worst. What was most infuriating was that Sakura couldn't deny anything. It was true that the hospital wasn't on top of everything. And that _did_ reflect on her more than on anyone else.

It didn't make her any less angry, though. Although their facts were straight, the Elders twisted the circumstances. They talked about the hospital's deficiencies, but not about who had cut the budget. Or who had taken basic medic training out of advanced ninja courses. _She_ certainly hadn't done those things. The Elders had!

With a nod Sakura left the meeting. She didn't make a sound until she finished that _damn_ paperwork they were so concerned with. Ten hours later she returned to the Hokage's Office and set the bound papers on her teacher's desk.

Officially her time off was over. She was required to spend as many hours as possible to make up for lost time. All the while she had to prove her worth to the Elders. After all, she allowed a wealthy ninja to die under her care. Didn't she realize how that made them look? Because that's all that mattered, wasn't it? It didn't matter that it was an innocent girl that had died. Not one bit, she had thought to herself contemptuously.

It was past night now. Sakura trudged through the alley to her apartment. It was two... three, four? It didn't matter.

Her anger had long faded. There was a limit to how long she could maintain any rage. All that was left was that aching feeling—like she lacked something in her life; like what she had wasn't enough.

Sakura bit her lip and closed the window behind her. She sat on the sill and didn't move. There were ANBU check ups tomorrow. Maybe no one will die tomorrow, Sakura thought. Just maybe.

There was no light in the apartment, but she could feel him.

"Sakura," Sasuke stated, sounding just as close as he felt.

"Sasuke-kun." She clasped her hands in her lap and eyed Sasuke, who looked as tired as she felt. "You have a check up tomorrow. I'm sure you know, but I know, too. So you can't skip out."

Sasuke folded his arms across his chest. "You got everything done?"

"More or less. What did they make you do?"

His bangs fell in his face. She was close enough to fix it if she wanted to. "Mostly paperwork."

Sakura laughed. "I can relate," she said sleepily, as she closed her eyes and sighed. "And Sasuke-kun..." She opened her eyes with a tentative smile. "Sorry for being in a bad mood. You know, this morning."

"That isn't worth an apology." Sasuke shook his head. "Don't you think you have enough reasons to be in a bad mood, Sakura?"

Rina's serene expression flashed in her mind, and Sakura looked down at her feet. "But none of that is your fault, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke's index finger touched the bottom of her chin and forced her to look at him. "I'm sorry about your patient," he said softly.

It was concern in his eyes. When she felt her eyes water, Sakura turned her head. "It's fine."

"You're a terrible liar," he almost sneered. "It isn't fine. _You're_ not fine."

"I've lost patients before, Sasuke-kun. I'm fine."

"It wasn't your fault," Sasuke continued, unconvinced by her denial. "No one thinks it's your fault."

"I'll get over it, Sasuke-kun; I always do," said Sakura, as she watched him inch closer to her; "but don't tell me it isn't my fault. I was her doctor. It _is_ my fault."

There was a snarl in his reply. "Don't be annoying, Sakura. You know everyone had already labeled her dead."

The heat from his body jumbled up her thoughts. She found herself looking at his impassioned gaze, and saying, "You would have liked Rina."

Sasuke didn't seem to hear her. "It isn't your fault," he repeated, as if sensing her disbelief. "Nobody blames you."

A fugitive smile came onto Sakura's face, as she thought of her conversation with Kakashi. "I appreciate it, Sasuke-kun, but..." She laid one hand over his burning chest. "If you're going to tell me that, shouldn't you forgive yourself?"

To her surprise, he didn't remove her hand. "That's different, Sakura."

"We forgave you," she continued, staring up at him. "I know I forgave you a long time ago. So why do you blame yourself for everything?"

Hatred, disgust, shame—they all flared in his eyes. Sasuke averted his face, and when he looked back at her, his face was molded back into its apathy. "Why would you forgive me?" he answered coolly.

"You came back," Sakura replied.

"Hn."

"Coming back was the same as admitting we meant something to you." Sakura's voice was lowered to a hush. "Life is full of grays: you did what you thought you had to. It was a mistake," she said pointedly, "but we all make mistakes."

Nothing gave him away. He held himself in perfect indifference.

"You can't blame yourself for our decisions, either," Sakura continued, lost in her own thoughts. "Life hasn't been easy... but we decided to follow you; we decided to be the way we are. We all chose this, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke looked down at her hand on his chest. He held it in his own for a moment, almost thoughtfully, then put it by her side. He stepped back. Sakura felt the air rush between them, and the his heat leave her body.

"Wait," she said, avoiding his eyes. "Sasuke-kun... What are you doing here?" Another question was burning on her mouth, waiting for her to ask. Waiting to be answered. _Why are you still checking on me, when Naruto's back?_ But she didn't have the nerve to ask it.

"Hm?" Sasuke responded. He leaned his head down, and suddenly he was close again. She could feel his breath on top of her head.

"What are you doing here?"

He hesitated before he answered. "Tsunade wanted me to check on you."

Sakura's eyes closed. "I don't mean to... sound ungrateful, or anything, but you don't have to do me any favors. Just because Naruto asked you or Tsunade or whoever," shaking her head, "doesn't mean you have to look after me. I've spent plenty of years without anyone."

She had spent plenty of time by herself in Konoha. She was _used_ to being alone now. Not to say that she didn't enjoy his attention—because she did.

Why was he standing so close to her? Sakura finally wondered. She looked up and his eyes, unabashed, locked with hers. "Sasuke-kun?" she asked.

A couple strands of his hair touched her cheekbone. "I don't do anything because someone asks me to," he replied arrogantly. "Especially not for the dobe."

Sasuke backed away from her. He whispered a good night and disappeared.

The apartment fell into silence. She sat there, listening to the room's emptiness, before she pushed off the window sill and headed to bed alone.

* * *

a/n. to my totally great reviewers! (whom i love terribly so.) thank you for those long and thorough reviews, everyone!

**Dictionary Ink, 17child-of-the-moon17, jolteonforever, Dustland-Fairytales, LoveTheCrazy, Lady Rini, shkh4ever, Deploringly, Kaze and Kiba, Moonwaterpetal, The Not so Anonymous Reader, Storms-winter, AngelicSnow, RinarinaXP, cutecookiechick, Crystal Koneko, saranghe01, BlazeUchiha, boulder's sun, Misery's-Toll, TigerLilyette, AGENT KELL, Unknown, Lia113, Sakura's Indecision, Little Lady Lime, Original Blue, MidniteCurse4Eternity, bloomwillzoe, Dear Aerith**, and **Sairalinde Inwe**.

so i have this crazy idea. i have 150+ alerts and WOULDN'T IT BE COOL if everyone reviewed? so this is what i'm asking: **for everyone who clicks on this chapter to review**. THIS YOUR TASK, FF-ERS. i'd love to see how my little experiment turns out. and it'll only take a moment, you busy souls! ;)

humor me?


	18. Chapter 15

**a/n is starting off the chapter this time around. :)**

i'll begin here: my computer glitched while i was editing this, then turned off entirely. so i lost my original edits. i did the best i could to re-edit, though. i hope you enjoy the chapter, everyone! there are many scenes in this. and there are a few time breaks. chapter warning: fluff.

MY EXPERIMENT'S OUTCOME: out of the 150+ alert-ers, i got 68 reviews! :D sure, that isn't everyone, but i'm ecstatic. i really am. thank you, participators! i was so surprised with the flood of reviews i got in the first two days. and your kind reviews really gave me some morale. XD

without further adeu, here is the chapter. it goes out to reviewer #400: **Unknown**! that's right; this anonymous reviewer snagged the spot!

R  
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* * *

Her alarm clock beeped at her.

Sakura lifted her pink head over her pillows, then dropped a loosely curled fist onto the snooze button. "Eight already?" she said to herself. With sluggish limbs she pushed her sheets off her body and rolled into a sitting position. The floor was ice cold, and the morning was bright through her window.

Sakura stared at her floorboards before grabbing the alarm clock and finally turning it off.

Routine: a hot shower, a cold breakfast, and a lukewarm feeling about work.

Sakura arrived at the hospital in a half-hour. Immediately the receptionist hailed her over to the front desk. "Sakura-sama!" greeted the receptionist. "How are you doing? We've all missed you."

"It..." Sakura faltered. "It hasn't been that long," she said, dumbfounded.

"It just isn't the same without you," came the sweet reply. "But we can catch up later. I'm sure you remember that today we wrestle with the ANBU."

"Wish me luck," Sakura said, laughing. After shrugging on her lab coat, she fixed the lapels and shook her hair out from under the collar. She began her walk to the south side of the hospital.

ANBU check ups. Sakura sighed as she rounded the corner. An army of ANBU crowded the room; they lined the walls, took up the seats, and sat on the floor. These check ups were monthly hassles, but as much as the ninjas complained, they got off easy as far as Sakura was concerned.

As soon as the ninja saw her, a few groaned. For a ninja, check ups were so often that it _was_ bothersome, Sakura would admit. But there was no reason to be such children!

"That time again," she offered, motioning for the first ninja to follow her. "The sooner we start, the sooner we finish." The nurses were already in the adjacent rooms, ready to take a few themselves. That would help. Several times she had to do all the physicals herself.

Maybe she was being unfair to shinobi, Sakura mused. They weren't that bad about complaining, were they?

She took back that thought once physicals began. Physicals were universally disliked. No one liked to be prodded. Nearly every patient vocalized some sort of discomfort or irritation. Shikamaru was among the ANBU she treated. He sat down with the air of a martyr.

"_What a drag_."

Sakura smiled. "It'll be over before you know it."

And somehow, every time she said that, no one believed her.

For the next two hours, there was no break in the steady flow of ninja. When Sakura had a moment alone, she peered into the waiting room. It was almost empty.

But that only meant one thing: the obstinate were left.

"Come on," she persuaded. "It doesn't take long."

The last fifteen or so always took the longest: they required an inordinate amount of time and encouragement. After another ninja exited her room, Sakura tapped her feet against the tiles and waited for the next one. How many had she done? There couldn't be more than two or three left...

"Next!" she bellowed, rather tired of begging each and every ninja (ninja, for goodness' sake!) to suck it up and deal with a tiny, incomplete physical. And she was so close to finishing, too.

When footsteps echoed in the makeshift waiting room, Sakura raised her head. Instinctively she knew who it was.

_I don't do anything because someone asks me to._ Sakura ignored the evasiveness in that answer, and concentrated simply on how her spirits soared when she thought of it.

"So you didn't skip out. You get an A."

Sasuke walked into the room and sat on the table in front of her. "Ah."

"You don't seem very impressed with your A," Sakura continued, feeling her mood lift at seeing a familiar face. On top of that, he was probably going to be her last physical. "When did you get here? You weren't in the room when I came."

Sasuke paused just before he yanked off his shirt. "A couple minutes ago." He shed the clothing and tossed it on the table lining the opposite wall.

Sakura lifted her stethoscope to her ears, then pressed the ends to Sasuke's chest. She listened to the drumming of his heart: _lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub. _

"Inhale," she commanded, moving the chest piece to the side. "Exhale."

After breathing again and again, Sasuke looked at her imploringly. "How long will this take?"

Sakura chuckled. "You can't be impatient already; we've barely started."

Sasuke was a tolerant patient, though. He suffered in silence, at least. Fairly well, he bore the mundane things: checking his chakra, checking his ears, feeling for his organs, reflexes, etc. He started to slide off the table when he thought she was done.

Sakura held up a hand. "Wait, I have to look at your eyes. It's the last thing I need to do. Promise."

With slumped shoulders Sasuke settled back in his seat. He followed her instructions to look at her shoulder. Taking his temples in her hands, Sakura channeled chakra into his retinal tissues.

"I can tell you've used the Mangekyou. I'm going to need to treat it a few times." She tilted his head up and closed her eyes. "Your Sharingan should be your last resort, Sasuke-kun. There shouldn't be any damage from its regular form, but... it'd be easier on your eyes if you tried not to use it."

Sasuke's voice interrupted her medical advice. He didn't appear to be too concerned about it. "Why do you close your eyes, Sakura?"

"Hm?" She opened her eyes. Sasuke's stared into hers, bemused. "I can't very well _see _into your eyes, Sasuke-kun," Sakura answered with a smile. "Now close your eyes again. It's easier that way."

"It doesn't make any difference."

Ah. He'd been studying. "You're right," she said. "It doesn't make a difference. But it's easier for me when you're not staring. Now close your eyes."

Sasuke snorted, but did as she asked.

Sakura waited another moment before venturing, "You... You have a new scar." Certainly he did. It was a twisted looking thing, only an inch long of scar tissue on the right side of his ribs. A small shurikan.

"Hn."

"What from?" she pursued.

"Fighting."

Sakura tried not to roll her eyes. "Not what I mean. Why didn't you ask me to heal it? Medical jutsu wouldn't have left a scar for something like that."

"I didn't feel like going to hospital for it."

"So I'm still not an option?"

Sasuke's eyes suddenly opened, strikingly black as he accused, "Don't you think you do enough?"

Sakura didn't have time to answer before he asked another question.

"The scar on your back—what's that from?"

Sakura, as she channeled more chakra into his eyes, frowned. Then she remembered all the times Sasuke had watched her back as she changed. "It's actually on my stomach, too," Sakura replied, guessing which scar he was talking about. She had many, but only one that was particularly noticeable.

She could feel his eyes tense under her fingertips. "You were impaled?" he asked.

Sasuke's tone was hard to understand. She couldn't figure out if he was angry, remote, or horrified. "Mm-hm," she hummed, not knowing what else to say.

"Who?"

"Sasori." It had been a long time since she had thought of that. Sakura retracted her hands and folded them behind her. "I didn't fight him alone, though."

"Did you kill him?"

She just nodded. It was odd to say yes to that. It had been a while since she had... since she had killed.

"Can I see it?" Sasuke questioned.

His interest confused her. After lifting up the hem up her shirt, Sakura traced the short line of raised skin. It was a mere light pink, hardly a memory of what it once was.

To her surprise, Sasuke brushed his fingers against the scar, once, twice, before he turned her around. She felt his touch on the opposite end of where the blade had run her through.

She looked over her shoulder at him. "Why so curious?" she voiced, watching him trace the scar another time. When he pulled his hand back, she turned around.

"No reason," Sasuke eventually answered, just as he slid off the examination table. He towered over her shorter figure; her head came just to his chin.

As Sasuke reached behind her for his shirt, his bare skin touched her nose. Heat rose to Sakura's cheeks—and she could not understand _why_ she was so embarrassed.

Sasuke took a quick look at her face. After he left, Sakura realized he had _laughed_.

* * *

Sakura stifled a yawn as she slipped through Sasuke's window that night. His apartment was silent but for the furious scratch of a pen, diligently recording findings and reports and facts. Sasuke sat in front of his table, hunched over his scroll.

Sakura drifted into his living room. Stopping in front of him, she laid a pair of glasses onto his table, directly beside his hand.

"Such a stubborn man," she murmured disapprovingly. After rounding his table, Sakura flicked on an additional lamp and called over her shoulder, "Wear them. I'll repair your eyes again tomorrow."

She heard him drop his pen and pick up the spectacles. A sigh.

"I mean it," Sakura added with a smile. Then she slipped out of his window once more, into the cool night.

* * *

Sakura marched into her hospital office, an ebullient spring in her step. She swung open the door and strode to the front of her desk.

Despite all the noise she made, Sasuke was not distracted in the least. At his own leisure he looked up from his book and glanced at her. "Yes?" he asked coolly, since she was obviously waiting for his attention.

Sakura could not fight the smile off her face. She set her papers on her desk, then gathered up another stack of paperwork. The daunting supply of work she had did not faze her. She was too happy. "Do you who I saw today?" she chirped.

"Am I supposed to guess?" Sasuke replied sarcastically, already returning to his book.

"I saw Yoko."

"Am I supposed to know who that is?"

"Stop that!" Sakura chucked a book at him. Sasuke caught it in one hand, while flipping a page of his book with the other. "You know very well who she is, Sasuke-kun," said Sakura. "She lives beside you."

"Ah."

"And she told me a story today."

Sasuke looked up, giving her his best "get on with it" glare.

Sakura smiled. "You know what she told me."

Yoko's husband was a chunin. Yoko constantly talked about her husband, always worrying about his safety. In Grass Sasuke happened to find him. A puddle of tears, Yoko had managed to tell Sakura her husband's story: he would have died if Sasuke hadn't saved him.

"You didn't have to do that," Sakura said softly.

Sasuke flipped another page. "Are you telling me to leave the next one for dead?"

"No," she denied. "No, it was just very heroic of you, Sasuke-kun."

His name came out much too sweetly. He gazed at her with a keen, speculative look.

"All I wanted to say was," Sakura paused, still smiling for all she was worth, "that I'm proud of you."

A glimmer of contentment passed over Sasuke's face. For a moment the tension in his body slackened, and he looked like he were almost about to smile. But Sasuke was never open for long. His walls fell back down into defense.

Sakura took that as her cue to move on. "And you've captured Yoko's heart forever," she transitioned; "she was talking about you to all her friends."

"Great," Sasuke muttered. "That'll make her husband like me."

Sakura laughed, full of mirth. She was so deliriously happy—with Sasuke. People liked to tell her the good things he did; and lately, that was becoming more and more often. She _was_ proud of him. His progress, his potential excited her.

Sakura hummed as she worked her way through her paperwork. When she was almost finished, she heard Sasuke's book shut. He took off his glasses and regarded her. He made no pretenses about his blatant staring.

"What?" Sakura asked. Was something on her face?

"What happened?" he asked.

"What do you mean? Nothing happened."

Sasuke leaned back in her chair, nonchalant in his observance. "Something good must have happened. I know _I_ can't be the reason for all this happiness."

Sakura blinked. Then with a cheerful smile she teased, "You shouldn't doubt your powers of persuasion, Sasuke-kun."

"Hn."

Sakura diverted her attention back to her work, but Sasuke continued to watch her. After five minutes of his unbroken attention she looked up and remembered a recent night. Sakura grinned wickedly. "Do you know what I just thought of, Sasuke-kun?"

He eyed her smile. "There's no telling."

"You know," she said, her eyes twinkling with delight, "you're terribly entertaining when you're delirious. Did you know that, Sasuke-kun?"

At first, Sasuke threw a blank look at her, as if to say "What are you even talking about?" Then he rolled his eyes, remembering that he'd stayed at her house, delirious, just a little while ago.

"I've never heard you say so much," Sakura declared, almost gleefully. "You started mumbling about Kakashi-sensei and Anko's sex life."

Was it just her or did Sasuke look embarrassed?

"You sleep talk," he retorted.

She just laughed.

* * *

Sakura didn't bother clocking out when she left the hospital. Not that she ever did, because there was little point when she was almost always at the hospital. But she especially had no reason tonight.

Double shifts. She couldn't remember the last time she ate. But that didn't matter so much; everything was caught up. It surprised her. She plodded down the front steps and couldn't remember a single time when everything was completely caught up. The files on the border problems on the east side, which had been stacked on her desk for weeks, were done. All the ANBU check ups were taken care of earlier that week. Paperwork was filed as it was printed. Patients were happily snoozing in their respective beds.

Sakura turned around at the bottom steps and faced the hospital, a perplexed expression on her face. It was an alien thought—to think, this hospital, her hospital, was running very well at the moment. Not hanging on, as it so often was. But running. Well.

She began to walk to her apartment, but hardly noticed the ground beneath her. Somehow she wasn't tired, though. It was a lethargic pain, one that her body evidently wasn't registering anymore.

Her apartment shed its shadow over her; a guardian. Sakura climbed up the fire escape, ignoring the loud clinks she left in her stead, and opened her window, slipped through it, closed it.

She blinked in the darkness and reached for the light switch. "Sasuke-kun, what are you doing here?" She hadn't seen him in days. "You weren't supposed to be back until Friday."

He ran a hand through his hair. "Sakura. It's Friday," he replied. The look on his face reminded her of the last time this had happened.

"Oh," she whispered as she moved toward the couch he occupied. "Then what about my first question?"

"My eyes hurt."

Sakura stopped in front of him and leaned down, gently touching the sides of his face. Part of her was happy he asked for her help, in so many words. The other part was disappointed. Because of the mission, she hadn't had the chance to finish healing him.

"How much?" she asked after a pause.

His Adam's apple slipped further down his throat as he swallowed. "They hurt," Sasuke answered, with a gruff and coarse voice—not at all like the smooth baritone she knew.

Sakura glanced at her refrigerator and quickly retracted her hands. Sasuke, on instinct, let out a soft sound of protest. "One second," she said, padding into her kitchen. After collecting a glass of water, she handed it to him, chiding, "You're doing a fantastic job of taking care of yourself, Sasuke-kun. Your eyes, and dehydration."

Sasuke took the glass with as much dignity he could. "You've never been one to talk," he remarked in between swallows. "How long were you at the hospital this time?"

Who knows? Sakura thought to herself, having lost track of the hours. "I'm not completely sure. But I don't feel very tired."

He set the glass on her counter, and Sakura returned her hands, glowing green, to his temples. "Well, you look it," he said. "And you'll feel it tomorrow."

"So reassuring, Sasuke-kun."

He smirked. "Ah."

In ten minutes she finished. When Sasuke blinked, the unmistakable look of relief was on his features. He scratched the back of neck and muttered a low thanks. She nodded and handed him the glass once more, then strode into her room, already removing her red shirt.

Self-consciously she closed the door and dressed. She changed into a dark blue shirt and black ninja pants before opening the door again. Sakura looked into her mirror and patted at her hair, thinking of Sasuke's comment. _You look it._ Did she?

Sakura spun around as Sasuke pushed his way into her bedroom. He stopped at her window.

"What are you—"

"Nothing," he answered quickly. "I thought I felt someone." Sasuke glanced at her face before returning his gaze to her window. "I think I'm still paranoid from house arrest," he added, a bashful edge to his voice.

It took her moment to realize that he half-meant it to be funny. Sakura laughed. "It wasn't that bad, was it? We replaced the other ANBU after a while."

His chest expanded in a deep breath. "Yeah," he paused, "you did."

"That was actually Naruto's idea." She folded her arms across her chest and sat on top of her bed, legs crossed Indian style.

Sasuke finally turned from the window and propped himself against its sill. His hands hid neatly in his pockets. He eyed her blankly, studiously. "How is the hospital?"

A smile grew on her face. It didn't seem like much to someone else, but Sasuke was being as close to considerate as he could. "It's better, thank you for asking," she answered cheerfully. She stared at his shoes and added, "No one died... the entire time I was there."

Sasuke nodded. But even he didn't know how much death she really saw.

Sakura tucked a hair behind her ear and grinned. It was unnatural, her mood. She shouldn't be as happy as she was. She opened her mouth to continue, but was cut off by a yawn. Sasuke set an amused look on her, and Sakura giggled, feeling even more lightheaded than she had.

"I guess I am a little tired," she said dizzily.

To her dismay, Sasuke thought she wanted him to leave. He shifted toward the door. "Get some sleep then."

"Sasuke-kun," she called from her bed. "You're going home?"

His face: carefully void. "...Should I stay?"

Maybe it was that lightheaded feeling. Her judgment was flawed, but she ignored that fact and watched him, honesty in her eyes, in her clear and direct gaze. "I'd kind of like it if you did," she confessed. "Just a little while."

She was crossing some invisible boundary, Sakura knew. But she didn't care. If he wasn't looking after her for Naruto's sake, then she could ask him to stay. If he said yes, it wasn't because he had to.

Baffled—that was his expression. Sasuke took a second to respond. He raked his fingers through his bangs, pushing them out of his face. He hummed, or something like it, and sat down in the chair opposite her bed. She felt something change between them as she chatted for another half an hour. But she was too satisfied and too content to think twice.

Her eyelids grew heavy. She smiled and curled, catlike, in her bed. In a moment Sakura felt asleep, never finishing her sentence.

* * *

It was bright, sunny outside. The wind picked up, rustling through the leaves and whispering at her window. Sakura blinked and lifted her head, peering around her room until her eyes landed on Sasuke. She glanced at the clock, then lay down once more, stretching her legs under the covers.

She smiled into her pillow, wondering if she had ever slept so well. The fatigue, of course, helped that, but she gave Sasuke some of the credit. Her apartment, creaking and empty, kept her up a lot of the time. She decided she liked having someone in her house.

Rolling onto her back, Sakura stared at the ceiling, reluctant to get up. The clock in her living room ticked loudly, counting off the seconds she wasted. She bit her lip, hesitant, before she sat up.

Sasuke groaned in the chair he had occupied all night. "You can't be _leaving,_" he muttered.

Something must be wrong with her today, Sakura thought to herself. She brushed Sasuke's bangs out of his face and kissed his forehead. Sasuke abruptly woke up. His eyelashes fluttered against her chin as he opened his eyes.

"Thank you for staying, Sasuke-kun," she said, her words softly breathing across his skin.

"Hn," she heard him while she walked into her bathroom. Quickly she slipped on some clean clothes, having already taken a shower at the hospital, and hurried into her kitchen. With toast in her mouth, she finally returned to her room and and stopped in front of Sasuke.

"When are you getting up, Sasuke-kun?" she questioned, about to set the alarm clock for him.

He had moved into the center of her bed, limbs taking up the majority of space. He really was very tall, Sakura thought. She forgot how tall he was sometimes.

"Sasuke-kun," she persisted. Leaning over him, Sakura shook one shoulder. One of his eyes opened, only to glare, but Sakura ignored it, reiterating, "When are you getting up?"

"I don't have anywhere to be," he grumped.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "I guess I'll see you around, then." With the image of Sasuke lying in her bed, she left her room and headed to work.

* * *

A few days passed.

Sakura tramped through the muddy streets. By the time the rain let off its weeping, she was lumbering up the staircase to Sasuke's apartment. If she remembered correctly, he wasn't due back until morning. Oh well, she thought. She was too tired to care if he was in or out.

His apartment was quiet. She welcomed the darkness of the room. Lightly Sakura rubbed at her aching temples as she toed off her shoes at the door. She fumbled down the hallway, heading to Sasuke's bedroom. There she gazed at the clothes on the back of his chair. With a groan Sakura snatched off her own wet shirt and dressed in a rumpled shirt of Sasuke's. It fell mid-thigh, and the high collared neck slid off her right shoulder.

After ridding herself of her weapons, Sakura collapsed onto his bed. The sheets, like his shirt, were soft. Despite her exhaustion, she took the time to hug the covers to her chest, and cower down into the sheets. It smelled of him. It smelled of pine, and something else she couldn't place.

The clouds cried just before she fell asleep. She heard the lulling tap of the rain, then nothing. Midnight slipped by, undisturbed. Sakura awoke at one in the morning, with heavy-lidded eyes. She looked around Sasuke's bedroom, wondering what had woken her up.

"Go back to sleep," Sasuke ordered.

He stood in front of his desk. With artful fingers he undid the clasps on his vest and tore off the clothing. Sakura sank back into his covers as he yanked off his shirt. She observed the lines on his defined back, the muscles flexing while he undid the weapon pouch on his leg. He ran one hand through his hair, then hooked a thumb into the waistband of his pants. Whether it was out of embarrassment or respect, Sakura averted her gaze until he had changed.

The mattress dipped with his weight. Sasuke had pulled on another pair of pants, but nothing else. As he lay next to her, he said, "You've got my favorite shirt."

Sakura turned to lay on her back. She let her head loll to the side, to look at him. "Oh, I do? Do you want it back?" The shirt's wide collar slouched down the opposite shoulder from her movement. She hiked it back up.

"I'm sure I can make it through the night, Sakura," he replied, as if he thought her nonsensical.

"You don't need me to leave? I know I'm..." Sakura's eyelids closed. Her voice slurred. "I thought you were coming back in the morning..."

"Just go back to sleep."

"Mm," she hummed, shaking her head. "Tell me..." Sakura, trying to stay awake, wrinkled her nose. "Tell me about your mission."

Sasuke grunted. "Go to sleep."

"Where did you go?"

"Grass." He covered his eyes with his hand. "It was escort."

Sakura chuckled; the sound was husky with her sleep. "An unpleasant rich man? With no manners?"

"Ah."

"Then again," she added, "that's every client for an escort mission. Somehow they're all the same..."

"Sleep, Sakura."

"In a bit. Haven't seen you. Want to talk..." Her sentences became less distinct, less coherent.

"We'll talk in the morning."

"Sasuke-kun...?"

A sigh. "What?"

"I don't want to sleep yet."

Sasuke, with jerking motions, lay on his side, facing her. Sakura thought she could feel his frustration, pulsing like heat from his body. "You can barely stay awake. So go to sleep."

"I don't want to," Sakura insisted. She flopped to her side, shoving one hand under her pillow, and tried to open her heavy eyes. "I feel too good to go to sleep."

The bed was comfortable; the sheets were soft; the apartment was dark and quiet. Sasuke was with her.

"Besides," she mumbled. "I'm too cold to fall asleep now."

"You're an annoying woman," Sasuke accused. His hand touched the small of her back, and he pulled her toward him. Sakura was just close enough to feel his warmth, for her legs to brush against his; but far enough away to see Sasuke's perfect, relaxed face.

Didn't it feel like they were... together? She was in his bed, and he'd come home from a mission. He'd lain next to her, without any unease. A chill ran over Sakura's skin. With a jolt she realized it was pleasure.

Sakura tucked her head a little toward him, just inches from his chest. She dreamed of him. In a moment of weakness she dreamed of him—in a way she'd scarcely allowed herself, since she was just a child.


	19. Chapter 16

"I'm going on a mission?" Sakura repeated, disbelief tainting her every word. "This is definitely unexpected."

As she poured herself more sake, Tsunade simply shrugged. "I don't have another option. I know the Elders won't like it, but—"

"I'm the only one qualified," Sakura supplied, having heard this several times. "Let me guess. Some underdeveloped country has unexplained, widespread poisoning?"

Tsunade laughed. "I didn't know I was becoming so predictable."

"Not you. Everyone else."

Tsunade took a sip of sake, with a profoundly tired expression on her youthful face. "Another poisoning," she muttered. "They're endless."

"Yeah, I noticed," Sakura said with a frown. "It seems to be growing in popularity, doesn't it?"

After expelling a long sigh, Tsunade downed the rest of her drink. "The good news," she rejoined, "is that there are capable, trained medics in the world. Like you. Whatever it is, I'm positive you can fix it."

Rina's gray gaze. Rina's _dead_ gray gaze. "I wouldn't be so sure," she murmured thoughtfully.

"Too much confidence can be fatal, Sakura. But too little confidence can be crippling. Keep that in mind."

"How are you so sure that I'll cure them?"

Softly Tsunade shook her head. "Sakura, you'd be amazed at how much faith I have in you." She pulled out a scroll and held it mid-air. "Although, I'm not saying that this will be easy."

"Is it ever?" The missions Sakura got were never easy. If she received a mission, it was because no one else had the slightest chance of success.

"A group of three expert medic ninja are camped outside Waterfall's hidden village," Tsunade explained, ignoring Sakura's comment altogether. "I don't know all the details, but I do know that the number infected is the majority of the village population. Their medics haven't had any luck in finding an antidote. So little luck, in fact, that they're not even sure it's a poison. They said they've never seen anything like it."

"And that's where I come in."

"Precisely." Tsunade tossed her pigtails behind her, then leveled her hazel eyes on Sakura. "And so my only question is, do you accept your mission, Haruno Sakura?"

She held back a smile. "I was beginning to think you'd never ask."

* * *

It had been some time since Sakura had traveled like this. The adrenaline, the hollow sound of the wind in her ears, the dull thumping of the branches against her feet... she had almost forgotten. She'd been cooped up in the hospital for so long, it was like she had lost the reckless kunoichi side of herself.

The trip to Waterfall was long but refreshing. She enjoyed the run, the reliving of old careless days.

But when she entered Waterfall territory, she left her cheerfulness behind with every step. The forests there were dark and shady, menacing in the constant night. The trees were so thick that they intertwined in front of the sky, forming a green archway above her head. It was pitch black. Everything was damp with dew and covered with moss.

She had forgotten what Waterfall was like. It had been years since her last visit.

But Sakura had always had a good mind, an exceptional memory. She found the hidden village with relative ease. After scouting its perimeter, she spotted a rundown house, whose five gables speared into a thick of trees. It was a long building that stood nobly erect, despite its many years. The front had a row of windows, which looked out at her with doleful, shadowed eyes.

Sakura maneuvered through the thick vegetation. When she arrived at the house, she rapped three times on the front door.

It was a rather gloomy place to stay, she thought.

The door swung open. Out of the dismal black appeared two vivacious blue eyes, a mop of blond hair, and one feral grin.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto roared, picking her up the waist and spinning her in the air. "Sakura-chan, Sakura-chan, Sakura-chan!"

A full smile bloomed on her face. "Naruto!" Sakura cried, hugging him tightly. After a moment she released him and found herself on the ground once more. "What are you doing here?"

"Man, I've been waiting forever for you to get here!" Naruto grinned, as he scratched the back of his unruly hair. "I've been so bored!"

"You knew I was coming?"

"Yeah, Tsunade delivered the message this morning."

"Then why hadn't she told _me_?"

"Tsunade didn't think I'd still be here," Naruto remarked. "I've got a mission in Grass, but I decided to stay put until tonight. Plus, she wanted to keep me a surprise. I mean, really. What a great surprise I am!"

Laughing, Sakura stepped into the gabled home. Within moments she rammed her hip into a side table. It was such an ill-lit building; she stood still for several seconds, trying to adjust her vision. There was only one light, and it was in the adjoining room. Blindly Sakura traveled toward the yellowish circle of light.

"I know," Naruto grumbled. "They didn't bother installing many lights in this dump."

Sakura shushed him. "You shouldn't say those things. You could offend them."

"But it _is_ a dump. Look at this place; it could crumble any minute."

"It's probably an old manor," Sakura whispered. "One that belonged to a prodigious, now deceased clan. Villages will sometimes renovate those manors and turn them into safe houses."

Naruto snorted. "Doesn't look very safe to me."

Tentatively Sakura peered into the kitchen, squinting at the fluorescent glow on the ceiling. Her gaze descended on the three medics. They hunched over a table, with frowns and puckered brows. They all looked up when Sakura entered the room. There was a unified sigh of relief.

"Thank Kami," one said. "You're finally here."

All three of them ushered her to the table and showed her their notes. Sakura scanned over a few of their writings. Every sentence, every observation grew more and more familiar. She looked up at them in shock.

"I've seen this before," she said dazedly.

"You have? You know the cure?"

"No, I don't know the cure," she replied, as she sat down at the table. Sakura glanced through the rest of the report, then raised her hand to rub her temples.

"But you've seen it," one insisted. "That should help. At least you know of it."

"Yes, I... I know of it."

"And the patient? What happened to him?"

"She died."

_I've heard about you, Sakura-san. Don't be disappointed if I die._

Sakura took a deep, shuddering breath.

* * *

During the next few days she worked relentlessly, and alone. Since the Waterfall medics lacked the experience to help, she instructed them to take care of the sick, while she studied in the kitchen. This was easiest: no one was in the other's way.

Naruto kept her company. Although he usually remained quiet, giving her the luxury of silence, he couldn't always contain his effervescent energy.

"Sakura-chan," Naruto started "If you'd put that stuff down for a second, we could spar!"

For the first time in days Sakura smiled. But that was how Naruto was; there were few circumstances in which he failed to make her smile. Nevertheless, she replied, "I believe we have a job to do, Naruto."

"Five minutes of sparring, Sakura-chan! Not even five minutes?"

"No, not even five minutes."

"I know that you're busy and that this is important," sighing, "but I can't help myself, Sakura-chan. Waterfall is _boring_! I want an exciting mission!"

"Boring?" Sakura echoed. "We barely have an hour to ourselves before another rogue ninja comes knocking on our door."

"Yeah, well, those amateurs aren't challenging enough."

Naruto was right about that; the rogue ninjas were hardly a challenge. But that was because they, too, had been infected with Rina's poison.

"You have to admit," said Sakura, "that their numbers are impressive. Waterfall is crawling with missing ninja."

Naruto pumped his fist into the air. "I could take on a thousand by myself, Sakura-chan! Believe it!"

"Oh, I do—"

Chakras. Sakura snapped her toward one window, frowning in concentration. In her mind's eyes, she could see fifteen ninja scattered throughout the trees. But these chakra signatures weren't like the rest.

"Sakura-chan," Naruto whispered. "Is it just me, or..."

"No, these are different," Sakura affirmed. "These ninjas aren't poisoned."

His apprehension faded into an easy grin. "Doesn't matter," Naruto declared. "All the more fun for us."

Together they bounded out the windows. Sakura didn't have time to pull on her gloves before five ninja appeared in the leaves of the forest.

Naruto let out a peal of gusty laughter. "It's a shame there aren't more of them, Sakura-chan!"

Rolling her eyes, Sakura deflected an oncoming blow. The ninja slammed into a tree, then crumpled to the floor. As another two rushed at her, she sent a well-aimed senbon at each. The poison that lacquered the metal sizzled in their bodies. They dropped like flies, suddenly lifeless.

To her left Naruto kicked one ninja to the ground. "Sakura-chan," he griped, "you got more than I did!"

"Be faster next time," she advised with a smirk.

"Haven't you ever heard of _sharing_?"

Sakura laughed aloud. "They aren't crayons, Naruto!" she yelled, as she leaped into the forest. She left him behind and rushed to meet the enemy ninja.

As she entered a clearing, a kunai whizzed by her face. She smelled the poison on it as it went by. Lunging forward, she pounded the ground with a chakra-enhanced fist. The force blew dust up into the air. The forest shuddered. Sakura, from her perch on a tree, glanced at the bodies strewn beneath the upheaval. One man's face was crushed between boulders.

She looked around for Naruto. Sakura raked over the forest with her chakra, feeling for his. In seconds she found his chakra signature underneath a thick of underbrush. A few ninja circled him.

Fine, she thought with a smile; she'd _share_.

Leaving Naruto to his own fights, Sakura jumped onto the forest floor. After dislodging a couple of massive stones, she leaned over a corpse. He was still warm.

No headband, Sakura noted. It would be natural to assume they were another pack of rogue ninjas, traveling through their homeland. But if so, how had they escaped the poisoning? People from miles around had been infected—people who had never met, never seen each other. The poison had been far-reaching, almost inescapable.

How was it that these ninjas were healthy?

With deft fingers Sakura searched through his vest. She found weapons, scrolls, and several poisons. She plucked one purple vial. After uncorking it, she held it up and wafted the scent toward her nose.

This was not an ordinary poison; its ingredients could only be found in one ninja land. And these ninja were no ordinary rogue ninjas. Not rogue ninjas at all.

These were Sound ninja.

But she had no more time to think. Sakura looked up into the trees, sensing the two chakra signatures that approached her. In turn, she tucked away her own, concealing it completely. She edged forward, into the heart of the forest's darkness, and waited with bated breath for the rogue ninjas to pass her.

As Sakura pulled out two poison senbon, the two ninjas stopped. There was no movement for one soundless second. Just the gentle rustling of the leaves.

A choked scream resounded in the forest. A man, Sakura assumed, plummeted through the wall of trees and slapped against the hard ground.

Naruto was still behind her...

Who was fighting?

The attacker's chakra was hidden. It was hidden well, but even so, Sakura could feel the lingering streams around the body. It was whirling chakra, wide and powerful. Storming. Comforting.

Jumping from her hiding spot, Sakura released the pressure she'd put on her chakra. A sword shrieked as its owner pulled it from the sheath. A blade was drawn toward her neck. Two murderous eyes glared at her own.

Her heart skipped a beat—not in fear, but in delight.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun, is this how you greet a teammate?"

Instantly the sword left her neck. Sasuke stared at her with stupefied wonder. Although Sakura was surprised herself, she had to laugh at his perfect amazement.

The second ninja rushed at Sakura. Still amused, she dodged his erratic assault and neatly slit his neck with her kunai. His two crazed eyes shut as he fell.

Poisoned, Sakura concluded. Like the others.

Unperturbed, Sakura glanced at Sasuke and smiled. "This is a nice surprise," she chirped. "Tsunade didn't tell me you were coming."

Suspicion wavered over his face. Sasuke stepped away from her.

"What are you..."

The Sharingan. His hostile eyes drank in her appearance. But just as quickly, his gaze returned to a calm black.

Sakura laughed. "This isn't genjutsu, Sasuke-kun."

_Sasuke-kun_. As the name slipped out of her mouth, she realized she wanted to say it again and again. She'd missed him, during their short separation. She hadn't seen him in about a week, due to one of his missions. Before coming to Waterfall, she hadn't been able to tell him goodbye.

After a long pause Sasuke relaxed and walked to her with slow steps. He still looked wonderfully bemused. When he reached her, he took one lock of her pink hair between his fingers, and scowled. "I must have hit my head."

Again she laughed. "You aren't hallucinating, Sasuke-kun. I'm really here."

Did she imagine the flash of satisfaction in his eyes? The flash of... happiness?

* * *

Sakura returned to the camp with Sasuke and Naruto. But as soon as she opened the door, she had to leave all her pleasant feelings behind. A chorus of low moans erupted in the house. With a swear Sakura took off down the hallway.

After rounding a corner, she popped her head into the first room on the left. A medic rushed to tell her that everything was alright. "Just a few flare ups of pain," he assured. Sakura released the breath she'd been holding, and walked back to the kitchen.

"You're back!" Naruto exclaimed. "What was all that about?"

She bypassed the blond, sat down at her table, and leafed through her pages. "It's fine," she said in an absentminded tone. "Just some pain." They'd all complained of pains in their limbs and back. Slowly they were losing their mobility, like Rina had. But the rate of atrophy was higher this time... It had taken Rina two months to get into the stage the villagers were in now, after one week of illness.

A snowy hand tugged the notes from her. "What's the poison?" Sasuke murmured from behind her. As he dodged Sakura's retrieval attempt, he frowned. "Lapses in memory? Enzyme count high, white cell count up, pH level off..."

His stunned, dark eyes flickered to hers. He and Sakura shared a look.

"What?" asked Naruto. "I didn't understand any of that. What's the poison?"

It was a touchy subject for her, one of failure. But since her teammates were persistent, she resigned herself to explaining. "Sasaki," she replied. "Its name is Sasaki."

Naruto's forehead scrunched together. "Wasn't that..."

"It's a temporal name. For convenience we've named the poison after Rina."

"But it'll be easier this time, right? You've got the advantage."

Sakura shook her head, pink locks dusting the tops of her shoulders. "It's different than it was," she said softly. "Better."

The tacit implication hung heavily in the air. The poison that had killed Rina was _better_. Someone was working on it. And that someone had infected half of a ninja village. Sakura knew without a doubt that, if an antidote couldn't be discovered, every one of her patients would die. And she had so little time.

Sakura cleared her throat and tapped her temples. "Naruto," she began, changing topics, "when are you leaving again?"

"In two hours. I can't wait till I find a store," he said, patting his stomach. "Ramen, here I come!"

Sasuke grunted. "Pathetic."

"Let's just see how _you_ like this place, teme!" challenged Naruto. "You might be here for weeks, fighting off an army of poisoned ninjas!"

"That reminds me," Sakura interposed. "The ninjas we just fought weren't poisoned at all; they couldn't have been rogue. I checked the poisons they were carrying, too. Those ninja were from _Sound_."

Now Naruto and Sasuke were the ones sharing looks.

"What?" she asked warily. "You should be surprised. Sound is our _ally_, remember?"

"This has been going on for a while," Naruto said, grimacing. "Waterfall has been having problems with their border control for the past year, Sakura-chan."

Border control. _Border control_.

How many times had she heard her boys mention their missions, which were almost always about controlling a land border? How had she not guessed? How had she been so thoughtless?

Sakura covered her forehead with one hand, suppressing a groan. "The neighboring nations," she pondered aloud; "have they all been infiltrated by Sound, as well?"

Silence.

Sakura stared at the pages in her hands. Someone, she knew, was developing this poison—improving it. Just as Sound's army slowly crept through the ninja lands. It was no coincidence. Someone was _testing_ this poison. Someone wanted a perfectly lethal poison, able to incapacitate an entire army in a split second. If no one could devise a cure, Sound would have that weapon.

Sakura pressed her cool hand to the back of her neck. "Damn it," she swore.

How was she going to fix this?

* * *

a/n. so i know i had this update put off a week, but i have a surpriiiiiise! if all goes well, i'm updating again tomorrow. that way, i'll make up last week's little glitch in the updating scheme. XD

btw, this is where i'd usually type down every reviewer, but since there are so many (THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS!) and since you guys have already waited extra-long for this chapter, i'll skip that and just update. but i will mention **TheBloodyLoveOfSakuraHaruno**, who reviewed every chapter in a row. wow!

(and to **curious**: no, there won't be any lemon one-shots based off this.)


	20. Chapter 17

(a/n. this is 5500 words, btw.)

* * *

Two nights later.

Sakura chucked another sheet into the wastebasket. She was so _frustrated_. It was the same damn poison that had killed Rina, and she still wasn't able to do a thing.

Even though the poison was more advanced now—the most complex poison she'd ever seen—she was going to figure this out. She had to. She thought of Rina's cool gray eyes, and the last wispy breath from her lips. She couldn't let Rina's death be for nothing. And she couldn't fail Tsunade. What if the poison were used somewhere else, and no one had found an antidote?

But she was so alone. There wasn't a soul to help her.

"If you keeping stressing like that," warned Sasuke, "you're going to burst an aneurysm."

Sakura looked up from her work at Sasuke, who had formed a habit of watching her many and various antidote failures. "What?"

"An aneurysm," he repeated. "A bulge in an artery caused by the weakening of the artery wall—"

"I know what it is!" Sakura interrupted, actually laughing. Something in Sasuke's expression tipped her off. Had he been wanting her to smile?

Before she picked up her supplies again, she saw him frown. In an fatherly manner he asked, "Aren't medics supposed to take breaks every now and then? And sleep, too?"

"In theory."

"Hn."

She glanced at his stubborn scowl. "I just don't have the time to rest," she admitted softly. "I'm already so short on time."

A woman in the back began to cry out. Sakura heard a medic rush into a room, assuaging the patients with soothing words and deadening medicines. She rubbed at her temples, at the headache that had become her constant companion.

Sasuke's voice was quiet. "How much longer do they have?"

"Maybe a week."

"But you still have to sleep," he insisted. "You can't work like this for another week."

Sakura laughed without humor. "I have to, Sasuke-kun." She could feel his hardening gaze on her face. "I've been to a lot of places, and I've handled a lot of poisonings. But I've never done something like this. I've never had so many people under my care, or been under this kind of pressure." She tried to smile. "And honestly, I don't think I could sleep if I tried."

"You'll drive yourself insane."

"A useless argument," countered Sakura. "I'd rather find this antidote than keep my sanity."

Sasuke's expression was of pure vexation. But no matter how disapproving he was, no matter how much his face twisted with disagreement, Sakura would not compromise her boundaries. When it came to saving lives—in this case, the lives of half a village—she had no boundaries. If she died, then she'd have died for her village, for peacetime. Wasn't that what every ninja wanted? To die a worthy death?

"I just..." Sakura released a long sigh. "I have to do this, Sasuke-kun. It's too important."

If someone wanted to use this poison in battle, how could she forgive herself if she failed?

Sasuke didn't seem to share her opinion. "You can find an antidote," glaring, "without dying, or losing your mind in the process."

Their conversation had an abrupt end. Sakura turned her head towards the forest. By the way Sasuke's chakra calmed, she figured he felt it, too.

Eight Sound ninja raced through the trees. Sakura knew they were Sound ninja by their chakras. Since they weren't poisoned, their chakras weren't disordered, chaotic streams of energy like those of the poisoned Waterfall villagers.

Sakura's chair skidded against the floor as she stood up.

Sasuke positively glowered at her. "What do you think you're doing?"

As she pulled on her gloves, she said, "Taking a break, like you asked."

"Fighting them off is my job," he protested. "Not yours. Aren't the medics supposed to reserve their chakra?"

"You know I'm not using any chakra," Sakura replied, about to jump out the window. "The poison's too strong to extract with any jutsu."

"You can't fight now," he called after her. "It's too dark. You'll be blinded—"

The hollow sound of the wind drowned out his words. Sakura grinned to herself, if only because irritating Sasuke had become more of an amusement, than the tragedy it had been in her younger years.

Blindly, as Sasuke had warned her, she bounded into the forest. With her chakra Sakura kept tabs on the Sound ninja. As she was about to surprise attack an enemy, a partially concealed chakra signature appeared two meters to her right.

Sakura couldn't see the Sound ninja leaping toward her. More than anything, she felt a wave of air hit her face.

Her enemy tried a taijutsu combo, but after her years of training with Lee, Sakura's taijutsu had improved considerably. In one blow she knocked him off balance. Without the help of her chakra, Sakura brought her fist down on his chest. The man soared through the trees.

It was strange to fight like this, thought Sakura. By the perfect blackness her eyes were taken from her. She relied on touch and sound.

Sakura listened carefully to the ninja behind her, whom she'd been about to attack. When he rushed toward her, her poison senbon pierced his neck. He fell to the forest floor.

Sakura turned to hunt another ninja, before Sasuke could get to them all, when a strange numbness came over her right cheekbone. Sakura blinked, then felt her warm blood spread over her skin. A senbon struck into a tree behind her.

Immediately she sought cover in the forest. Sakura touched her forefinger to her wound, and smiled. She'd recognized the poison by its smell. Whoever threw the senbon at her was probably expecting her to be affected by its poison.

Too bad for her attacker, Sakura was immune to this poison.

Sakura heard a branch groan as her enemy moved. She didn't have time to distance herself. Bark and leaves wheezed as a razor wire slithered across them. Four wires looped around Sakura, pinning her to the tree. Their deadly edges dug into her skin and—

Transformation jutsu. Splintered bark was all she left behind.

Sakura flipped backwards into the forest, scanning for her opponent. Instantly he was behind her. She swung her arm around, in aims of landing of one fatal punch, but he was too fast. Nearly as fast as Sasuke. He vanished into the trees, then eyed her from a distance.

The stoic, ivory mask of the Hunter stared back at her.

Sakura's mind was too stunned to produce a ready swear word. Only vaguely, she noticed how Sasuke's chakra spiked in the distance. How ten, maybe twenty more Sound ninja appeared around her teammate, who was fighting clear across the forest.

Hunters were the best trained assassins out there. Sakura clenched her jaw, knowing this wouldn't be easy. Already her enemy had the upper hand. He had isolated her from Sasuke. He had her crippled by her lack of eyesight. And if he were sent to kill her, chances were, he knew all her trademark moves. He wouldn't be so stupid as to allow her a free shot. He would know about her abilities.

He had _severe_ advantages. Before he could capitalize on all those advantages, Sakura knew she needed to end the fight—and end it _now_.

When he suddenly disappeared, Sakura strained her ears to hear him. A faint rustling of a bough had her bracing herself for his attack. The Hunter struck her with one smooth kick. She smashed into a tree, and ducked as one shining ax lodged itself into bark, just two inches above her head.

Sakura disappeared with a transportation jutsu. She needed to get him into the lower part of the woods, where the trees were thicker, giving her more coverage from his weapons. When she reappeared, she scrambled closer to the ground.

Within moments he caught up with her. He threw three shurikan at her, one of which grazed her shoulder, before setting off a bomb she'd laid. The Hunter recoiled from the blast. Just like she'd expected.

Her chakra-enhanced fist pounded into his mask, shattering it completely. He flew back into the forest, taking down several trees with him.

He had brown hair, brown eyes. To her astonishment, he arose from his crooked position. He smirked and lunged at her again.

A medic, Sakura thought with a sigh. That made everything harder.

A long whip parted the air. The darkness completely obscured the sinuous line. By sound only, Sakura backed away. But her speed was no match for the Hunter's.

Searing pain flared in her left arm.

With a yank the Hunter reclaimed his whip. In the whip's departure, Sakura felt its serrated edges rip parts of her skin away. Her blood responded in a feverish flood. Sakura cringed as she felt the appendage become doused with her own wet blood.

A whine heralded the whip's arrival. Sakura ducked and flipped farther back into the forest. As she leaned out of the whip's range, she felt a wire press against her back and slice through her shirt. A faint glimmer of moonlight caught the shine off a throng of silver wires.

The entire clearing was surrounded by razor wires. She'd been led into his trap.

Her Hunter would probably try to stay out of her range, and kill her from afar with his weapons. Cornered, she would be an easy target.

Just in time, Sakura escaped another painful lashing. As she snatched a kunai from her weapon pouch, she felt a wire cut through her thigh and another poison senbon glance her forearm.

Her vision blurred as the poison hit her bloodstream.

Sakura opened herself to an attack and listened for the wheeze of the whip. Calculating its path, Sakura lifted her undamaged arm. With her kunai she fastened the end of the whip into bark.

The Hunter left his weapon without hesitation. He jumped toward her, falling into a close-range battle position.

But Sakura couldn't fight him close-range, either. He was impossibly fast. Hell, she didn't even have time to heal herself.

Seconds before his leg connected with her chest, Sakura used another transportation jutsu. She appeared behind him, crouched and knocked him off his feet. Before she could form a fist, he disappeared. Sakura caught herself on a branch, frantic to find his chakra.

An elbow collided with the back of her neck. As Sakura fell, her vision blackened at the edges. She thrust her hand out and caught another branch, steadying herself with her chakra. Two shurikan stuck into her shirt, holding her to the tree.

A lazy drizzle escaped through the barrier of the trees. Rain splattered on her face as a warm body hovered over hers. "Your genin tricks aren't going to work on me," the Hunter told her. He held his ice cold kunai to her neck.

"Oh, really?"

And she disappeared.

A plan, Sakura berated herself; she needed a better plan! As she remembered the wires enclosing her and her assassin, she had an idea. As she hid, Sakura wrapped her own wire around her fingers.

Taking a deep breath, she leaped through the trees. Her legs burned as she weaved through the woods as fast as she could. But no matter how hard she ran, the Hunter caught up with her.

The drizzle was turning into a downpour. Over the rain Sakura could hardly hear the whiz of the Hunter's senbon. As she dipped underneath a bough and released another bit of wire, that senbon struck her back.

Sakura cursed, feeling the extra poison act as a haze over her thoughts. She tried to fight off the torpor, but her muddled brain was so slow... She was at a huge disadvantage.

He caught her off-guard. After throwing two well-aimed kunai, causing her to abruptly change directions, he landed a powerful punch. She barreled backward into a tree and fell. As she grasped for the rain-darkened trees, bark tore through her hands.

The chakra in her hands clung to two slippery trees. Sakura let out a shaking breath. Almost cross-eyed, she stared at the razor wire a mere inch from her face, simply begging to slice her cranium in half.

"Very good," lauded her attacker. "But not good enough."

A sharp burning erupted in her previously unwounded, right arm. With a choked cry, Sakura lost her grip and descended to the forest floor. She hit the ground with her side, but the impact forced her onto her back.

Rain pounded against her skin. Her blood ran off her body and pooled beneath her.

The Hunter landed two feet from her, with a wickedly long sword in his hands. He approached her with a careless grace and held the tip of the blade to her neck.

"Stubborn," he muttered. "I'll give you that."

Sakura felt her wires cut into her skin, as she yanked her hand to her chest. A dozen wires snapped around them, and a sickening shriek sidled along the trees. The Hunter's razor wires loosed and fluttered to the ground—but for a few, held by her own. The remaining wires wrapped around the Hunter's body, all tugging in different directions.

There was a nauseating sound of tearing flesh.

Sakura pulled harder, until her wires snapped from the pressure. The Hunter fell forward onto his knees, then onto his shredded chest. His blood seeped into the mud and gravel.

Sakura let out a long groan. She let her head lie back on the ground and closed her eyes, feeling her limbs pulse with pain. If it hadn't been for the poison and the rain, she could have avoided half those injuries...

Sakura listened as her attacker's breaths slowed, then stopped. It only took two minutes for him to die of blood loss.

A shame, she mused. If he hadn't had the upper hand, she could have managed something much more painful for him.

Half a mile away, Sakura could sense Sasuke's chakra, racing toward her. She didn't feel a single chakra beside his. In the few short minutes of her battle, he had killed all the Sound ninja by himself.

Two feet hit the ground, three yards from her. Despite the rain Sakura could hear his soft panting. Sasuke's feet were quick in coming to her.

"Annoying woman," he growled. "Didn't I tell you to let me do my job?"

Sakura barely heard him. Her ears were full of her hammering heart, and of that exhilarating voice that reminded her she had _won_. The relief of her success was overwhelming. Considering her break from the ninja world and the Hunter's well-devised strategy, it had been a close, almost hopeless fight.

Sasuke's hand touched her neck, feeling for a pulse. "Can you move?" he asked hurriedly.

In answer Sakura pushed herself into a sitting position, but not without difficulty. Sasuke's hand settled on her back to support her. "Wouldn't have mattered if I'd listened to you," Sakura remarked, letting her head loll onto his shoulder. "He wouldn't have fought you."

Sasuke's skin, she couldn't help but notice, was slick with the rain. His wet hair was pushed off his forehead, impossibly black. Sakura shook her head and finished, aware of Sasuke's palpable confusion.

"A Hunter," she murmured sleepily; "looking for me."

He tensed. Sasuke looked around the area, at the complex web of razor wire and at the body not five feet from them.

The implicit motivation ran through both their minds. The Hunter had only one reasonable motivation—that Sakura was the medic working on Sound's poison. Whoever formulated the poison didn't want her to find an antidote. The Hunter had made that rather clear.

Sasuke looked back at her with a grim frown. "Can you heal yourself?"

Green chakra coated her skin. Without much effort she mended both her arms and hands, her thigh, and her back. Except for the spiral on her left arm, the wounds were not deep. Her sluggishness was merely a product of the poisons.

Circling his arm around her waist, Sasuke helped her up. He stole another glance at the assassin.

"What?"

Sasuke turned his dark eyes to her, with a look of doubt. "How did you..."

"Don't be ridiculous," Sakura grumped; "You can't talk down to me; I outrank you."

"You do not," came his indignant reply; however false.

Sakura allowed herself a moment of gloating. "ANBU captain for five months, Sasuke-kun. Until you beat that, I'm your superior."

He grunted. "Big talk for someone who can't walk on her own."

"You're just mad you're my subordinate," Sakura retorted, laughing. "Besides, we both know you're impressed."

His face softened. It was neither a smile nor a smirk. "Ah."

* * *

By the time they reached the house, they were both drenched with rainwater. Sasuke grabbed two towels from a cabinet and handed her one, saying, "Next time, just stay inside, Sakura."

How nice it was to hear her name, without a polite or endearing suffix. Just her name. Just her. As Sasuke looked at her with that slight wonder, she almost felt as if that were enough. Herself.

It was amazing how accustomed she had become to _Sakura-sama_. To the daily lack of intimacy, of any kind. But something about Sasuke, although he rarely touched her, spoke to her of intimacy.

After drying herself off, Sakura stood in front of her shelves, plucking vials out one at a time. When Sasuke asked her what she was doing, she replied, "Making an antidote for myself."

His tone was sharp. "You're poisoned?"

"Well, of course," she said dismissively. "Why do you think I'm so off-balance?" As she ground a pestle into her herbs, she assured, "But it isn't serious. I've seen so many variations of this poison, I could make the antidote in my sleep."

"If you actually slept," quipped Sasuke.

He had a point. She was _tired_.

With eerie ease Sakura jabbed herself with the syringe. She felt the effects of her antidote immediately. But the sudden lack of dizziness did not steal away her fatigue. Like a wilted flower she sank onto a chair and leaned on the table, with a drooping and wasted face.

"You should change clothes before you sleep," Sasuke advised, as he set his own mat on the floor. He dropped to the floor with a certain relish she didn't usually see from him. He must be as tired as she. Maybe that was why he was pushing her to rest so much.

"I can't go to sleep yet," Sakura returned, although her voice was muffled by the cradle of her arms. She felt sleep's firm tugs, and the tarrying side effects of her poison. She really wanted to sleep right now. But there was something that had been bugging her.

Sakura stood up and lumbered over to her bag. Unmindful of whether or not Sasuke was watching, she stripped off her wet clothes and replaced them with dry, black ones. She threw her mat on the ground and lay across it with a sigh.

"Remind me..." She shook her head, fighting off sleep. "When I wake up, remind me of the antidote I just made, alright?"

"Ah." He lay down, as well. "What for?"

"Like Konoha," eyes fluttering closed, "Sound has certain techniques integrated into their medical programs. They tend to take the same approaches to poisons." Sakura rolled onto her side and pillowed her head with her arms. "It might be easier for me to make an antidote, if I think of it specifically as a Sound poison."

But what about those ninja? That was something to think about. They were a serious distraction, an effective and annoying pest. Was it any coincidence that so many ninjas were in the area?

"Who would send a Hunter after me?" Sakura murmured, staring with heavy-lidded eyes at Sasuke. "I can't imagine Sound's leader ordering something like that."

After Orochimaru's death, Kabuto had vanished, and Sound was left a weak, headless country. As a result, the treaty between Sound and the neighboring nations occurred. At the time Sound had no other option, but to humiliate herself by signing a penalizing treaty and by taking the blame for Orochimaru's actions.

They organized a sort of democracy. Sakura thought it was a more of a ploy than anything: a political scheme to emphasize their turnabout from Orochimaru's dictatorship. On top of that, the man Sound elected to be their leader was a _civilian_. While Sakura had no personal qualms with civilians, there was a major pitfall in their choice. Their leader lacked strength. Backbone. Sakura had met him once. Even then, she had thought how easily he would be manipulated.

Maybe a better question was, who wanted to manipulate Sound's leader? Who _was_ manipulating Sound's leader?

"There's no way to answer that for sure," Sasuke replied. "Too many possibilities."

"Such as?"

"Kabuto. Akatsuki."

The remaining Akatsuki had disappeared almost five years ago. As much as she wanted to, Sakura couldn't rule out the possibility. "But what would Akatsuki have to do with Sound?" she asked, bemused.

"At one point, Orochimaru was part of Akatsuki."

She hadn't known that. "So Kabuto and the Akatsuki might be hiding behind the facade of a weak government," she droned. "Not a comforting thought." Opening one bright green eye, Sakura asked her last question, "Who do you think made this poison, Sasuke-kun? Could Kabuto have possibly...? We don't even know if he's alive."

Sasuke shrugged. "It could be. But it doesn't really matter who _made_ it. It matters who's going to _use_ it."

A pity, too, since Sound had been such a docile ally.

Wearily Sakura closed her eyes once more. She listened to the gentle swaying of the trees, before she felt her breaths slow and deepen. Plagued with worries and distant suspicions, Sakura slipped off into sleep.

* * *

A day passed. It was well past midnight.

She was having a nightmare. Again. It was the shadows of the forest that played with her. They revived old memories, old fears. She thrashed about on the floor, tormented by her lurid images, by the blood that oozed down—

She awoke. With a strangled breath Sakura eyed the silent kitchen. The old house creaked and groaned with the dark. Sakura turned her head, and through the darkness she could see Sasuke's black eyes on her, never straying.

"You haven't slept?" she asked, voice thick with sleep. "You need to sleep, too. Your body—"

"What were you dreaming about?" Sasuke interrupted, with those fiercely intent eyes of his. "You were having a nightmare."

Her pallid fingers buried themselves into the fabric of her pants. "Nothing," she lied. At Sasuke's unconvinced and unrelenting look, she amended, "I guess I was dreaming... about all of us."

Sasuke was waiting for her to continue, so patiently. His dark eyes surveyed her from within the blackness. She could hardly see him. There was only a barest glow on his alabaster skin, his mouth, and his penetrating gaze.

"Does everyone have... recurring dreams, do you think?" Sakura asked. "Mine are always alike. I can never speak in my nightmares," she confessed, almost inaudibly. "And because of that, something terrible always happens to..."

"Team Seven, you mean."

Sakura nodded. Scores of nightmares replayed in her mind. Their deaths she recalled with morbid detail.

Brushing off her nightmare, Sakura stood and strolled toward her counters. She took out a sample of blood and set about her work. She couldn't waste any time. The villagers were quickly worsening.

"I've been thinking," Sakura began, taking out a mortar. "All these patients are in the same stage of poisoning."

Sasuke raised his eyebrow at her. "And?"

"They must have all been infected at the very same time," Sakura surmised. "But how could a ninja poison half of a village at the same moment?"

Sasuke grunted, as if to say, _does it matter?_

"It would be difficult to poison the water supply," she muttered, submerged in her own thoughts. "The rivers are too complex here. Could a poison gas have been used?"

"Poison gases only knock you out for a while," Sasuke protested. "Using lethal gases was banned after the First Ninja War. It's forbidden."

Sakura looked at him, smiling. "It's funny to hear you say something so... innocent."

His lips parted, and he quirked both his eyebrows—his only look of amazement.

"Whoever did this wouldn't care that it's forbidden, Sasuke-kun." She ran a hand through her hair and began thinking aloud. "Suppose it were a poison gas. If someone started with a concentrated poison, in its liquid state, maybe the gas would be strong enough to..."

Someone screamed. Sakura could imagine one of the Waterfall medics racing into the room and kneeling by the tortured man. The room would be covered with white mats, like a bed of white roses. The medic would hush him with a pain reliever, that never seemed to dull the pain.

They were all losing time.

Sakura rubbed at her forehead. In her younger days, this was when she might have broken under the pressure and simply cried.

As he stuffed his hands into his pockets, Sasuke walked to the kitchen and leaned against one of cabinets, just a few feet from her. "Why don't you quit being a medic?" he asked without introduction. "Aren't you always saying how you liked being a ninja?"

Affronted, Sakura scoffed, "I _am_ a ninja, Sasuke-kun. And if I weren't a medic, you, Naruto, Kakashi and Sai, and half of everyone in the village would be dead or maimed."

His tone became considerably lighter. It was like he enjoyed hearing her pride. "But you get tired of the hospital."

"I didn't always," she returned. "It's just that I'm doing it alone, and I'm understaffed." Fiddling with her vials, Sakura pursed her lips. "How could I hate the hospital? Think of the fathers, the mothers, the children... the teammates... who would have died otherwise."

If her boys were in another village, she would want a medic to heal them. If they were sick, she would want somebody to be there, to help them.

Sasuke's silvery voice formed her name. He was hesitant as he asked, "Why aren't you angry with me," looking up, "for everything?"

Sakura stood still, waiting for the flare of an old pain. The emotions, although dulled with time, were as burdensome as a physical hurting—a ponderous load, that slowly weakened her. She had _hated_ him. She had loathed him. He had hurt her, and for a long time, that suffering dominated any of her softer feelings. She had been so angry with him. With herself.

She didn't want to think about this, didn't want to dwell on her past. But if she didn't open up to him, why should she ask him to do the same?

"Don't you think I've been angry, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura whispered. "But I'm tired of being angry. I don't want to be angry at you anymore, Sasuke-kun. It hurts too much."

She turned back to her work, not wanting to see the contemplative look on Sasuke's face. She didn't want to know what conclusion he came to, or realize how much she had given away.

Sakura dropped a tear of antidote onto the blood sample. It fizzled, popped. She crumpled the page in her fist and threw it into the wastebasket.

"I wonder what the Elders think of this," she mumbled. "I doubt they'd care if everyone died. To tell you the truth, I don't think they'd mind if I died out here."

Sasuke nearly smiled. "I feel that way every time I leave the village."

Sakura shook her head. "Trust me, the Elders want you alive."

"I find that hard to believe."

"They want you in Konoha. You're clever, versatile, and strong. They're just angry because they can't control you."

She loved that about Sasuke: his resolve, his recalcitrance. His subtle rebellion was a trait left over from his youth, and she liked to see those parts of him still intact...

But the Elders, of course, hated it.

In turn, Sakura never hated the Elders more, than when they spoke of Sasuke. Hearing them trash her teammate—and no matter what, Sasuke would always be her teammate—had been more insufferable than anything else they could have done. She leaned on the counter top and covered her forehead with one slim hand. Just the memory was a heavy weight on her mind.

"Control me," Sasuke repeated. "But they won't ever trust me."

Her fingers trembled against her forehead. Her throat closed, and her eyes burned. "People understand so little."

She empathized with his shame. She felt it like it were hers.

Snatching another sheet, Sakura began an antidote. She knew she couldn't let herself get distracted, regardless of how distracting Sasuke really was.

Her time was running out. Some of the villagers were just hours from dying, having already progressed into the final stages. She didn't have the luxury of failure anymore.

* * *

Five people had died. The others would follow soon. Sakura worked nonstop, not daring to sleep. Time was of the essence. Although the poison was significantly stronger, she determined to solve it. She _going_ to heal them, no matter what.

It was a matter of national security, too. The poison was being given a trial run. Sound wanted to know how unstoppable it was. How useful. It was Waterfall's ill luck to have been chosen for the task. But they were the obvious choice: a weak nation, already disbanded into groups of rogue.

It was the ninth day Sakura had been in Waterfall. It was dusk; the forest looked to be in flames.

Her pen, which had been scrawling without leave for the past few hours, stilled. She picked up her notes and scanned them, double-checking. Did her math add up? Did she overlook anything? She read over her writing for nearly twenty minutes. Suddenly a smile cracked her face in two.

Breathless, Sakura stood up and scurried to her medicines. "Sasuke-kun, I did it!" Her deft fingers fixed a concoction and dripped the liquid onto a paper, whose center was marked with one drop of discolored blood. The blood returned to its rosy shade. "I did it!" she exclaimed again.

Sasuke watched her with warm curiosity. It was a look she'd often seen on his face, since he'd been in Waterfall.

By the end of the day, the dead was raised. The rows of bundled bodies were no longer motionless. The bed of white roses, as she had thought them, uprooted themselves. They were walking, eating, talking. By the next day, the women and children remained to be taken care of, but the men marched back to the village.

"You ready?" Sasuke asked, the morning of their departure.

Sakura looked up at him with the same persistent smile. Her eyes, although shadowed with insomnia, shone. "I am!"

After they left, Sakura stopped him on the Fire border. "Are you alright?" she asked despairingly. His legs moved lazily, as if too weak to support him any more. Sasuke had been up for a long time. The wear from fighting all their battles showed on his face.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Sakura."

But of course he denied it. Sakura, unusually impulsive, pulled him into a hug. His body was warm and comfortable. His hands landed on the tops of her shoulders. Sakura squeezed him once, then let go. She gave him a cylinder of a red liquid and said very seriously, "Keep this with you whenever you leave the village, alright?"

Sasuke eyed the antidote before he tucked it into his bag. Only then was Sakura satisfied.

"Always keep it with you," she repeated.

"Stop worrying about me, Sakura."

How oblivious he was. She smiled again, saying softly, "That won't ever happen, Sasuke-kun."

* * *

a/n. you would not believe how chaotic my writing-weekend has been! i hope this isn't too rough-around-the-edges. i had to add some things yesterday and today, which i normally do not do. since i like to sit and brew over what i write for a bit. lol.

thank you, reviewers: **geniusbookworm, ConsequentlySimple, Fashion Monster, QuotingShakespear, callmeclueless, Misery's-Toll, Lady Rini, The Not So Anonymous Reader, Inferno Phoenyx, Lady Darkness Diamond, killmeangel24, Aninasiin, FellxMurth, cutecookiechick, LoveTheCrazy, Patchwork Toy, Kaze and Kiba, cherryluver19, Sairalinde Inwe, pockybandits89, MissLadyEmiko, UwIllNevERn0, Curious, Maelie, Natascha-chan, Moka nee-chan, flawlessimperfections, Shuushi, Lia113, boulder's sun, TigerLilyette, shkh4ever**, and **Kushichan**.

and since there's been talk of lemons, i'll break bad and let out a spoiler: i won't be writing any sex scenes. (i would feel weird.) plus, it would probably be terrible. ;)

lastly, if you guys are confused on anything, feel free to mention it in your reviews! since this whole shenanigan will come up later, you'll be giving me a great idea of what details to include, to tie everything up.

oh, yeah! next chapter is sasuke's last pov chapter. :D


	21. Sasuke kun

a/n. (some five thousand words again. next chapters won't be so long, though.)

* * *

Divergence: Sasuke-kun.

* * *

Konoha rose over the treetops with the sun. The morning's red sky hovered over the forest like a fire.

Sakura started running faster. Her lips twitched with unspoken words. He could only assume she was counting down the seconds to entering the village. She had always been good with time, distance.

The sturdy red gates appeared in the thick of the forest, and Sakura smiled. The trees, not like the thick and curling vegetation in Waterfall, rustled with the wind. The village splayed out before them.

It was nice to be home.

They reached the gate, and Sasuke watched as a horde of guards hovered around Sakura. He heard her use their names, unsurprised. Sakura knew everyone. And everyone, in turn, knew her. Loved her.

One guard, whose right eye was sealed shut with a long scar, offered a greeting to Sasuke. It was a formal tone, more distrustful. Sakura's eyes snapped to the guard, and that slight frown she sometimes wore covered her mouth. What for? Sasuke wondered. Why was she so defensive about him?

Sakura hurried away from the guards after that. She threw one glance over her shoulder at them and sighed. "Tsunade hasn't had to increase the number of guards in ten years. I wonder why she hasn't talked to me about it."

"Tsunade tells you about that?"

"What do you mean?"

Sakura smiled, as if she knew his real question: _are you really authorized to know about this?_

"I'll have you know," she said, "that Tsunade likes me very much. She rarely withholds information from me."

His forehead creased. "I can't imagine Tsunade liking anyone."

Sakura laughed loudly—it was deep, full laugh. Uniquely hers. "Why do you say that? I know she can be a little rude sometimes, but..."

"A little?" Sasuke repeated sarcastically.

Tsunade hated him, he was sure. She gave him the worst missions. Every time he turned around, he had to escort a slovenly client, or save a missing cat. If he ever lucked upon a decent mission, Tsunade made sure he'd have to travel by boat to get there. Sasuke _hated_boats. They were universally cramped. And Tsunade didn't make any pains to disguise her delight at his misfortunes. If she ever laughed, she was about to say something he'd hate. Whether her dislike was a product of his defection or of her loyalty to her student, Sasuke wasn't sure. It was probably both.

"Why, does Tsunade not like you?" Sakura asked, in that questioning tone.

"That's putting lightly, Sakura."

People compared Sakura to Tsunade. He didn't see the similarities, outside the obvious—brute strength and medical expertise. Sakura wasn't as loud, as volatile, or as merciless as Tsunade. And there was that one major difference. Tsunade despised him. Sakura loved—

Sakura used to love him.

In the years he'd missed, she had changed so much. He could only assume that the nature of her feelings for him had also changed. After a life of crime and vagrancy, he was not the boy Sakura had once claimed to love. He knew that.

But some of her actions showed more care than that of a teammate. Had Sakura always been this hard to read?

His teammate wrinkled up her nose. She didn't seem to notice she did that. Often. "I don't think Tsunade could be as nasty to you as you say, Sasuke-kun. Why would she?"

"You tell me. You were her apprentice, after all."

Sakura looked at the Hokage Tower in the distance. Her voice was filled with adoration. "Tsunade means a lot to me," she said. "If it weren't for her and Shizune, I'm not sure what I would have done during those years."

Those years; the years he and Naruto were gone. She didn't like to be too specific when she talked about that. "I don't know why Tsunade would have helped," Sasuke replied. "I can't stand our ten minute meetings."

_He _was the reason for this smile on her face. Because of that, Sasuke paid attention to the gentle curve of her lips, the faint impression of a dimple to the right. It made no difference to him that Sakura had been smiling at just about anything, since she'd found the antidote.

"It's just different for me, I guess," said Sakura. "Tsunade and I understand each other."

Sasuke didn't know much about his Hokage. "What's there to understand?"

"She's had a hard life." Now at the edges of the market, Sakura stopped. "Where are we going?"

"You can go home," Sasuke offered. "I'll go to Tsunade."

"But you don't like Tsunade."

Her head titled to the side. Her face, in its confusion, looked as harmless as a newborn kitten. It was strange to think that _this _was the woman who had shredded a Hunter. That Sakura, in all her kindness, hadn't batted an eye when she pounded a man's head five feet into the ground. Then she'd turned around, and healed a wound on his own arm.

Sakura was full of contradictions. She had not always been this complex.

"Just go on," insisted Sasuke. "It won't take me long."

"You're not tired?"

"No," Sasuke retorted, defensive. He was more than tired. He was _dying_. "Are you?"

There was no lie in her honest gaze. "Not at all," she answered easily. "But if _you're_ tired, you should go to your apartment and sleep. It's been a hard week for you, hasn't it?"

Her impish grin. She was mocking him. "I'm not tired," Sasuke denied.

The glint in her eyes told him she wasn't fooled. The fatigue in his body was perfectly clear to Sakura's trained eye. "Alright," she played along. "I might see you at dinner, if the rest of Team Seven isn't on a mission."

As Sakura turned on her heel, he called out her name. He asked a question that had been on his mind for quite some time: "Have you been to Sound?"

"Of course."

Why was she so flippant about this? "They let you?" he asked. They, being the Elders.

Sakura repressed a sigh. There was a mild reproof in her look. "Why shouldn't they, Sasuke-kun?"

She thought he was insulting her again. Was he? It wasn't his intention. It just made sense to protect the village's main medic. Why should she have been allowed to go to a dangerous country?

"Because they're our enemy," Sasuke archly remarked.

Sakura's smile fell off her face. "No, they aren't. We're in peacetime, remember?"

She said it with so little conviction. After being in Waterfall, she must have figured out that Sound was building her army.

Sasuke snorted, looking irrevocably superior. "Peacetime, my ass."

Sakura laughed. He supposed it was because he didn't swear as much as she did.

"If we were," he continued, "I wouldn't be getting as much work."

The Elders were the ones who gave him the difficult missions. The outcome didn't matter to them—whether he completed the mission, or died. He wondered how much more Sakura would hate the Elders if she knew that.

"That's true." Sakura sighed, turning to leave again. "Tell Tsunade that I said hi, alright? And that I'll see her later."

Her pink hair bobbed up and down the streets. Shop owners, ninjas, and civilians greeted her. Everyone in the village knew Sakura.

Sasuke made a seal and transported to the Hokage's Office. A pair of hazel eyes greeted him, full of fire.

"That is incredibly rude," Tsunade barked. "I told you last time not to do that. Do you think you can just appear in my office, ex-rogue?"

She loved calling him that. "Good morning to you, too."

"You're such a smart ass. How does Sakura put up with you?"

He wasn't always sure himself. He used to have a pretty good answer—back in the days of her unwavering admiration and affection—but now he lacked an ironclad reason.

After taking out the scroll, Tsunade looked over his recordings. "Were you surprised to see Sakura?" she began, almost conversationally. Naturally, she was only taunting him.

Sasuke stubbornly side-stepped the question. "I don't see why you refused to tell me that."

"Because you have no manners," Tsunade replied, tossing one low pigtail over her shoulder. Then a smile edged onto her face, and she laughed. "Although, I admit your overwhelming concern was entertaining."

Sasuke scowled. Although Tsunade enjoyed mocking him, he was not in the habit of being laughed at.

"You can't deny it," his Hokage barbed. "You couldn't find her chakra in the village, and you were worried."

It'd be absurd to deny it. "What, are you trying blackmail?" He wouldn't put it past her. "That's a noble Hokage," Sasuke jeered.

"I wouldn't mention it to Sakura. She wouldn't believe me." Tsunade rolled up the scroll and slipped it into a drawer. "Speaking of my favorite pupil, where is she?"

From what Sasuke had observed, Tsunade was not overly-affectionate with Sakura. Whenever Sakura wasn't there, however, Tsunade verbally doted on her as much as possible.

"She'll see you later," said Sasuke. "She's at her apartment."

"No, she isn't." Tsunade looked up from her paperwork. "She's probably checking in at the hospital. I bet it'll take her an hour to get to her apartment."

"She said she was going to her apartment."

"That's what she always says."

Tsunade knew her better than he did. Sasuke frowned, looking out the window. It annoyed him, in some primitive and overbearing way.

"Take the stick out your ass, and leave my office," Tsunade ordered, as she took out a bottle of sake. "I didn't invite you in the first place." She finished off the alcohol, then stashed the evidence in her desk.

His Hokage didn't keep up appearances around him. Like he was so far below her, that it was unnecessary. Sasuke wasn't sure why. _Tsunade and I understand each other._ If they understood each other, did Tsunade dislike him because he put Sakura through pain? Because she, maybe vicariously, felt that pain, too?

_She's had a hard life_. Did that imply that Sakura felt she had a hard life, as well? Or that she went through some of what Tsunade did? Like the betrayal of her team; or the loss of someone she once loved?

Tsunade's gaze settled on his, curiously free of its choler. "Are you alright?" she suddenly asked. There was no mistaking the concern in her voice. "Do you need to go to the hospital?"

The weakness in his body dragged him down. He had not slept in what felt like ages. He couldn't even think clearly; he was full of questions. As he stared at his Hokage, he wondered if her customary distaste for him was just a product of her protectiveness over Sakura. Maternal feelings? After all, Tsunade didn't have any children.

"Are you _worried_ about me, Hokage-sama?" Sasuke smirked. "I can't believe it."

The sympathy in her face vanished. "No, but Sakura would kill me if I let you faint in my office." Tsunade waved a hand. "Now go on."

"Yes, Hokage." Sasuke bowed, much subdued. He was tired, and his mind was racing with disconnected thoughts. He was so muddled.

"_Are_ you alright?" Tsunade asked, after he had turned away. "Go to the hospital if you need to."

Sasuke face her again, pocketing his hands. "You don't think I'm good enough for them, do you?" he asked, without introduction. "You think they should just leave me alone."

"They?"

"Naruto and Sakura."

Something like distress came into her look. "That's probably what most people think. Right now, at least. But I know how different it is when it's _your_ teammate, and not someone else's."

Distant pain flashed across Tsunade's face. The Sannin—how much were they like Team Seven?

"I know adjusting to Konoha was difficult," she said, "but it would have been harder without them. If your teammates had been less forgiving, you'd be dead, or living in a cell."

"I know that."

Tsunade propped her chin in her hands. Sasuke couldn't tell if she wanted to smile or spit at him. "You're lucky you came when you did. A few years ago, Sakura wouldn't have been as gracious to you. But I think she'd tired of her anger by the time you returned."

_I don't want to be angry at you anymore, Sasuke-kun. It hurts too much._

Sasuke turned and left the Hokage Tower. He was so tired. Tired of the guilt. Of the uncertainty.

* * *

Sasuke dreamed all during his sleep.

He dreamed of Sakura's fist pounding into the earth, and the fissure she left behind. It didn't look feasible. He dreamed of her generous, ivory forehead lined with thought. Of the pen in her hand as she scribbled. Of the ninjas' eyes blinking in the dark forest. Of a hardened jaw, with a determined look—like she thought she was capable of anything. Maybe she was.

His memories were blurred by his fatigue. He remembered briefly their conversation about the poison, and the unfocused, dazed quality in Sakura's eyes. She had an absent way about her when she was thinking. Her green eyes lost their luster; her face seemed to pale with the lack of its usual vivacity; and her smiling mouth fell into neutrality.

Her face lit with happiness when she fought. But that was nothing compared to elation in her eyes when she found an antidote. Her body teemed with excitement. Her pulse beat against her neck with fervor.

_They're too good for you_, Tsunade had said. Sasuke believed her. So why did Sakura and Naruto not act like same? Why did Sakura treat him kindly, never asking for anything in return?

But at the same time, she behaved differently around him. She was the only one, out of Team Seven, to change the way she acted around him. Now she did not fawn over him or spend her time thinking of him; of that he was sure. Could it be, that Sakura did not think he was good enough anymore—for her to love him? He was only good enough to be a teammate?

During their mission, Sakura had actually called him innocent. What a skewed and strange idea she had of him. She was impossibly incomprehensible. What did she think of him?

Sasuke woke up several times in his sleep. At five in the afternoon he blinked open his eyes and scowled at the ceiling. The room was hot. His body ached for rest, but he could not find it.

He sat up with slumped shoulders, too tired to want to move. His apartment was strikingly still compared to the bustling streets outside. Wearily Sasuke stared at them, then stood. After yanking a shirt over his head, he trudged into the roads.

Sakura had said something about dinner, hadn't she?

He looked for a white, concentrated chakra signature in the city, one light and clean. Amidst the swirls of crude chakra, Sasuke tried to find the one that kept neatly to herself, not rushing through the body, but merely flowing.

Sakura's chakra, although not as vast as Naruto's, was as easy to find. Both were distinctly different from the average chakra signature—both extraordinary in their own right.

Sasuke expelled a long sigh when he found her. She was at work. He made the quick trek to the hospital and swung into her office through the window. Her office, as always, was cold and spacious. He took a seat behind her desk and leaned his head back. At ease, he slept for almost an hour.

While thumbing through one of Sakura's books, Sasuke felt a chakra signature coming toward the office. It wasn't Sakura's. He looked up to glare at the trespasser.

"Sasuke Uchiha," Neji said, with remote disdain. He sported a red gash on his side, which colored his impeccably clean clothes.

"Neji Hyuga," Sasuke imitated.

"What are you doing in here?"

"I have more right to be here than you do," Sasuke said, glaring.

He raised one eyebrow. "We'll see."

Neji enjoyed a challenge too much.

With some pride, Sasuke watched as Sakura entered her office and looked directly at _him_. A smile blossomed on her face. She exclaimed, "Sasuke-kun,"—after all these years, she still said it the same—"I didn't think you'd show!"

Almost as a side thought, she glanced at Neji. "Wow," she said coolly, walking over to him with purposed strides. "I never see you in the hospital." She laid her hands over his wound and channeled chakra into the severed skin. After slowing picking out a shard of glass, Sakura closed the rest of the wound.

Neji grunted arrogantly. "It isn't from a real fight."

"Is that something to brag about?" Sasuke jibed, staring at the bloody glass on the desk. "That you can get injured from something other than a fight?"

"Neji," Sakura intervened, "what happened?"

Tenten wandered into the room. "Hi, Sakura!" She slammed her monstrous scroll on the floor, hoisted herself on top of it, and sat. "Haven't seen you in a while."

"Am I missing something?" asked Sakura. "What's going on?"

Hinata peered into the room from the hallway. "H-Hello, Sakura-san. H-How are you?"

"I'm well." Sakura slanted a look of amazement towards Sasuke. "Do you know anything about this?"

He could guess. Wasn't it obvious?

"_Sakura!_" someone shrieked. As two arms wrapped around Sakura's torso, there was a flurry of blond hair. "Where have you been, Forehead? You're too cooped up in this place!"

"Pig," Sakura greeted, turning around; "you're suffocating me."

"Oh, so I took you by surprise? Shouldn't be so unaware, Billboard Brow."

"You know, you're feeling soft. Stuffing your face again, Porky?"

Ino squinted, then poked at Sakura's forehead. "I didn't think it was possible, but your forehead's actually gotten bigger!"

Laughing, Sakura batted her friend's hand away. "What you doing here, too, Ino?" she asked. "What's going on?"

"See, I was across the street, when—"

"Yosh!" Lee appeared in front of Sakura, clasping both her hands. "It is Rock Lee!" he shouted, with eager eyes. "Do you remember, Sakura-san?"

"Lee," smiling, "I saw you just three weeks ago."

Sasuke stood up from Sakura's chair and walked to the window. Sakura had too much tolerance for Lee. She was completely unperturbed by those atrocious eyebrows, not to mention the heinous green spandex that had lasted through the ages. He was a walking eyesore.

"Yosh!" Lee yelled again. Sasuke cringed. "You are so beautiful, Sakura-san! So youthful! You are the youthful flower of Konoha!"

Sasuke huffed. Youthful flower, he thought. Why did something so _lame_, always make Sakura smile?

"Thank you, Lee," Sakura replied—much too indulgently, to Sasuke's mind. "But would you mind explaining why everyone is in my office? No one's told me."

"My beautiful Sakura-san, it was a vigorous display of youth that left Neji-san in his current condition."

A vigorous display of youth. Sasuke let out a derisive snort.

"In a youthful attempt of accosting our lovely Hinata—"

"Naruto was on a date with Hinata," Tenten interrupted, terse and to the point as always. "Neji over there didn't know about it." She tossed a bored look at her teammate. "So he started the fight. Big surprise."

"Where's Naruto?" Sakura asked.

Hinata stirred by the door. "I-In the lobby."

"Like I was saying," Ino rejoined; "I was across the street when Neji attacked Naruto. I'd just bought groceries, and Naruto crushed them. He knows he's paying for that, right?"

Like Naruto ever paid for anything, thought Sasuke.

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura called, "do you want to check on Naruto with me?"

She was having pity on him. Sasuke stood up, grateful for the excuse, and followed his teammate out the door. He was tired. He had a splitting headache. And he couldn't sleep. He wanted to _leave_.

"Wait!" Lee cried. "I challenge _you_, Sasuke Uchiha—"

Sasuke felt the look of murder come over his face. Lee had to be kidding. He had to be.

"—to a duel! Hard work will overcome natural talent! Yosh!"

Sasuke sighed and turned around. Lee's rapid footsteps echoed behind him. The wind from Lee's kick hit his face, just before Sakura's hand wrapped around Lee's ankle.

"We just got back from a mission, Lee. And last time I checked," said Sakura, "this leg was just operated on. Take it easy."

Sakura released her hold on Lee's leg. He wouldn't have been able to tug it out of her grip otherwise. The strength in her slim, lily-white arm was astounding, effortless: Lee had a lot of power behind his taijutsu.

"Letting a woman take care of your fights?" Neji asked, with his pearlescent eyes leveled on Sasuke.

Sakura laughed so loudly, so amusedly, that Sasuke didn't feel the need to add further insult. "Don't be ridiculous, Neji," she interposed. "You _never_fight without Tenten."

The brunette had a self-satisfied smile.

"Mission?" Ino asked, all of a sudden. "Where to?"

"Waterfall," Sakura answered. "I'll tell you about it later, after I see Naruto. Would I find you at the flower shop?"

"Not often." Ino shrugged. "Tsunade's been keeping everyone booked with missions."

"Seriously," muttered Tenten.

Sakura bid them goodbye, and with the except of Neji, received everyone's warm response. Sasuke followed her out the door.

"Goodbye, Sasuke," came two mixed voices—Hinata's and Tenten's. Sasuke thought he saw Neji give the latter a malevolent glower.

* * *

"I can't believe he punched me!" Naruto bemoaned, over a cup of steaming ramen. This was his second dinner for the night, and probably his fifteenth bowl of ramen for the day. "It isn't like I was feeling her up when he saw us, either!"

Sakura just smiled. "Will you let me heal your eye yet?"

"No, it _hurts_!"

"Naruto," she coaxed, "you've had whole appendages almost lobbed off, but you won't let me touch your black eye?"

His left eye was swollen. Sasuke looked askance at the bulging black and blue bruise, and smirked. Idiot.

The meal went slowly. Sasuke barely ate any of his food, before pushing it away. A stronger headache sprouted up behind his temples, and he sat forward in his chair. He laced his fingers over his eyes, thumbs set on his hammering temples. The streets, despite the evening hour, were loud. It sounded loud to _him_, at any rate. During the dinner, Sakura managed to erase the black eye, and Naruto returned to his normal, boisterous self.

"It doesn't matter!" he proclaimed. "I'm taking her out again this Saturday!" After ordering more ramen, Naruto slapped his fist against the table. "Wait a minute! I didn't ask how the mission went, Sakura-chan!"

With his eyes closed, Sasuke could imagine the pure delight in Sakura's clear green eyes. Could imagine a glowing face, a smiling mouth.

"Everyone's fine," Sakura assured happily. "I've sent the antidote and the notes I took to Tsunade, and the poison's already registered at the hospital."

"Of course you made the antidote!" said Naruto. "You're the smartest, prettiest, nicest doctor out there!"

"Flattery is the theme of today, I see," Sakura remarked, with some pleasure.

"Not flattery, Sakura-chan." Naruto wagged his finger at her. "Truth." He returned to his ramen. "So did you like the mission? I bet it was nice getting out of the village."

"Yeah... I enjoyed it."

"You don't sound so sure about it," Naruto noted.

Sakura looked to the ceiling. Sasuke suddenly found himself paying attention. "It's that..." She pulled her mouth to the side. "The mission wasn't as fulfilling as I thought it would be."

Naruto frowned. "What do you mean?"

"It's just been a long time since I've fought."

"You made ANBU, Sakura-chan," Naruto reminded. "No matter how long it's been; nobody can ever tell you that you aren't a good fighter."

Naruto was so dense, Sasuke thought, rolling his eyes. That wasn't what she'd meant at all.

Sakura twirled her chopsticks in her ramen and said, "I ranked ANBU for being a good combat medic. Not because I can fight as well as you or Sasuke-kun. It's just that ANBU never has any medics." She sighed. "Besides, I wasn't talking about that. I meant that I hadn't killed in a while... I've been nothing but a healer these past years."

"You're happier working as a medic, aren't you?"

"I'm more useful that way," Sakura decided. "I don't hate fighting. It just goes against the grain, you know?"

Naruto's face fell into an easy smile. "Whatever makes you happy, Sakura-chan." Casually he added, "And it's probably better that you prefer being a medic. The hospital's more starved than our army."

Because of Sound, medics were more important than ever, Sasuke thought to himself. Naruto knew that, too. But did Sakura know what she was signing herself up for? Did she know how much work was ahead of her?

Sasuke lost interest in the conversation after that. The two of them kept talking until Naruto finished eating. Most of the time, they talked about the simplest things—things of no consequence—but still derived some sort of satisfaction from it. As if merely talking was enough to gratify them.

_The subject isn't the point, Sasuke-kun. Our talking is the point_.

"Hey," Naruto began, "what's up with Sasuke-teme? He looks fussier than usual."

"Shut up, loser."

"Ah, insults." Naruto threw his hands behind his head. "My favorite part of the day."

He said it with such exuberance Sasuke almost believed him.

"Sasuke-kun." Sakura turned to him. "We just saved hundreds of people, cured the previously incurable poison, and are home again, safe and sound. Isn't that reason for happiness?"

Listlessly Sasuke observed her.

"Enough for a smile maybe?"

She was jittery. Her body almost shook with her excitement from the mission. Sasuke hadn't seen her this cheerful in a while. Haphazardly Sakura pulled up one edge of his frown.

Sasuke, with the grouchiness of a fat cat, pulled her hand down. "Stop that," he complained.

His pink-haired teammate laughed, in endless good humor. "It's too early to be bothering you, isn't it?" she teased, her smile bright against the black night sky.

* * *

Sasuke walked her home. He could feel her confusion, but didn't offer any explanation. He didn't have one.

"I remember when Naruto didn't think I was safe walking home alone," Sakura prattled. "He'd always walk with me."

She fell into an easy silence. In many ways—but not all—Sakura had altered, vastly, since her younger years. It was difficult to believe that Sakura used to be one of the twittering girls who adored him. Hardships had broken some of her weaknesses. Time had bent her into another shape. A better one, he thought. At the very least, a stronger one. He was not so sure time had done the same for him. Maybe Sakura was more resilient than he was.

The downside of her transformation, however, was that Sasuke could not understand her. He could not see through her hidden glances, her coolness, her absolute control. And that tormented him to no end.

Sakura stopped him outside her apartment. "You still have tea in your cabinets. You should drink some tonight," she suggested.

Sakura laid one cool hand over his forehead, and soothed away the headache. All pain disappeared under her hands. It always did.

"Just because you've slept a little," Sakura said, "doesn't mean you've slept _well_. Do you want some medicine, to help you rest?"

Sasuke shook his head. He felt a little better.

As Sakura climbed the front steps of her apartment complex, a bird flew above. Scowling, Sasuke directed his gaze to the messenger, then sighed.

The Council.

"For you?" Sakura queried.

Her skin shone in the fading light above the doorstep. She looked at him with gently worry.

"Are you late for a meeting, Sasuke-kun? You should have told me; I didn't know I was making you late—"

"It's alright."

"But the Elders are already on your back—"

"Sakura, I said it was alright. I have an idea what it's about. It can wait." It could wait centuries, for all he cared. The Elders had hinted at what mission they wanted him to do. He had no choice but to accept; the mission was too important to the village for him to decline. And Sakura, he was sure, would be furious if she knew what—

"I cannot believe them!" Her eyes lit with displeasure. "Why are they giving you another mission this soon? We got back today!"

He wasn't certain why he felt the need to quell her anger, her anxiety. "You don't know that it's a mission."

"Of course it's a mission, Sasuke-kun."

"Are you alright?" he changed topics. She shouldn't worry. She had enough to worry about. "You're not hurt from the mission, are you?"

"No," Sakura replied, regarding him with suspicion. "Are you?"

"I'm fine, Sakura."

"Is something wrong, Sasuke-kun?" Her forehead betrayed her frustration. "I wish you'd tell me."

He had so much on his mind. Sasuke laid his hand tenderly on her pink head. "Goodbye," he murmured. He left smoke in his stead.

* * *

a/n. THANK YOU so much for your reviews and support, everyone! your comments give me a lot of motivation to keep updating on time. :D you have no idea how much you guys make me smile.

**callmeclueless, Misery's-Toll, Patchwork Toy, Lady Rini, UwIllNevERn0, cutecoockiechick, killmeangel24, cherryluver19, LoveTheCrazy, shkh4ever, scam, SasuSakuisforalways, Kaze and Kiba, Inferno Phoenyx, QuotingShakespear, CalwynDForever, triela45, Maybe Now, Lady Darkness Diamond, xXSilverSilkenWingsXx, Sakura's Indecision, TigerLilyette, raycee, Melodi Moon, Lia113, Crystal Koneko, LittleGreenWolf, TheBloodyLoveOfSakuraHaruno, MissLadyEmiko, lily, pirateKitten11893, Maelie, alayneni, SmileyFace (The Not So Anonymous Reader), MidniteCurse4Eternity, Miss Conspiracy, shvesta, Mr. Obsidian** (of **Ms. Crimson Mr. Obsidian**), **Moka nee-chan, ****Storms-winter, AngelicSnow**, and **QueenTania**.

in her review **Lady Rini **told me that she nominated me on Facebook for Fanfiction. (i'm very honored!) so if any of you have time, a facebook account, and the desire to do so—by all means, vote! here's the link. (remove spaces, of course.)

http:/www. facebook . com/topic . php?uid=55549359514&topic=16530&post=87057&ref=notif¬if_t=board_post_reply#!uid=55549359514&topic=16521

and lastly, i hope you readers liked this chapter. i love writing from sasuke's pov, so i was pretty excited about uploading this! oh, and btw, i only have THREE chapters left! can you believe it?


	22. Chapter 18

"What do you mean you can't tell me?" Sakura challenged, staring at her beloved, yet tight-lipped mentor. "I'm his teammate," she persisted; "I can know."

Sasuke had left on a mission that afternoon, without having the time to see her again.

"Do you know how much you sound like him, Sakura?" Tsunade murmured, in that fleeting and distant tone she had. "When you were in Waterfall, he stomped in here and demanded for me to tell him where you were. He was so angry with me when I wouldn't."

Sakura tried to ignore the blood that rushed to her face. "Tsunade, I have a right to know," she said firmly. "Tell me what the Elders are making him do."

"I'm sorry, Sakura." Lacing her fingers together, Tsunade made a short movement with her shoulders. "I can't tell you."

Sakura folded her arms together. She knew her teacher. When Tsunade made up her mind, there was no changing it; she was immovable. And nothing came to mind, either—no useful piece of knowledge to manipulate her situation, no loophole.

She pouted. "Tsunade," Sakura whined. "Please tell me!"

Tsunade laughed, voice all honey and soothing. "I'm afraid I can't, Sakura. But while you're here, get Naruto for me. Then we'll talk more." Tsunade picked up the papers in front of her, dismissing her pupil entirely.

With thwarted plans, Sakura marched out of the Hokage Tower. For a moment, she stood still.

Why was she this _worried_?

* * *

Sakura trudged through the streets, which were still full with the afternoon bustle of the marketplace. When she reached Naruto's apartment, she leaned against the door. He never locked himself in.

"Naruto!" Sakura called out, feeling her spirits rise instantaneously at the sight of his apartment. She dodged the precious, empty ramen cups on the floor. The house, as always, was filthy. His shirts lay across the furniture, along with various weapons and food containers. The kitchen was no cleaner than the other rooms. His shoes were on the stove.

He's always been like this, Sakura thought, fond. She couldn't hold Naruto's housekeeping skills against him, any more than she could begrudge Sasuke his ill temper. It was a part of who they were.

"Naruto!" she yelled again. She peered into the bedroom.

Blond spikes protruded out of the sheets. "Sakura?" Naruto mumbled from within his sheets. At length he sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Sakura-chan," he greeted again, voice slurred from sleep. His clothes were as rumpled as possible.

Sakura enveloped him in a hug and asked, "Why are you in bed?"

Rubbing at his face, Naruto said, "Had a mission this morning."

"This morning?"

"Yeah, why?"

Sakura sighed. "I think you're about to get another one. Tsunade wants you."

"Of course she wants me," Naruto said, smiling happily. "I'm the number one ninja!" He stood up, staggered a little, then dusted off his pants.

"Aren't you going to change your clothes, Naruto?"

He laughed. "Can't undress in the presence of a lady, Sakura-chan!"

"You just don't want to change."

The scars of his cheeks stretched with his grin. "Maybe. Besides," he continued, ambling into his kitchen, "I'm just going to get dirty from the mission. Watch it be gardening or something."

Sakura propped herself against the counter, watching him fumble around his refrigerator. "You're over-qualified for D-rank missions, you know."

"Oh, I know. I mean _extreme_ gardening. The kind with bombs and vicious guard dogs." He smiled at his own joke and titled his head back, with a carton of milk held to his lips.

Sakura snatched the carton from him. "Knowing you..." She checked the label. "This is past bad, Naruto. This is _congealed_."

"Back to basics, then," Naruto said, not at all fazed. "Where is the ramen? There must be ramen."

It didn't take him long to find the desired food. While he waited in front of the microwave, Sakura stared up at his ceiling. "Naruto," she began, "do you know where Sasuke-kun is?"

"I dunno. Why?"

"He's on a mission. You don't know about it?"

Naruto looked at her, serious now. "No, I haven't. Is something wrong?"

"I don't think so," Sakura lied. After all, she was prone to worrying, right?

"I'm sure Sasuke-teme is fine," Naruto assured, in his own quirky way. "He's too proud to die."

It was a strange reassurance. But reassurance, nonetheless.

* * *

Three mornings later.

Sakura sat at her office desk in the hospital, finishing the last of yesterday's paperwork. Sasuke still wasn't back. To keep from thinking of him, Sakura filled the holes in her day with work or Tsunade. It was an oddly nostalgic thing to do, to sit around the Hokage's office and sign paperwork. But she was also faintly hopeful of gleaning some sort of information on Sasuke. So far, Tsunade had remained as vigilantly silent as ever.

Right as Sakura yawned, the receptionist popped her head into the doorway of Sakura's office.

"Sakura-sama," she said, giggling, "I know you're tired, but there's someone in 104 that wants to see you."

Sakura eyed her paperwork. "Can it wait?" she asked. "I'm nearly done."

"I'm afraid not, Sakura-sama. I think he's about to leave. But I'm sure it's worth your time."

There was something about the receptionist's grin that made Sakura get up. Could it be Sasuke? Sakura wondered. If he was about to leave, that meant he was alright. Oh, Kami, and she had been so worried.

Sakura pushed against the door and entered the room, smiling widely. She glanced at the bed, looking for a mop of black hair and a pair of dark eyes.

"You look disappointed," Kakashi remarked, as he snapped his orange book shut. "Expecting someone else?"

"Of course, I'm not disappointed," Sakura protested, shaking her head. Although, she was definitely surprised. "It's always good to see you, Kakashi-sensei."

She laid her hand on top of his head and ruffled his spiking gray hair—just as he'd always done to her. She was hyper-aware of the scent of pine and the open air, that lingered on his clothes. He hadn't been here long. He didn't yet smell of rubbing alcohol and blood.

"It's been a while since I've seen you, Kakashi-sensei."

"It has." His lone eye observed her, with his typical cool interest. "How have you been?"

"Good," Sakura replied, patting at her hair. "I'm sure I feel better than I look, though. All I did was roll out of bed this morning."

"On call?" he guessed.

And Kakashi had a knack for being right. "Yeah," she said; "one minute I was sleeping. The next, performing surgery."

The corner of his eye crinkled with his smile. "You always have been a light sleeper."

Sakura shrugged. It was not so much that she was a light sleeper; it was that she was a doctor. Sleep was simply not in her profession. "So have you been taken care of?" she asked, looking for his medical sheet. "A broken rib," she read. But one of the other nurses had already dealt with it.

"Yes, that's been healed," was his reply.

She looked over the form. "Is there something else?"

"Some poison, I think," he answered calmly. Nothing ever upset Kakashi-sensei. "I feel fine. Just lightheaded."

After asking to see the wound, Sakura examined the superficial cut on his arm. Whatever the poison was, not much of it could have gotten into his bloodstream. He looked well, too.

"Where were you?" Sakura queried, erasing the cut with one chakra-coated finger.

"Sound."

Of course. "And the color of the poison? Do you remember?"

His eye rose to look at the ceiling. "It was purple," he said after some deliberation.

"I'm pretty sure I know this one," Sakura assured, heading toward the doorway. "I'll get a nurse to take some blood samples. With any luck, I'll have you out of here in less than an hour."

Kakashi pulled out his book again. "And that's why I asked for _you_," he said. "It's hard to read in hospitals. And I haven't figured out if Tsubasa is ever going to get Momoko to—"

"I'll do my best to be quick," Sakura interrupted, mildly amused. "I'd hate to keep you from your fine, upstanding literature."

She heard a chuckle as she left. Some things, Sakura thought, never change.

As she expected, the poison turned out to be a variation of a poison she'd found in Waterfall. Not Rina's poison; but one that was rather common in Sound. After two or three tries, she perfected the dosage, and had Kakashi on his merry way to finding the outcome of Tsubasa and Momoko's tumultuous relationship.

Another poisoning from Sound, Sakura thought. Was this just the beginning?

In the lobby Kakashi stopped and told her thank you. There was a certain weight to those words, one of regret and affection. Without a doubt, Kakashi knew he had little to do with her success; he had not made her a ninja. For a long time Sakura had been resentful of that. She had never been his prized student. He had never trained her when she needed him. But eventually she came to a different conclusion. Although Kakashi had not given her skill, he had given her something of more worth.

A team.

After she watched her teacher leave, Sakura returned to her office and faced the remnants of her work. It was eight o' clock now. Tsunade was sure to be up, probably sifting through missions with a spare bottle of sake. And Tsunade never minded the company.

Before going to the Hokage's Tower, Sakura dropped by the flower shop.

"Good morning, Ino," Sakura greeted, with the doorbell chiming her entrance.

Ino responded with a yawn, then a lazy, "G'morning." She ran her polished nails through her hair, blinked, and gave Sakura a double-take. "Wait a minute," she said, wide-eyed; "what are you doing here?"

Sakura smirked. "This is a flower shop, Ino. Naturally I'm here for flowers."

Ino let out a indelicate snort. "I know that. I mean, why aren't you at the hospital? Treating the terminally ill, or whatever it is you're up to these days."

Running her forefinger along the lilies, Sakura approached the front counter. The shop was heavily perfumed; it was a pleasant but heavy smell. Fighting the urge to sneeze, she said, "I want something for Tsunade. Can you help?"

Ino rolled her blue eyes. "You doubt me?"

"Alright," Sakura conceded; "what do you recommend?"

"For Tsunade," Ino repeated, brushing her wheat blond bangs from her face. "Any special occasion?"

"No special occasion. Just flowers."

Rounding the corner of the counter, Ino wiped her hands on her store apron. "Let me take a look around," she said. "But my personal opinion leans toward the orchids."

It had been a long time since kunoichi training. "For peace, I think?"

Ino smiled—that same self-satisfied, condescending smile she'd been wearing since the Academy. "Not peace," she corrected, pulling out a long, perfect orchid. "Rare beauty, love, refinement. But then again, I've always been far superior than you in the language of flowers."

That was an understatement. "But I'm never around flowers," Sakura defended.

"You work in a hospital, Sakura! Patients are always getting flowers."

"Not mine. They're the ones in the ER. The nicest smelling thing I work with, Ino," she drawled, "is alcohol." After plucking a sunflower, Sakura lifted it for Ino's speculative gaze. "What about sunflowers?"

The blond clucked her tongue. "Haughtiness, devotion. Nice, but predictable. I think we can do better than that. How about," leaning over to gather a flower, "zinnias? Goodness, constancy?"

"I could just fall back on some white lilies," Sakura mused. "People seem to like those."

Ino sent her a miffed look "That ruins the fun of flowers, Forehead. Besides, why would you give Tsunade a purity flower?"

Sakura expelled a long breath. "Fine. How about something for... rest. Anything come to mind?"

Twirling around, Ino sashayed down another aisle. With a whistle she gathered a bundle of flowers and, lovingly cradling them, brought them to Sakura. "White poppies," she declared. "They're perfect."

Sakura stared down at their innocent little faces and smiled. "Tsunade will love them."

"Of course, she will!" Ino grinned triumphantly. "You had _me_ to help you pick them."

After purchasing the flowers and a vase, Sakura walked with Ino out into the busy streets. The paths were flooded with shoppers, children, and frantic Academy students, nearly late for their classes. Sakura breathed in the fresh air, feeling a certain carelessness she rarely felt. But then there were the tarrying thoughts of doubt, left from her mission in Waterfall: how long would this peace last?

"Take care of yourself, Sakura," Ino said, with a kind smile.

"You, too."

"You shouldn't stress out so much," laughing now; "it'd be a shame for your big forehead to become covered with wrinkles."

A half-smile. "I'll keep it in mind, Ino."

* * *

Tsunade was delighted with the flowers.

But not delighted enough to share any secrets about Sasuke. That hadn't been Sakura's motive—but it certainly would have been a nice bonus.

The white poppies sat proudly on Tsunade's desk, balmy and meek. It was the only comforting thing in the office. The firm wood desk and floors spoke of responsibility. The glossy windows looked out on the village. It was a wonderful view, one of fragile beauty. It was a constant reminder of the terrible burden of the Hokage's robes.

It was early afternoon. Sakura leaned back in her chair, having finished her paperwork.

"I wanted to strangle the Elders the last time they summoned me. If I never see them again, it'll be too soon," Sakura swore, continuing to prate, knowing that Tsunade didn't mind and that she herself was enjoying it. It wasn't often she got to talk to anyone like this. It was always business.

"I know what you mean," Tsunade agreed, her voice throaty from sake and exhaustion.

"When are we just going to get rid of them?"

Sakura smiled at her own words, somehow reveling that she could say something so horrible to the Hokage. She watched Tsunade's moderate reaction; just a quirk of her lips.

"The sooner the better!" Sakura proclaimed. "Besides, we all know Naruto won't stand for them when he's Hokage."

Looking up, Tsunade propped her chin into her hand and lifted one elegant eyebrow. "You think I'd let a disrespectful idiot like that become Hokage?" A prideful smirk. "Not in a million years."

Sakura just smiled. "Tsunade... when _will_ you name someone else Hokage?" she probed gently, not sure how tender the subject might be.

But she knew how tired Tsunade was; it was an aching fatigue. Sakura knew that one of the reasons she loved Tsunade so much was that she understood her mentor perfectly. Their lives were strikingly similar. Their strengths, their weakness, were so alike.

With a slight shrug, Tsunade averted her eyes to the village. She stood up and faced the window, her back to Sakura. "Soon," Tsunade answered. "But not just yet. Some things in the village... have to be handled delicately. And I'm not sure Naruto knows all he needs to know... to deal with it." Tsunade turned around with an enigmatic smile on her full lips.

"Lady Tsunade," frowning, "what do you mean?"

"Don't mind me, Sakura," Tsunade remarked. "It's nothing to worry about. Don't you know that half the things you worry about, never happen?"

Even so, a profound stress translated itself onto Tsunade's face. "I know about the border problems," Sakura began. "Why haven't you mentioned it to me?"

"Why should I have, Sakura? Why should you have to know every worry in the village?"

"Then why should you shoulder it all by yourself?"

"But I'm the Hokage. You are not." Tsunade, leaning against the wide window, smiled at her student. "I know how you are, Sakura, but you don't need to be concerned. It isn't your problem to fix right now."

"The village's problems," she said decidedly, "are my problems."

"That's just like you, Sakura. You're used to dealing with things; you really are."

Why did Tsunade make that sound so terrible? "What are you talking about?"

"I shouldn't have let you take on the hospital. It's too much responsibility."

"I run the hospital just fine—"

"I know you do, Sakura," Tsunade soothed, as she rubbed her temples. "But that doesn't mean it was fair."

"Fair?" Sakura echoed. "To Konoha? Tsunade, everyone knows how busy you are. No one expected you to take care of the village and be the head of the hospital forever—"

"Sakura!" Tsunade exclaimed. "Stop thinking about me. I'm talking about _you_."

Quieting, Sakura watched her mentor's ashen face.

"It isn't fair to you. The hospital demands too much time from you."

"I don't mind, Tsunade."

"That's beside the point!" Angrily Tsunade strode to her desk and sat down. With her loosely curled fist she pounded on the tabletop. "I _know_ you don't mind," she said. "But I hate that I can't run the hospital anymore. That the Elders forced this on you."

"The Elders didn't force it on me. I was the only option. I was the one who decided to become a medic, remember?"

"Don't be so agreeable," Tsunade grumped.

"Fine," Sakura assented, laughing. "It's all their fault, and I hate them. They're vindictive little bastards—"

"That's more like it." Mirth filled Tsunade's face, making her look even younger, until the flash of liveliness vanished. Her face fell with morose contemplation.

"Don't let me bother you, Tsunade. I'm doing well, all things considered. You shouldn't worry about me."

"You're predictable," Tsunade accused. "You care about an old woman far too much."

"You're not old at all, Tsunade."

"You're absolutely right," she replied, with a sparkle of defiance in her hazel eyes. "I won't be old for at least another ten years."

"Twenty."

Tsunade laughed loudly, but again her levity faded. She was in an incredibly pensive mood, Sakura thought. "Sakura," Tsunade sighed; "I want to tell you something."

"Then tell me."

"When I die—"

"Tsunade, you shouldn't talk like that."

"—I want you to be happy." Tsunade set her cheek in her palm and stared, dazed, at the young woman opposite her. "I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, Sakura. In many ways I've been a coward. But I don't want you to make that mistake. I want you to have everything you've ever wanted. I want you to be happy. I think you deserve that much."

"Tsunade?"

"I won't live forever, Sakura, but I'm not dying until I fix all this."

What _all_ was, she never said.

"The hospital, too," Tsunade muttered. "There's something that can be done. I know it."

"A few more nurses are coming into the hospital tomorrow," Sakura added, wanting to say something positive. "In another few days, the others will complete the course."

"That's good," the Hokage breathed. "We'll need them."

"Tsunade, I wish you'd explain yourself."

"Another time, Sakura." Tsunade looked up, then quickly grinned. "I have a little more fight in me yet. I have a lot of things I mean to do, before I die."

* * *

Two days later.

Sakura lowered herself into her steaming bathtub. She groaned as her aching muscles sank into the water.

She hadn't been this tired in some time. An ANBU unit had crashed into the hospital, scaring all the junior nurses and bleeding all over the lobby. A couple hours later, two border guards checked into the hospital. Both were poisoned.

All this had happened during the latter half of her double-shift. She'd hardly eaten at all. Her legs and arms felt like rubber.

But she couldn't stop working. If she stayed home, she'd think about Sasuke.

So after several surgeries and poisons, Sakura dragged herself home, soaked her bloodied lab coat, and plopped into a nice hot bath. She slid down into the water, relishing the warmth. She closed her eyes, and slept.

When she awoke, it was to the startling sensation of a nearby chakra signature.

A messenger appeared in front of Sakura.

Her eyes snapped open. She threw her arms around her chest and let out a string of curses. Damn, she thought, there wasn't a towel in reach.

"Sakura-san," the messenger addressed, "you're needed at the hospital. Now."

And he was gone.

Sakura relaxed her shoulders and stood up. What was it now? She pulled on the first clothes she came across. With a tug Sakura pulled on her boots, then made the seal. She transported into the hospital.

Sakura opened her eyes and stared at the chaos around her. The orderlies and nurses were crowded around a dying ninja, as usual, and the stench of blood was something just a little too overwhelming for her to ignore.

"Give me some room!" Sakura barked, somehow at ease because _this_ was what she was, who she was, and what she was meant to do.

Her practiced calm shattered as one of the nurses moved out of the way. Sakura sucked in a breath, suddenly nauseated and faint. Her stomach turned. The room spun.

Sasuke's pale face was pinched in pain. Blood fell from him in rivers.

* * *

a/n. a few things i want to say! 1) there is only ONE more chapter, and then the EPILOGUE! and 2) i know i've been so bad about review replies! it's just that updating takes up most of my time. and 3) thank you so much for your dedication, everyone! and 4) you guys are amazing:

**killmeangel24, shkh4ever, Misery's-Toll, LoveTheCrazy, Lady Rini, callmeclueless, QueenTania, QuotingShakespear, Kaze and Kiba, madXhatterXcrazexoxo, Mai Sode no Shirayuki, Mr. Obsidian **(of** Ms. Crimson Mr. Obsidian**)**, pockybandits89, iSAKURA HEiRESS, TigerLilyette, HighQueen, lily, Skylineee, Justme, SasuSakuisforalways, SmileyFace, wys, UwIllNevERn0, Maelie, Unknown, Sakura's Indecision, lin, Lillypop414, stubborneyes, cutecookiechick, Whitney Rockafella, MissLadyEmiko, TheBloodyLoveOfSakuraHaruno, AGENT KELL**, and **Storms-winter**.

btw, **Unknown** asked me who my favorite character in the series is. since it's more predictable to name the main characters (my favs: 1. sakura, 2. sasuke, 3. naruto), i'll say a minor character. i like minato! i love his hair, as well as his space/time jutsus. and i like tenten. her massive weapon scroll is beastly!

what about you, readers? who's your favorite major/minor character?


	23. Chapter 19

**Author's note**. The 2,000 word EPILOGUE will be updated next week! The same day I post the epilogue, I'm going to post a _short _author's note as a separate chapter. It won't be a story-chapter; just final comments and thank you's.

Important! While there are several translations of Sakura's confession when Sasuke left (I love you with all my heart, I love you so much I can't even stand it, ect.) I'm going with "_I love you more than anything_," for this fic.

Read on. :) And please review at the end. Tell me if you liked it!

* * *

v  
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final chapter  
by danceswithsunflowers

* * *

The nurses were talking about her. Sakura rubbed her eyes, wishing they would just _go_.

"I've never seen her look frantic before," one of the nurses remarked. "She's always in control of herself. You should have seen her face. She was horrified."

Sakura ran a hand through her hair and waited for the two nurses to pass. Eventually the hospital faded back into its usual sounds, and Sakura took refuge in it. She relaxed her shoulders, as she listened to the soothing rhythm of Sasuke's heart monitor.

But at the same time, she was anxious. With every beat she imagined there was a lengthened pause. As if his heart were about to stop at any moment.

And if it did, then what? If Sasuke were to die, what would she do?

Sakura didn't have the nerve to find an answer to that. Instead she looked back at her paperwork, which had been her constant companion since Sasuke arrived at the hospital.

She had never been so productive in her life. She was about to finish the legal papers for his stay at the hospital, and she had already triple-checked all of his medication, symptoms, and charts.

It was just distraction. She couldn't bear to sit around doing nothing; she was already sick with anxiety.

He should have woken up yesterday, Sakura reminded herself forlornly. It'd been almost four days. Sakura laid her head on the table, on top of her arms, and thought. Maybe it was the poison. Maybe it had caused a little more exhaustion that she had estimated. Then again, if he had really overdone it and already been tired, the wounds could force him to stay unconscious for another...

"Sakura."

At the sound of his voice, Sakura snapped her head up, stunning her neck in the process.

Relief came in an overwhelming tide. Seeing him alert, alive, Sakura felt a dam break loose somewhere in her chest. She sucked in a breath, feeling the ponderous load of worry fall from her shoulders.

As he struggled to sit up, the white sheets pooled around his waist. Bandages covered his torso and his arms, hiding the multiple wounds Sakura hadn't found the energy to heal. When he looked at her, he opened then closed his mouth. Whatever he saw in her—it made him quiet.

Sakura pushed her chair back and stood. Not breathing, she gathered her sheets of paper in her arms.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the realization settling on his face, and the accompanying disappointment.

Without so much as a backward glance, she ran.

* * *

"You can't keep avoiding him, you know," Tsunade began, almost conversationally. She opened up another scroll, not bothering to look up. At Sakura's silence, she continued, "What, you thought I didn't know? The nurses keep talking about it."

"Let them talk," Sakura answered shortly.

"Oh, I do." Tsunade gave her a sly smile. "But the point of this is that you need to visit him. I don't know what you're thinking, but you _are_his teammate, first and foremost, Sakura. You can't neglect that bond."

Sakura stared resolutely outside the window. "Who says I'm avoiding him? I'm busy, as always."

"Too busy for the love of your life?"

She didn't answer.

Tsunade set down her pen and rubbed one temple. "I'm sorry, Sakura; I didn't mean to say that. All I wanted to say is that Naruto keeps asking about you. He seems to be saying that Sasuke wants to see you, as well." Trying to lighten the mood, she added, "Get them off my back, will you? They won't leave me alone."

Sakura looked back at her mentor with a weak smile. "I've been meaning to, Tsunade, but I just... I can't explain it. I don't understand myself."

It was something about the frightening image in her head. Of Sasuke gasping for one more breath. Of absolute fragility.

Sakura quickly changed topics. "What was his mission, Tsunade? Won't you tell me?"

"You know as well as I do—"

"It's been bothering me for days," Sakura confessed. "Why would the Elders send him, when they don't trust him? He must have been the only option. And what does Sasuke-kun know better than any of us?"

She closed her eyes and sighed.

"Sound," Sakura supplied. "Tsunade, I know he was in Sound."

Tsunade leaned forward on her elbows. "Sakura..." She looked away. "The Council knows that... Konoha is a complicated situation right now. They had to send _someone_. That's all I'll say."

"He came back so beaten," Sakura said, with conflicted eyes. "On what kind of mission did they send him? Did they want him to fight an army by himself? One person couldn't have done that to him, Tsunade. No matter who it was."

Tsunade threw a drawer open and retrieved a bottle of sake. "I'm sorry, Sakura," she apologized again, "but I can't tell you anything more. Not just yet."

* * *

Sakura was filing paperwork.

Anyone in the hospital could file papers. But she had so exhausted her duties that there was nothing else to do. Sakura had dabbled in everything. She'd written more notes about Rina's blood, and even studied over all the poisons listed in the hospital.

For maybe the first time in her career, there was nothing she needed to do.

Sakura thumbed through another file. It was the form for Sasuke's discharge from the hospital. Dated four days ago.

Just as she put it away, Naruto rushed into her office.

"Sakura Haruno," he declared. "Where have you been?" Without waiting or seeming to expect an answer, he moved around her desk and grabbed her arm. "Come on. I don't know what's wrong with you, but you can't be too busy to see him _once_."

"Naruto!" Sakura exclaimed, pulling her arm out of his grip. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Taking you to Sasuke's," he answered simply.

"But... what for?"

"What do you mean, what for? He wants to see you."

Sakura looked at him dubiously.

"Alright, he didn't say so," Naruto amended carefully. "But I know he does. And more importantly, why in the world haven't you been to see him?" Throwing his hip into her desk, Naruto folded his arms and waited for an answer. "You'd better have a good reason!"

Sakura looked down at her desk, avoiding Naruto's direct gaze. "It isn't that I don't want to, Naruto. It's just that... every time I'm about to, I get this image," she admitted. "I feel sick thinking about it."

His forehead scrunched together as he tried to understand. "You feel sick," he said slowly, "thinking... about Sasuke-teme?"

"The surgery," Sakura corrected. "Everything, I guess." She knew she didn't make any sense. "Maybe I'm just tired. I'm not thinking straight."

Naruto placed both his palms on her desk and leaned toward her. "Sakura. Sakura, look at me."

She complied, uncomfortable with his abrupt gravity.

"That isn't an excuse."

"Naruto—"

"I know how much you care about him," he interrupted. "I've always known, and it's fine with me. What _isn't_ fine with me is that you're avoiding him."

"It doesn't matter how I feel," Sakura rejoined. "It doesn't make a difference."

"Sasuke cares about you," Naruto insisted, frowning. "Have you grown blind? He doesn't treat you the way he treats everyone else. He never has."

He rounded the desk once more and took her hand.

"Now come on," Naruto said; "I'm taking you to Sasuke's."

"Naruto, I'll," fumbling over her words, "I'll go later!"

"You'll go now," he ordered. Then with his usual grin stretching over his scars, Naruto laughed. "How would you two get along without me?" he taunted. "I have to do everything around here!"

The trip to Sasuke's ended all too quickly. Her thoughts were still scattered and disjointed by the time she and Naruto were outside Sasuke's apartment.

Naruto pounded on the door, unashamed by his loudness. "You've got a visitor, teme!"

His tone startled Sakura. "Wait a minute. Are you leaving?"

"Sorry, Sakura-chan, but I'm already late for a meeting as it is." He clapped her on the shoulder and took off down the hallway, leaving her alone.

With some hesitation, Sakura opened Sasuke's door and peered into his apartment. It had been a while since she'd been here, she noted with surprise. Silently she crept into the bedroom, blocking all thoughts of leaving.

Sasuke was resting on his elbows, trying to sit up when she entered his room.

"Lay back down!" Sakura chided, already in front of him and gently forcing him down. Didn't he know better?

Sasuke grunted in protest, but did what she said. He stared at the ceiling for several moments, and Sakura noted with a touch of despair that he was still so _white_. There wasn't any color in his face. His whole torso was wrapped, and his hair was limp around his ashen face. He had cuts on his hairline, on his hands.

Sakura lowered herself onto the wood chair beside his bed. Sasuke's eyes slid to hers. There was a thick tension—who would speak first? Silence clogged the air, and an unbearable weight pressed on her chest and in her throat. Belatedly, Sakura realized she was crying.

Strange. She rarely cried these days.

"You're angry with me," Sasuke said, with a hoarse voice.

Sakura turned her face from his, wiping at her eyes. "Why would I be angry at you?"

"I accepted the mission."

She shook her head, pink locks falling in her face. "No, I'm not angry, Sasuke-kun." Her voice was unaccountably thick. She knew he noticed. She heard him sit up in bed, but didn't bother pushing him back down.

Sakura held her arms to her chest, thinking of the way his blood had stained her forearms.

"I'm sorry," Sasuke murmured, so softly Sakura almost missed it.

His eyes were dark, focused on her. They seemed to ask: _why haven't seen me?_With a tight-lipped smile, Sakura began, "How are you feeling, Sasuke-kun?"

He didn't answer, but it was clear what kind of state he was in. The poison was incredibly strong, Sakura reminded herself. Of course it was; it was Sound's. Their medical expertise was hard to believe.

Sakura slipped out of her chair and sat on the edge of his bed. She ran her chakra-coated hands down his torso, checking the progress his body had made in healing. She lifted her hands to his eyes, channeled chakra into his retinal tissues, then healed the hairline scratches along his cheekbones.

Not without difficulty, Sasuke threw his legs off the bed and sat beside her.

His body was warm. Sakura let her head droop onto his shoulder, as she shut her eyes. "What was your survival rate, Sasuke-kun?" she asked wearily, after some time.

"Nine."

She pressed her face into his shoulder. "Bastards. They were sacrificing you." The Elders, she meant. "Sasuke-kun," she implored, "tell me about your mission. I know you were in Sound."

"The details aren't that important, Sakura."

"Tell me something."

"So you haven't heard the news."

Sakura lifted her head. "The news?" she urged. "About what?"

He looked down at her, his eyes roaming all over her face. "Sound's leader," he replied. "Their civilian."

"What happened?"

"He died."

Sakura's heart pounded painfully against her rib cage. "The Council ordered you to...?"

"Assassinate him," finished Sasuke. "I know the layout of their headquarters. The hard part was getting to him."

That accounted for the survival rate. Since Sound's leader was a civilian, he would have been heavily guarded. And if Akatsuki were involved with Sound, some of their members would have been there to protect their pawn.

"There's no telling how many Sound ninjas have infiltrated all the borders," said Sasuke. "Hundreds. Thousands. They're a threat to everyone. But losing the head of their country weakens Sound."

And the Council wanted this. _Konoha_ did this.

"Konoha and Sand have been planning a war with Sound for the past year."

But she hadn't known. Hadn't suspected. She'd been so caught up with what was happening _inside_the border, that she hadn't thought about what was happening outside of Konoha.

War. It had been a few years since she'd been at war.

"Are you worried, Sakura?"

"About the village? About Tsunade? About you? Yes."

"About yourself."

Sakura shrugged. This wouldn't be her first war. "Not really," she said off-handedly, as she touched Sasuke's forearm, smoothing down the wrappings. She sensed his mood change, his frustration build.

Sasuke shook his head, gruff even in that. "You're thoughtless. It's amazing you're alive," he muttered, eyebrows drawn together in annoyance.

She only smiled. Fatigue from the work she'd been doing, from the surgery on Sasuke all those days ago, began to resurface. Sakura's eyes closed on their own accord. She leaned on Sasuke, content to forget everything, if only for a moment.

"You haven't slept much, have you?"

"No. I haven't." Sakura took his hand and opened it, tracing the lines on his palm.

For several minutes Sasuke sat silently, letting her fiddle with his bandages and his hands. At length he patted around his bed, searching for something. He grabbed his vest, pulled it toward him, and tugged an empty vial out of one his pockets.

It was the antidote she'd given him in Waterfall. He'd had to use it. "It's good thing I found that antidote," she said.

Sasuke snorted, as if to say, o_f course you did_.

Leaning against him, Sakura expelled a long breath. "I'm glad you're alright," she whispered, not giving any introduction. "I thought I was too late. I was..." There wasn't a word for what she had felt. "I've never been so scared."

"Why, Sakura?" he asked, suddenly tired, jaded. "It isn't like you love me."

Sakura pulled away from him. Her mind went perfectly blank. If she'd been thinking, she might have said they were teammates, and she loved him for that. Or even offered a simple, laughing denial. But those particular words, from his lips, stirred a much different, more thoughtless response.

The room echoed with all her movements. Sakura pushed off his bed and stood uncertainly in front of him. She opened her mouth but couldn't speak. She looked down at him, lightheaded with the erratic pounding of her heart.

She didn't think about what she was doing. All she knew was that her eyes dropped down to his parted mouth.

She pressed her mouth to his and tried to remember the feel, the shape of his lips.

It was brief.

Against his mouth she murmured a goodbye, then vanished. A few miles away, Sakura appeared in Konoha's streets. The air was light and fresh.

Sakura turned toward the hospital, unable to catch her breath.

* * *

Sakura checked the clock in the hallway. Midnight.

She slipped out of a patient's room, softly closing the door behind her. She rubbed at her eyes and started walking to her office.

She didn't get a chance to see Sasuke today.

Things had been busy at the hospital. Even so, she felt guilty. She'd intended to visit him, despite yesterday's lapse of judgment. What did he think of her now? When she'd devoted herself to him those years ago, he'd scoffed and never given her another thought. Would he do the same?

She hugged her clipboard to her chest and leaned into her door. After another moment, Sakura shoved her way into the office, ready to take off her lab coat, put down her things, and go home.

She stopped short. Sakura stared, astonished, at Sasuke.

With his head back and his eyes closed, he slept in her chair. By the thickness of his clothes, she could tell he was wearing all his bandages. He was still weak from the poison and his injuries.

Sakura padded toward her desk and stooped just in front of Sasuke's face. He startled her when he suddenly opened his eyes, unsettlingly alert.

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura murmured, concerned. "What are you doing here? Are you in pain?"

He lifted his head up and stared at her, nonplussed. "Sakura," he greeted, regarding her with curious interest.

Frowning, Sakura rested her hand on his forehead. He had a fever. Could he be delirious? "Sasuke-kun, are you—"

His mouth captured the end of her sentence. His fingers touched the bottom of her chin and angled her face, before delving into her hair.

Her fingers trembled, and her clipboard clattered onto the desktop. She couldn't breathe; couldn't think. There was only the delicious heat of his powerful body and the velvet mouth against hers.

Sakura struggled to realize what was wrong, even with her hazy thoughts. When Sasuke briefly pulled away, she remembered—she tasted it in her mouth. She could smell it. Sweet. The same empty satisfaction as always. In a short wave of withdrawal, her throat burned.

How long had it been since she'd stopped drinking?

When Sasuke dropped his head again toward hers, her thought was left unanswered. Sakura's heart caught in her throat, and her head pounded with dizziness. She touched one shaky hand to his burning chest. Her eyelids fluttered closed as she felt his breath, hot against her lips.

It took her several moments to stop him. Feebly, and without much enthusiasm, Sakura lifted her hands in between them and leaned away.

Air rushed between them. Had she always felt this cold?

His body was warm. _He_ was warm.

"Sasuke-kun," she said, unable to look into his dark, clouded eyes. Without all his support, her legs shook beneath her. "You don't know what you're doing."

Sasuke's body closed the gap between them, pressing Sakura into the edge of her desk. He pushed her lab coat off her shoulders, then tossed the whole thing behind him. His hands wandered over the cool skin of her arms, her hips, her back. The whole front of her body warmed with his. She shuddered. Sasuke groaned in response and pushed her lips apart.

She lost her senses. There was nothing besides him. There was nothing besides the heat gathering in her body. She had wanted Sasuke for so _long_. She'd only ever wanted him. Sakura had that single thought in her mind, while she wound her arms around his neck and held herself flush against him. She dug her fingers into the nape of his neck, and felt him say her name along her skin.

Eventually Sasuke's lips released hers, and her awareness struggled to resurface. After several blurred moments, she sucked in a gasp, like a drowning man, and snapped out of her reverie.

She half-sat on the top of her desk, and her legs were nearly hiked up around his hips. She was shaking. Sasuke, she could feel, smiled on her skin, as he kissed down her neck. He tugged at the bottom of her shirt and ran his fiery hand across her bare back.

A shiver ran up her spine. Sakura blushed as she tried to move away from him. Sasuke's eyes immediately found her face. In his dark, sinful gaze, there was satisfaction and smugness at what he saw. But mostly there was _desire_.

How much of that was reflected in her own face?

Sakura grabbed his hands and held them away from her. "Sasuke-kun, you're..." She breathed raggedly. "You're not even sober."

He stopped. The same alertness was back now, in the intensity of his eyes. "Sakura, I'm not drunk."

Sasuke was so serious, so in control of himself. And seeming so sober. But it couldn't be true. He wouldn't do this. "You, you don't know what you're doing."

"I know exactly what I'm doing."

"You're sick," Sakura rationalized, breathless. "You're practically delirious. And you've been drinking—"

"Just enough to dull the pain, Sakura. I ran out of medicine."

"Why didn't you get me?" she wondered aloud, a frown pulling at her very full lips.

"You haven't wanted to see me," Sasuke replied, his face darkening. "The dobe had to drag you to my apartment."

Sakura shook her head. "That isn't it, Sasuke-kun; you don't understand that—"

"Tell me you love me, Sakura," Sasuke interrupted, his eyes boring into hers. "Do you love me?"

Every thought vanished from her mind. She was too distracted, by everything. By how warm his body was, by how long it had been since she'd even allowed herself to think like this...

"Sasuke-kun," she said, "you hardly know what you're saying—"

His hands fisted on her hips. "Sakura." His voice was almost a growl, a beg. "Just answer me."

She shifted under his grip. "What does it matter?" Sakura whispered, full of honesty and hopelessness. When had her feelings ever made a difference?

His face went blank, as if confused. Sakura waited for him to respond, but he never did. Sasuke receded into the same apathy he'd been in, when she walked into her office.

"Sasuke-kun, come with me. I'll take you home," she said, tugging him upwards, letting him drape his arms across her shoulders for support.

When they both appeared in his apartment, Sasuke staggered forward. Sakura ushered him to his couch. Kneeling in front of him, she smiled, still lightheaded, still shaking, and said, "I'll bring you some medicine tomorrow, alright?"

He didn't act like he heard her. Sasuke leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and cradled his head. With a soft groan, he raked one hand through his hair.

"Sasuke-kun, you need to sleep. I'll see you in the morning." She nudged his arm, wanting him to get up, to go to his own bed, but he wouldn't move. Sakura crouched on the floor and looked up at him, peering in between his arms. "Sasuke-kun?" she ventured.

Raising his head, Sasuke looked at her softly, wonderingly. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

She leaned a little away from him. "I'm looking at you the same as I always do."

"No, you're not," he argued. "You've only looked at like that once. The night I..."

She held her cold hands together, thankful he didn't finish. How often she had tried to forget that night.

"What time is it, Sakura?"

"It's half past midnight," she answered, confused, flustered.

"Have I told you that yesterday was the day my family died?" At her facial expression, his eyes seemed to smile. "I guess not." The pads of his fingers traced her cheekbone, and he tried again, relentless, "I don't know why you've been avoiding me, Sakura, but you love me. I know you do."

He was very serious, very earnest. Like he'd wrestled over the idea many times. Then she'd kissed him and changed everything. Now he _knew_.

"Sakura, why don't you say it anymore?"

She tried to pull away from him. "How could I love you, Sasuke-kun? You betrayed us."

"You've forgiven me."

"You left me," she insisted.

"It won't happen again." He touched her chin and made her look at him. "Tell me the truth, Sakura. Stop fighting."

Fighting. It was what she'd been doing since he came back to the village. When she was thirteen, Sakura learned her lesson well: that Sasuke-kun didn't need them, or her. The fact was so ingrained in her mind, that she'd been scared to have feelings for him. Rejection was an indelible stain in her mind. But the truth was that there'd never been anyone else. Only Sasuke.

Sakura swallowed, a lump in her throat. "Why should I always be the one on this end, Sasuke-kun? Why should I always be the one giving?"

His fingers strayed to her lips. "What if I wanted you to love me?"

"You're drunk," Sakura protested, her heart racing.

"What if I wanted only _you _to love me?" Sasuke took her face in his hands and dipped his head lower. "What if..."

His mouth covered hers for an instant. Sasuke swept his fingers over her temple, remembering the way she'd cried for him.

"More than anything?" he murmured, with a faint smile.

Wet pooled on his thumb. A sob erupted from her chest, and Sakura hid her face, her tears, with her hand. Sasuke tugged her hand away and held it in his. His mouth hovered over hers. His fingers moved to the nape of her neck.

"Do you know who I want, Sakura," he kissed her, "more than anything?"

Sasuke traced the vulnerable spot of her neck, his touch ghosting along her skin, and pressed his mouth to hers.


	24. Epilogue

Konoha had declared war on Sound three days later.

Sakura slammed her ax into an enemy's chest and charged through the trees. The sounds of screams and raging weapons filled the forest. It rang in her ears, a dull tune that she'd long been accustomed to.

It had been seventeen months since the war began. It felt longer.

Her grimy body slipped through the trees, heading toward the flicking chakra signature in the underbrush. Takuya lay on his side, gasping in one of his last labored breaths. Sakura knelt by him, slick with sweat, and formed a series of seals with her hands. Green chakra wound around her ivory fingertips.

When she was half-finished, an enemy leaped toward them. Sakura disengaged the jutsu, turned, and fisted her right hand. The forest groaned with the destructive power of her punch. And the enemy was sent flying through the trees.

As Takuya coughed, more blood ran down his chin. Sakura channeled chakra into his chest, until she had repaired the damage to his lungs. She healed his injuries, but he was too weak to fight. She slung his pliable body over her shoulder and raced toward the camp.

It was difficult to be the medic here. Although she was an incredible fighter, Sakura had little time to actually battle. Since she was the only accomplished medic with her squadron, she did most of the healing.

The Council had wanted her to remain by Naruto's side, throughout the entire war. But he refused. He said he didn't want any of the other ninjas to be hurt, because he'd taken the best medic in the village. As a result, all the troops had a balanced level of medical expertise. While Naruto's group had several average medics, theirs only had Sakura and two low-rank nurses.

The war demanded the most from the medical corps. Lead by Kabuto, Sound had a wealth of poison.

It was a clever scheme. Kabuto had used the former leader to show the Sound villagers that they needed a strong ruler. After their civilian's downfall, the villagers decided to forget about Orochimaru's oppressive dictatorship—to elect another powerful ninja. They wanted their old strength back. And who could be better, they thought, than Orochimaru's own student?

In turn, the Akatsuki were using Sound to get closer to Naruto. Since Akatsuki had dwindled down to a few remaining members, they needed the raw numbers that Sound could offer. All in all, the alliance between Sound and Akatsuki was a beneficial one, for both sides.

At the camp Sakura deposited Takuya with one of her junior nurses. She turned around and ran back into the woods.

She would pound away as many Sound ninjas as she could, until she sensed another dying chakra. That was her role in this war.

Sound had the numbers. What they lacked in physical skill, they made up for in medical ability and size. But what Konoha and Sand lacked in numbers, they made up for in skill.

As evening fell, the forest grew quieter. Sakura ran a sword through an enemy's chest, then kicked him to the ground. Panting, she wiped her sweat-soaked hair from her brow and scanned the battlefield.

They had won this one.

All around her, her comrades ended their own battles. Weapons littered the trunks of the trees, and smoke was a heavy haze in the air. Everything smelled of sulfur and blood.

Sakura bounded off her branch and swept her gaze over the forest floor, checking for any fallen allies. As she did so, she finished off the lingering Sound ninjas that she crossed. At the edge of the battlefield she stopped, rasping in heavy breaths.

This had been one of the longer battles. There had been more ninjas than she would have thought possible.

She sensed a fading chakra signature. Sakura turned her head to the right, unable to see through the thick of trees, but knowing that a Sound ninja was dying behind them. With that weakening chakra was another. One very powerful, hardly depleted.

Although her legs protested, Sakura ran toward her right. She jumped through the trees and landed on one quivering bough. From a distance she could see the upright form of a man, and the distinguished emblem on his back.

As he sheathed his Kusanagi, Sasuke looked at her.

It was always sobering to see each other after a battle. Just as easily as they lived, they might have died.

A frightful sense of mortality pervaded battlefields. In every living person was the potential to die. As a medic, Sakura was more aware of this than the others.

Sasuke was the one to move. Without a doubt he sensed her chakra and recognized her exhaustion. In a mere second he was in front of her—warm, living, breathing.

Sakura took in a shaking breath and smiled. As she healed a cut that marred his cheekbone, she asked if he had the night watch, as he sometimes did. Sasuke shook his head.

"You should sleep in my tent," Sakura advised, swaying toward him. "You must be tired."

There were only ever two tents set up. One acted as a workplace for the lower medics. Hers served as the emergency room.

Sasuke grunted. He set both his hands on the top of her shoulders, steadying her, and said, "You're one to talk." Sakura leaned her forehead against him and felt his next words rumbling in his chest: "Foolish," he muttered. "It makes no sense for you to fight like this."

"We can't afford casualties," Sakura reminded. "If I'm not in the battle, I can't heal everyone."

Sasuke gathered her up and carried her on his back. "You're too stubborn," he accused, as he set his hands on the back of her thighs. "You don't have to work this hard. We're winning the war, Sakura."

Circling her arms around his neck, Sakura rested her cheek against his shoulder. "I know, Sasuke-kun. And we're going to continue to win," she said fiercely. "We won't lose."

She wouldn't allow it.

"I'll be alright," Sakura assured. "We'll be home soon. All this will be over."

The idea of peace was the oasis in this desert. That and Sasuke drove her on.

With her on his back, Sasuke ran to the camp. After a few miles, he landed on the ground and began walking.

In wartime medics were ninjas of distinction. In a word, they were _survival_. Everyone knew to protect the medic. So when Sasuke trudged through the camp, with a limp Sakura on his back, almost everyone's head turned. Questions were shot her way: "What happened? Is she alright?"

Sasuke just marched toward her tent, as she'd requested.

An older man, having already uncorked his sake, let out a gusty laugh. "At least one of us," he roared, "can get lucky in this damn war!"

She felt Sasuke's muscles tighten underneath her body. Tiredly she rubbed the front of his chest with her right hand, telling him to let it go. War was a somber thing. It did the fighters good to laugh. At anything. They needed something to remind them of the kind days in Konoha—of why they were fighting this war in the first place.

Sasuke batted the folds of her tent away and strode to the mat on the floor. He carefully set her on the mat, then crouched in front of her.

"Nice try," she said. "But I need to help the others."

"No, you don't. There aren't any severe injuries out there. I looked."

Ripping off her gloves and her elbow guards, Sakura chuckled. "What are you suggesting? That I stay in here and sleep?"

"Ah."

"And what about you?" she asked. "Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine."

Sakura looked at him, doubtful. "You're positive?"

"I'm positive," he scoffed.

"I was just making sure."

Sakura leaned forward to give him a kiss. Gently she moved her lips against his, and ran her right hand through his thick hair. As Sasuke's warm hand settled on the small of her back, Sakura slipped one arm around his ribcage and...

Sasuke pulled away. He fixed a firm, miffed glare on her.

Her left hand was tucked between his elbow and his side, covered with healing chakra. "Sasuke-kun, I'm a medic," she whispered against his lips. "Do you really think you can hide an injury from me?"

"Shouldn't waste your chakra," he criticized. "I would have been fine."

Sakura shook her head. "Healing that takes no chakra at all, Sasuke-kun. Besides," planting a kiss on the corner of his mouth, "I'd rather you mention your wounds. I worry when you won't tell me."

"Now come on," she finished, patting the mat beside her. "If I have to sleep, you do, too."

"In a while," Sasuke compromised; "I have to patrol the camp borders with Kaito."

"Again? Sasuke-kun, someone else can fill in for you. You need to sleep."

"I can handle it."

"Are you implying that I can't?" Sakura returned, raising one eyebrow. "I don't need any more sleep than you do. So if you don't sleep, neither will I."

Sasuke's chest deflated in a sigh. "Don't be ridiculous. You can barely keep your eyes open, Sakura."

"One of these days," Sakura proclaimed, "we're going to spar. And I'm going to kick your high and mighty ass all the way to Suna."

"It's a deal," Sasuke said, smirking. "But if I don't make it to Suna, you lose."

As it always did, it took her a moment to realize Sasuke was _joking_. After a beat she finally laughed. Patting the mat again, Sakura coaxed, "You must be tired, Sasuke-kun. Sleep in here for the night."

His shoulders slumped; he gave in. As he lay on his side, Sasuke looped one arm around her.

A familiar fatigue, both sudden and overpowering, washed over Sakura. Damn, she thought; he was right. Closing her eyes, she shifted closer to Sasuke. The heat of his body lulled her toward sleep.

As she fiddled with the buckles on his vest, Sakura murmured, "It'll be nice when we're back home."

He kissed the top of her hairline, but said nothing. She knew Sasuke was even more eager to be home than she was. It was the desperation. Of being so close to winning the war. Of being so close to the life they wanted.

"The next village," she mumbled; "it's two days away, isn't it?" Two more days until another fight.

His voice, although muffled by her hair, reached her ears. "Naruto's squad is going to meet up with us before then. They've covered a lot of land," he said, as he tugged her a little closer to him. "It should be soon."

She knew what he meant. Konoha would win the war; Naruto would be named Hokage; and together they would be back home. After such a long time, Sakura mused.

She could even go back to her sterile hospital—which would be less hectic after the war. The hospital's struggles, as it turned out, had never been her fault. Wartime had caused the abnormal increase of injuries. There had been an inflation of patients, while the number of medics remained the same.

But now it was almost over. Their lives, all of them, would return to normalcy.

"You should go to sleep," Sasuke reminded her gently.

She tucked her head under his. Clearing her mind, Sakura focused on his steady heartbeat and felt herself sinking out of consciousness. She blinked wearily, just moments from sleep.

A deep and quiet, "I love you," arrested her attention.

Sakura raised her head. With a tired smile she kissed him once, twice. "I love you, too," she whispered.

Sasuke brushed her hair off her forehead, then ran his thumb along her jaw, with a thoughtful look that he often gave her. "Sleep," he commanded, watching her with tender observance; "I'll wake you up in the morning."

When Sakura slept, she dreamed of Konoha. She dreamed of Naruto, as he became Hokage, and of the sun rising over the marketplace. She dreamed about the Uchiha manor, which was to be rebuilt when they returned. Most of all, she dreamed about Sasuke.


	25. Final Author's Note

Dear Readers,

First off, I'm not writing a sequel. (If I'd had more time, I would have written a sequel, instead of an epilogue.) Also, this will probably be my last multi-chapter fanfiction. I'm working on a fiction book, and to do that, I need to stop thinking about fanfiction. Lol. But I can't rule out the possibility of more one-shots, whenever they might pop into my mind.

Next, **THANK YOU** for the reviews! Really. I've never gotten so many! You readers don't know how much you've brightened up my days. :D Since I enjoyed writing this story so much, it was wonderful to find that other people liked it, as well.

In closing, this is sort of my goodbye to FanFiction. Which is a little sad, since I started writing because of FF. But I've had some good times!

Farewell, FF! You've been a good friend, in many times of boredom and creative lapses. It's been real. :)

Sincerely,  
danceswithsunflowers


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